Chris and religion

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Program from Chris's baptism
cwcsonichu: my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"
Chris being a Xenufag, to Vivitheg

Chris is some sort of Methodist (or baptized as one, at least) and has stated in chats that Sonichu and Rosechu are, too. The primary reason that he is a Methodist is because he was kicked out of his parents' Baptist church.

He hates homos because God says so, but believes that sex before marriage is A-OK. Apparently, lesbians are off the hook too, since they don't count, thus proving that Chris definitely has hatred towards men.

Concept of God

Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that Blanca is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the trolls' side.
But then God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is totally not a troll.

Aka GodJesus.

Chris, being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the fact that Chris cheated in the PaRappa the Rapper contest is not nearly as important as the suspicion that Adam Stackhouse did.

Chris also seems to believe that the Christian deity takes a strong interest in the goings on of his life. As a matter of fact, his entire love quest was started under the pretense of a divine mandate. He often invokes the wrath of God in his infantile threats. While the Lord is indeed said to work in mysterious ways, there are many semantic differences between "mysterious" and "retarded".

Chris also believes God backs up his every action and will very often say "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything that Chris will try to do and fail at]." God can also be used to back up any ridiculous belief Chris has about other people, such as his hatred against gay individuals.

Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...
Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44
I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL
Chris, Sonichu Girls Forum

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants (who will mostly tell you that any sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God), but given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much.

  • Lust: Obvious. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought: it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing).
  • Gluttony: It is not quite known if Chris' girth is hereditary or the result of over consumption, but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
  • Avarice: Chris' obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting his brother's questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain.
  • Sloth: Another extremely obvious one. Content to be the proud recipient of a "monthly tugboat" while sitting on his backside playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year.
  • Wrath: Mary Lee Walsh. Jerkops. I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD. Yeah...
  • Envy: His attitude towards other men as having taken "ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!" is a lot more envy that most Christians should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at Adam Stackhouse, the winner of the PaRappa the Rapper Contest.
  • Pride: Chris' self-centered worldview and inability to note his own flaws.

See Also