Sonichu Home Club

Online Sonichu event hosted by Chris on 02 January 2009 on the PS3 online network.

Part 1

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Transcript

[Metal Gear Solid’s VR mission intro theme plays]

Okay. Sorry about that. Turnin’ the page, uh…

Well, anyway… Jamsta continues, sayin’:

“WE HAVE A LOT OF GREAT EVENTS AND GIVEAWAYS GOIN’ ON HERE TODAY! THANK CHRISTIAN THAT CWCVILLE IS CLEAN CITY. NOBODY HAS TO GO HOME DRUNK OR SMOKY. WE’VE GOT COOLERS AND KEGS FULL OF OUR FAVORITE… CWC-COLA, DIET CWC-COLA, LEMONADE, AND GRAPE AND ORANGE SODA, COMPLIMENTS OF OUR LOCAL S-- CWC-COLA BOTTLING COMPANY.

YOU CAN ENTER TO WIN AN HD TV FROM CRUTCHFIELD, OR DRIVE HOME IN OUR NEW, ALL-EIGHT CHEVY CAMARO CONCEPT. ALSO TONIGHT, OUR RISING STAR, JIGGLIAMI, WILL BE SINGIN’ HER DEBUT SINGLE, "WAR OF LOVE", TONIGHT ON THE CONCERT STAGE HERE AT CWCVILLE BEACH. SO, STAY TUNED TO CWCVILLE’S #1 RADIO STATION FOR ALL THIS AND A LOT MORE.”

[Note: In this reading from Sonichu #8, Chris changes a few details and even omits entire sentences.]

And then, Lolisa… s-- replies, saying:

[uses his Lolisa voice]

“AWESOME, JAMSTA! WELL, I’M THINKIN’ OF TAKIN’ A SWIM IN OUR CLEAN BEACH’S OCEAN, AS WE HEAR FROM RICKY MARTIN’S PARTY WITH "LA VIDA LOCA". [sings] LAAA--!”

[Note: Chris’s reading of Lolisa’s lines is just as loose as his reading of Jamsta’s.]

[the connection is apparently dropped for a moment]

Excuse me, there. So-- and Megagi’s saying:

[uses his Megagi voice, which soon reverts to his normal voice]
“HEY, GAL-PALS! WE’RE JUST ENJOYING THE FESTIVITIES! OH – THE OTHER DAY – I SAW THIS CAT GAL FLIRTING WITH BIONIC? I PRESENTED MY "CLAWS" OF OWNERSHIP!”

Oh – and right before, she said that, uh… Rosechu said:

“THAT MEGAGI AND BIONIC… WHAT’S HAPPENIN’?”
[Note: Where Chris is reading this line from is a complete mystery.]

And so, eventually, more time passes, and, uh, well… they’re just reclining. [?] Magi-Chan… telepathically says to Bubbles:

“I’VE JUST DETECTED A SONICHU BALL CRYSTAL IN THE OCEAN.”

Then, oc-- then, Bubbles replies… in thought:

“I’LL FETCH IT IN A MINUTE.”

Then, uh… look who comes in, but old… Black Sonichu, Blake. He’s just walkin’ in front of our-- front of our… girls. And he just kicks sand in their faces, and they’re like:

[uses a girly voice]
“HEY!”

[uses his Rosechu voice]
“BLACK SONICHU, WHAT’D YOU DO THAT FOR?!”

Rosechu cla-- exclaims. And he says:

[uses his Blake voice]
“DON’T BLAME ME! THE SAND WAS IN THE PA--”

[the connection is apparently dropped for a time]

Alright. Sorry about that, uh…

Yeah. Well, he left. Anyway, as I was saying, uh…

Anyway, while Blake is-- while Black Sonichu is achin’ in pain… Bubbles just whis-- whispers smoothly… to him. She’s saying:

“YOU’RE DOING GREAT.”

And while straining, he says:

[uses a pained version of his Blake voice]
[groans] “GOOD!”

And then-- so, the… a-- in a-- in a acting moment of, uh, rage, Bubbles says:

[uses his Bubbles voice]
“ALRIGHT, BIG MAN: I’M GONNA SHOW YA THE POWER OF A WOMAN! IT’S NOT AS GENTLE AS YOU THINK IT IS!”

And they walk off, and, uh, R-Rosechu reali-- and then, Rosechu… kn-knows, so, she, like, she just… gives ’em-- gives ’em, uh, a little glare in their direction. A knowing glare. She says-- she tells ’em-- she's like, uh…

[uses his Rosechu voice again]
“SHE THINKS SHE CAN FOOL US… BUT IT’S SO OBVIOUS SHE AND BLAKE ARE TRUE LOVERS.”

And Angelica says:

[uses his Angelica voice, which quickly reverts to his normal voice]
“IT’S SO CUTE!”

So, anyway, uh… then, we’ve been [unintelligible for several seconds].

Hmm. Y’know, I wonder… lemme just move away from the table.

Can see all y’all. [chuckles] Maybe my… avatar won’t look so distracted now!

Well, anyway, uh, continuing-- continuing on, though: Jiggli-- just to finish this up, though: Jiggliami… said:

[uses his Jiggliami voice]

“THANK YOU, CITIZENS OF CWCVILLE, VIRGINIA! MY DEBUT SONG WAS INSPIRED BY MY PIKACHU BOYFRIEND, WHO SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED FROM MY HOME FIELD. I HAVE MISSED HIM FOR YEARS… FOR HIS SAFE RETURN. I PRESENT Y’ALL… "WAR OF LOVE".”

[Note: Chris’s reading of Jiggliami’s lines is at least as loose as his reading of Lolisa’s earlier.]

So, then, zi-- [?] so then, I had-- so, then, I added the song lyrics for the, uh, song that was submitted to me from the original creator of Jiggliami.

But just to skip that for the moment, uh… go back to the point that’s-- the point here:

“AFTER THE CONCERT, UH… BLANCA FOUND HER BOYFRIEND AND LEFT FOR THEIR HOME STATE OF TENNESSEE. AND JIGGLIAMI STAYED IN CWCVILLE TO RECORD HER ALBUMS, IN ACCORDANCE WITH, UH, JIVE RECORDS, THROUGH CWCVILLE STUDIOS. BUT, UH, CURRENTLY IN A TIME VOID… OR, UH, RATHER, IN MY HEART AND HEAD… A CONSEQUENTIAL, CONFLICTING DECISION HAS BEEN MADE.”
[Note: Chris changes a few details even while reading this narrative caption.]

End of meeting for this time? [?]

Mmm. Okay. So, I’m assuming that nobody-- oh! Yes.

Part 2

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