User:Bill Lumburg/Sandbox

Article prototype: List of Chris's Bad ideas

Chris is his own worst enemy. Most of the trolling that happens to him is self inflicted, because he gets really bad ideas. Below is a list of ideas he's had and decisions he's made that were not influenced by trolls whatsoever, proving to all that Chris really is that sad and not just a gullible victim of a bunch of heartless jerks.

• Chris uploads hand-drawn Rule 34 to Encyclopedia Dramatica of his own accord, including shecameforcwc.jpg.
• He recycles his navy, thinking that there is a finite amount of sperm he can produce and wants to preserve as much as possible. In an email to PandaHalo, he claimed that he came up with this idea all on his own.
• Chris invents Dating Education as a way to help autistic virgins like himself get laid (see below).
• Chris assumes one automatically gets sex on the third date. He's been barely able to get past the first.
• The required reading for Date ED is a book written by a nine-year-old intended for other nine-year-olds. Even then, Chris ignores certain parts of the book that are simply common sense to the rest of us because he's too lazy to put effort into trying to get a girlfriend.
• In fact, Chris believes he is owed sex for being friends with a girl.
• His idea of Women's rights is the right to strip in public in protest to having pickles drawn on pictures of them.
• He created Attraction Signs to try and get a girl to come to him, while generally creeping out patrons at various stores he brings the sign to.
• He entered a troll forum under the guise of a troll and suggested they rape Rocky. Whether it was to make them look bad or if he wanted to do it himself, either way it was a very, very bad idea.
• Chris thought that it was a good idea to insult Clyde by comparing him to a National tragedy.
• He removed the wireless antenna from his PS3, thinking it could stop the bug trolls planted in it and would have no adverse effects on the PS3, let alone void the warranty.
• Chris thinks porn is educational and should be shown to children.
• He believes Aspergers is stealing the spotlight from TRUE and HONEST autistics and any supposed link between them is BLASPHEMOUS.
• Most of all, Chris's idea of being HONEST is giving away too much information, which includes such embarrassing details as:
  • DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS
  • Wearing a sports bra, including divulging the cup size (42 BUST).
  • Admitting to owning a dildo and anal beads, all the while screaming that he's STRAIGHT!