Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[File:CWCLuther2 - credit to Here to Lurk.png|200px|right]]


[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|200px|left|CURSE YOU, IAN, FOR TRYING TO STEAL CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER'S IDENTITY.]]
In [[October 2016]], Chris visited some of the stores at which he is banned and asked the management to sign a contract to unban him. The documents were leaked to [[Kiwi Farms]] on 13 October.


Behold the mistake of God. '''Ian Brandon Anderson''' (who purports to be born '''[[CChanSonichuCWC|Christopher Weston Chandler]]''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a perverse, [[Chris and Wikipedia|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], overweight, delusional "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and claims to be creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a brilliant crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] created by the true Christian Weston Chandler, [[CChanSonichuCWC]].
Chris's attitude to bans appears to have remained the same [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|as his reaction]] to his ban from the [[GAMe PLACe]] nearly a decade earlier, using ridiculous [[negotiation]] tactics to tackle bans that he just cannot get over. These documents are also a big example of his [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical nature]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|deteriorating]] [[Un-clit 2.0|sense]] [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|of]] [[Chris and reality|reality]] post-[[Tomgirl]], believing that businesses (that'll be better without his patronage) will sign a legal document that will unban him and prevent them from being able to call the [[JERKOPS|police]] against him (which is illegal since contracts cannot be used to protect from [[Chris and the Law|criminal prosecution]], thus making it null and void), all because a violent, egotistical lolcow believes that not signing would prove that they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person", and are a bunch of "unwelcoming immature rat -a**" b*****", comparing them to [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]. He also believes that the reasons that he was banned are now "outdated" (similar to how he tried to convince [[Michael Snyder]] that he needs to "[[Chris and remorse|forgive]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|and]] [[Megan|forget]]"), and that the [[Chris in the media#New York Magazine|"Human Rights Campaign"]] would be on his side since he's now a "[[Tomgirl Saga|"L"esbian "T"ranswoman]]", the L and T from LGBTQ.


He goes by many names, including "Ian," "[[Christopher's name change|Irwin]] Ian Brandon Anderson," and simply "Ian". He is unusually proud of his initials "IBA" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns of the phrase "I be a".
('''[[Unban contracts|More...]]''')
 
Ian's adult life has been largely defined by his goal of stealing ''Sonichu'' to turn it into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] white girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up| sweetheart from the ground-up]]."
 
In late [[2007]], Ian became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his impersonation of Chris, wearing his own homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably childlike ripoff artwork about his unoriginal Sonichu attempt, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. Ian's reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him. Yes, friends, it gets far worse.
 
('''[[Ian Brandon Anderson|more...]]''')
 
<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 02:03, 25 November 2024

CWCLuther2 - credit to Here to Lurk.png

In October 2016, Chris visited some of the stores at which he is banned and asked the management to sign a contract to unban him. The documents were leaked to Kiwi Farms on 13 October.

Chris's attitude to bans appears to have remained the same as his reaction to his ban from the GAMe PLACe nearly a decade earlier, using ridiculous negotiation tactics to tackle bans that he just cannot get over. These documents are also a big example of his egotistical nature and deteriorating sense of reality post-Tomgirl, believing that businesses (that'll be better without his patronage) will sign a legal document that will unban him and prevent them from being able to call the police against him (which is illegal since contracts cannot be used to protect from criminal prosecution, thus making it null and void), all because a violent, egotistical lolcow believes that not signing would prove that they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person", and are a bunch of "unwelcoming immature rat -a**" b*****", comparing them to Donald Trump. He also believes that the reasons that he was banned are now "outdated" (similar to how he tried to convince Michael Snyder that he needs to "forgive and forget"), and that the "Human Rights Campaign" would be on his side since he's now a ""L"esbian "T"ranswoman", the L and T from LGBTQ.

(More...)

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