CWCki:Community Portal

The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1
CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2
CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3
CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4
CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5
CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6

I want to warn other women

Hello, my name is Jackie. Jesus, I can't believe I'm doing this.

Long story short, I'm in the market for a boyfriend and I posted online, thinking I would give it a shot. I meet a guy named Christian Weston Chandler. Guess where this is going.

I didn't know anything about this guy before I met him there. I talked back and forth with him for a bit on email, got to know him a little. I didn't know he was such an internet freak. But he told me all about this cwcki site, because I wanted to know more about him and I wanted him to make a video for me. He initially refused to make a video for me because he said it "got him in trouble before". I didn't know what he meant, so he sent me here to see videos of him talking to previous girlfriends and how the nasty trolls got him in trouble for it. Mind you, he was very careful to remind me that this website is full of lies and shouldn't be trusted, despite the fact he himself sent me here.

But I respected the fact he was at least being honest with me about this online shit. Or so it seemed. I watched a bunch of his videos, got more and more disturbed by them. I questioned him on some things, like how he apparently cheated on one of his ex-girlfriends with some other girl online. As was quite insulting (but not at all surprising now that I've familiarized myself with this site), he lied to me and said it never happened. Even though he himself admitted to cheating on her in a video HE MADE.

And a bunch of other shit he lied about too. Like professing his love for me every five minutes, even though he COULDN'T REMEMBER MY FUCKING NAME. Check this video out: http://www.mediafire.com/?zzivjw32mlj I asked him to make me a video showing me his female-pleasuring skills (this was before I started to realize what a disgusting piece of shit he is), and he CALLS ME BY HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S NAME.

So there you go, have at it. He calls this website full of liars, but as far as I can tell he's a worthless piece of shit and this site is pretty frank about it. I'm fucking done dealing with him but I thought I'd contribute my experience as a warning to all the other women in Virginia.--JaxRomy 12:24am, 22 April 2010 (EST)

• Hello Jackie, and welcome. I am sorry you had to encounter Christian without any prior warning- the truth must be shocking and a little frightening (you know he twice tried to convince the trolls to trick him into raping someone who was trying to help him and only looking out for his best interests, right?). I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that you are most welcome here, and that your experience will be added to the massive (and growing) pile of documentation regarding this mental man and his life. Your goal of warning others is a noble one and I invite you to come, join in the documentation and study of Christian Weston Chandler. Again, you have my sympathies. -Ronichu 04:54, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• Glad to be of service! Also, if you feel like you want to, you can add a better profile for him to Dontdatehimgirl.com--there's been one up there since 4chan/SA found his comic in 2007 and it's woefully out of date. And sorry you had to put up with being in a relationship with Chris. You are also welcome to contribute any information you want.--MoarLurk 04:58, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• Welcome, Jackie, and I apologize for the inconvenience you had in registering for a new account. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to leave a message on my talk page.--Champthom 05:01, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• Chris chan, "cute"? Lol. Anyway, welcome. --James Lamp-Eye 05:08, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• At least Chris had the lack of sense to point you here and warn you of what you were in for if you met him. Every new bit of Chris we see is darker and more disturbing than the last. This site does little more than hold a mirror up to Chris and let his own words speak for themselves. Enjoy exploring the man-child-sized bullet you just dodged. Any and all contributions you wish to make would be most appreciated. As you can see, we "trolls" are mainly fascinated observers of the perversion of nature known as Christian Chandler. --TubularMonkey 05:31, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• Jackie, I am so sorry you had to go through this.--Beat 05:58, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• Welcome and we're sorry for what you had to experience with Chris. You were lucky he pointed you here so soon. --Caboose -1 06:01, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

• Welcome Jackie and thank you for sharing your experience with us. I must congratulate you on your fortitude. The video he sent you make me feel quite nauseous and it's not even aimed at me! Yes, Christian Chandler is quite the sick puppy we describe and yet your e-mails are filled with juicy details and interesting anecdotes. You have proven your value and you are most welcome here among us. Griffintown 06:10, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
• Hey, there. I'm so sorry about what happened between you and Chris, but it was for the best, yes? Hope you have fun here. じゃね!--SniperFire16 13:21, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

YOU ARE FAGGOTS

every single last one of you. seriously. Clydec 01:52, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

• We love you too, Clyde. --Lime 02:05, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

• Indeed. Pfargtl9000 02:06, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

• Have my babiez, plz?--SniperFire16 03:24, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

• I want you inside me, Clyde. -Ronichu 02:30, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
• Oh Clyde, you're too nice. --BreadGod 03:25, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
• Cool.--Beat 03:40, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
• Yes. Griffintown 12:47, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Icon Templates

So I've added some code to the icon templates (and even added the normal icon template code to about a third of the shirt icons) so we can toggle the text labels for the icons. I mainly forsee this being useful for the video boxes on articles, rather than having to type {{BlueRedSleeveRugby}} Blue & Red Sleeve Rugby, you can type {{BlueRedSleeveRugby|text=yes}} to generate the same effect. It also allows all uses of the icon template to be easily updated, should we decided to do something like rename a shirt.

I notice that there is a lot of inconsistency on pages with videos - some use icon templates, some don't - so do partly, probably due to new icon templates having later been made. So my plan is to revisit pages with videos and update them to use the templates. My dilemma is - should the format for showing the text be: {{Icontemplate|text=yes}} or {{Icontemplate|text}} or something else? --Anonymax 23:56, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh and examples of the icons with their respective text labels can be found here. --Anonymax 23:59, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

I reallllly need some feedback on this. Plz replai --Anonymax 11:17, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

• Hey mate, looks fantastic. In my position as a complete nobody I approve of this change. Going back and retroactively changing every video is gunna be interesting, however... -Ronichu 22:32, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
• It's a good job Anonymax. Well done- I was watching as you put them up last night, you've done a great job with them --YawningSquirtleRedux 22:38, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Well I had to make the change to the templates so the default behaviour was not to show the label - in an ideal world, the default would be to show the label. I'm currently a fan of the {{Icontemplate|text}} way of triggering the display of labels - and unless anyone comes up with a reason to set it a different way, I'll make some changes soon. Yes the task of going through every page with video templates is going to take some time - however, it will help make all of them consistent. We like consistency. --Anonymax 00:58, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Added some more code to my sandbox version of an icon template - now the template will accept custom text:

• {{Icontemplate}} produces Comics
• {{Icontemplate|text}} produces Comics Comics
• {{Icontemplate|Some Text}} produces Comics Some Text

A more flexible solution methinks --Anonymax 01:32, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

• That works well, good job --YawningSquirtleRedux 02:43, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
• I think I'm happy with the sandbox example for icon templates and their usage - but any suggestions for improvements before I start to apply it to all templates would be good --Anonymax 14:54, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

All icon templates have been updated now. The process of editing each video page to make use of the templates is slowly underway. --Anonymax 02:26, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Sonichu update

I noticed today that some troll has "updated" Sonichu 11 with some new pages. Does anybody know who is this troll?J0haely 00:06, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Protip: When stuff appears on CWCipedia, we put it there. Clyde in all likelyhood. --YawningSquirtleRedux 00:09, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Then the troll failed in completely capturing Chris's fail. The comic is actually well done and funny. But in all seriousness, i'm starting to thinkg that its alec after seeing th sonichu 11 page here.J0haely 00:14, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

nah, the style is different, take for example the sonichu revolution pages, they are more blunt and the chris chan character ends up being the lazy jerk he usually is, while his characters are more kind and/or dumber than usual. This one has chris chan acting with reason, and focuses more onto the sonichus, and how they should really react on theyr miserable lives, on the other hand, this does go with someof the plans i've read around the CWCipedia.Basgon 00:24, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

It was originally done by a PVCC poster, and appeared there first. --YawningSquirtleRedux 00:34, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

It's hilarious. I'm thinking I'll add this to the CWC blog page, with a note saying that Wikisysop's account was "hacked" and not TRUE AND HONEST. Gotta keep up appearances, you know.--Beat 00:40, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Its funny until the end, when its just pretty depresing, but as realistic as it could be.J0haely 00:54, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

An attempt to rebuild old bridges

Hello friends. Embarrassed as I was by Chris's DEPLORABLE behavior concerning his latest female victim, I decided to write a letter to express my sheerest disapproval with his habitual dishonesty. Inspired by that young woman's disclosure of her correspondences, here is the letter I posted:

From: Alec-Chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com> To: Mayor Ian Brandon Anderson <chrischansonichu@aol.com> Hey, Chris, it's Alec. How you doing? Some of my fans linked me to that new girl Jackie on the cwcki, all those emails between you two. Too bad she broke the confidence you two had, I didn't think that was necessary. But I like best the part where she thinks I was you and asks you about my comics, and you respond by saying I was some guy who made a "fan-fiction" of Sonichu and have been trying to "1-up" you this whole time. Wow, Chris, way to go back on your fucking word once again. Remember when you told me you understood Asperchu was original and that it had nothing to do with Sonichu? Guess that was a lie. I'd say I am disappointed but since you've lied to me dozens of times already, this is pretty predictable. By the way, I can't really "1-up" a comic that stopped being produced for months at a time, anyway. On a more positive note, however, I'm happy you ARE finally working on your comic again. Between all my responsibilities and my own comic, it was getting pretty stressful to try to pick up your comic for you, too. I especially like that you decided to kill Sandy (this page: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_11/Page_27 is my favorite one). Even though you lied to Jackie repeatedly (that's why she dumped you, by the way), it's nice to see that you're now owning up to the fact that Sandy isn't your character any more than Simonla was. Hope Patty is eating your soul, Alec P.S. Hey, you like God of War, don't you? Does your recent video mean you want Kratos to wear a bra? Most men don't have boobs like you do, you know.

I kept things positive and very cordial, as you can see; I wished to make peace. Here was Chris's reply:

From: Mayor Ian Brandon Anderson <chrischansonichu@aol.com> To: Alec-Chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com> Shut up.

Following this he blocked my email (again). I wish I could say I was disheartened, but as we know this isn't the first time my olive branch has been slapped away... --ALBASPERCHU 21:52, 24 April 2010 (CST)

Alec, every time you post it's like a tiny gift from the heavens.--Beat 03:04, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Seconded.--SniperFire16 22:18, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

• Alec, I want you. Bad. -Ronichu 22:29, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Alec, if you are ever in new york you are welcome here

Internal Server Error 500

Over the past 15min, I've noticed this error occurring more frequently. Also the site seems to be running slower today. --Anonymax 17:35, 26 April 2010 (UTC) - observing

Now getting worse again --Anonymax 00:45, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Not noticed it in any seriousness for a while --YawningSquirtleRedux 10:14, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

The most retarded thing ever

http://cwctwitter.wikia.com/wiki/CWCville_Twitter_Wiki

and legi0n complained about ed. jesus christ. they even stole the box template that i stole from halcy :( --Cogsdev 12:17, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

• A wiki for Sonichu Joke Twitters. Oh internet, you never cease to amaze.--Beat 17:46, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

CWCpedia down

am i the only one getting an error when trying to enter cwcpedia? has chris taken the page down?J0haely 11:20, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris can't take it down. It's just 110MB being stupid again.--Beat 14:44, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

A Question...

Has anyone here thought of trying to send Christian a copy of "Undateable"? I think the book might break his brain... I mean, one of thing things listed in that book that makes a guy Undateable is "he plays videogames"... you all see where I'm going with this? -Keeperofthekorteenee

This might be an idea. If you got some spare money, please send him a copy. By the way, to sign your post, you need to type the symbol "~" four times. Griffintown 01:46, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

• This is interesting. Let me give it some thought, although to be honest Chris doesn't want to make himself more datable, he wants the standards of the entire eligable female population of the world to change to accomodate him. That's why, no matter how many times people say Girls are the metal, boys are the magnets he will scream denials and complain that it should be or, alternatively, sometimes is the other way around. Chris not only does not want to improve himself, he actively resists such attempts because he is perfect and you can't improve on perfection. -Ronichu 02:34, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Remember when Vivian sent a book to Chris? Any book you send Chris, that isn't positive stupid advice like "How To Talk To Girls" won't make any sort of effect on him.Basgon 04:54, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
I think the Jackie emails have shown us exactly how little Chris is prepared to go through for china, I seriously doubt that he'll make as immense an improvement as giving up his precious vidya for it. Besides, he outright refused to sell any of his videogames or game systems during the Miyamoto saga, and let's keep in mind that the manchild has like 500 games and 10 game systems No, I'm afraid Chris will forever be a virgin with rage, unless maybe he gets the chance of a free hooker again (he did accept a fatty/redhead as a potential sweetheart). Banzai881 21:22, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Chris is able to call the entire practice of Psychology stupid simply because it doesn't match up with his opinions on aspergers. The manchild can Mental Block shit like you wouldn't believe.

If someone sent him the book, he would just toss it in the giant pile of crap in his room and forget about it. On the slim chance that he actually did read it he would either mental block it (Well that's just your OPINION/That's debatable) or miss the point completely (Wow! Good thing none of these apply to me, because I'm perfect). If we go for the best possible outcome here and assume he both reads it, and misses the point completely, we might get some moderate lulz if he chooses to make a video and lecture us all on how much he knows about dating, but the chances of that happening are near-zero.

Still, if you wanna buy Chris free stuff, be my guest.--Beat 22:07, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

To all of you... good point. I'm a bit new to mocking this idiot manchild; I'll catch up eventually... Keeperofthekorteenee 22:42, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Welcome, friend, and enjoy the ride. I reccomend Chris and art and Chris and English, two of my favs :D Banzai881 22:52, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Hello All

New user here, been browsing this excellent site for a few days now, after first hearing about Chris last year. Look forward to becoming a contributing member of CWCki, and thought I'd post here to 1. Offer my aid/support/whatever in regards to future trolling efforts (You guys have done some really excellent work, if I may say so), and 2. Let it be known that the PVCC forum is apparently having trouble in regards to getting new-user registration past the "fill in your data and submit for registration" phase (I realize that it's a private forum, and that may well be by design, but I thought I'd speak up on the off chance that it's not intentional). Anyway, I suppose that's all I have to say at the moment, so... Yeah. Hello. RobGoblin 17:16, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

y hello thar--Wintermute 20:01, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

Hiii <(^_^)> J0haely 01:08, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

The PVCC registrations are being submitted, but the handling of the confirmation page is broken. It's a known issue - unlikely to be fixed soon though. --Anonymax 01:47, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

Hello Rob. And Hello CWCKi. I am another new user, and I would also like to offer my assistance as a writer/contributor as well as in any future trolling efforts. I first heard about CWC from monkeyoaaron's (sp?) Ear Rape Coffee video on the youtube. So I did a little research and found CWC's TRUE and HONEST videos of fail. I found out about the CWCki when Hells1ng920 posted his epic rant on youtube, he had a link to this website so I clicked it and it led me here, and now I'm a member, so I will talk to you all later! U2rockfan 11:50, 8 May 2010 (UTC) (Patriot720 on Youtube)

Performance styles

I have been browsing aorund the videos for a while and noticed that maybe we could add "Racist" to the performance styles as they have been relatively frequent. (the jugaloo, bunny hop video, the surfshack tito saga videos and possibly some others i may have missed).J0haely 01:12, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

500 Internal Server Error

Is it any better now? Clydec 20:08, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

Chris is dead, now what

So lets say that our hero decides to become an hero what becomes of the wiki ? --Wintermute 06:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

i never realized that. but i doubt that chris would become an hero. i think it would be by diabetes or a heart attack. but either way i fear the day, as it would mean that the cwcki would go down.J0haely 12:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

• The CWCki will remain as a warning to future generations. The mistakes of CWC must never be repeated. --Ronichu 13:08, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

That is actually something I have wondered for a while. What if Chris died? Hhhmmm...Well, for one thing, Da Update would certainly slow down. CWCipedia would either shut down, be turned into a monument to Chris or be opened to trolls again. And then CWCki would become a site for literal Christorians, and everyone would just be devoted to researching Chris's life. Then one day, Cogs sells the information to a movie studio, and we get Christian Weston Chandler: The Movie. --Edward 13:21, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Visual consistency of comic Chris

Anyone notice how Chris has drawn himself looking like 50 different people across all these issues? Anyway, I'm thinking of either adding an article about this or incorporating it into the comic chris page as a special section, any thoughts? Banzai881 18:54, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

• At one point, I wanted to collaborate every depiction of Chris into one image, but given he draws himself differently so many times, it is a Herculean task. If you feel like it, go for it. I'd say that this could easily be incorporated into the character page for Chris's comic book self. --Champthom 21:25, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Gamefaqs

Profile

Modnation

Street Fighter

The writing style's pretty close. If it's a troll, he's either too subtle for his own good, or has no real goal other than "Pretend to be Chris".--Beat 17:47, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

• Get Clyde to confirm or deny it and we'll go from there. --Champthom 04:50, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

• Sir yes sir.--Beat 07:28, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

• That thing reeks of Chris. I would bet money that it's him. --T K 19 08:23, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

Memo on uploading images

If you upload images you found on other sites, try to source the HONEST and ORIGINAL creator when possible, or at least where you found it. It's good wiki policy in general. Likewise, try to use Creative Commons stuff whenever possible. --Champthom 04:53, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

Sydney Kirsch

In the wake of the Jackie emails, on or about the 22nd of April a brave troll woman named Sydney Kirsch mistook Chris for "another Chris" at The Game Place, with whom she had intended to do some Poke'mon related business. Since she had forgotten this handsome, devilishly charming man's e-mail address, she simply googled Chris and The Game Place then e-mailed the first place that came up. The following is all record of what took place...

Sydney had the noble end-goal of wanting to get Chris to resume answering the mailbags, by trading naked pictures of herself for answered questions. Unfortunately... things did not turn out that way at all.

Some subject matter (mostly audio clips and voice mail messages) have not been posted because they are mostly irrelevant, don't add to the story and/or don't contain input from Chris. Note that the date/time stamps on e-mails are for Virginia time, while the date/time stamps on audio clips are Adelaide, Australia time.

Mistaken Identity

Thursday, April 22, 2010 8:54 AM Subject: Hi Chris, it's Sydney (the girl from The Game Place) again! From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hi Chris, It's Sydney here! We met each other briefly in The Game Place (I was the teenage blonde girl who wanted to buy those Poke'mon cards). I might be getting you confused with someone else, so stop me if I'm waaaay off track! ;) You asked about my boyfriend Sam- unfortunately, we broke up last week because that damn arsehole was cheating on me with your friend Tracy. Can you believe it?! Arg. It makes me so angry! So yeah- I'm back on the market baby, woo hoo! :D Anyway, I know it's a long shot, but I was hoping you might still have some more cards for sale? If not, maybe we can battle- I'd love to see them in action! We can meet up in person if you like to do the trade, or we can do it by eBay or something if you'd prefer. Hugs, Sydney.

A little nibble...

Thursday, April 22, 2010 3:23 PM Subject: Re: Hi Chris, it's Sydney (the girl from The Game Place) again! From: "chrischansonichu@aol.com" <chrischansonichu@aol.com> To: hugsrfun@yahoo.com I'm sorry, you are confusing me with someone else. Although I did USE to go to The Place; Michael Snyder, the "Manager", banned me from there almost Two Years Ago; he thought I was "scaring his customers away". I think Two Years is long enough for a ban. >:( Have a good and safe day, Christian W. Chandler.

Sydney responds

Thursday, April 22, 2010 3:30 PM Subject: Re: Hi Chris, it's Sydney (the girl from The Game Place) again! From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hey Chris, Oh wow, I'm sorry! Yeah, I must have mixed my Chris' up. I'm pretty sure the Chris I meant to e-mail wasn't called Chandler. But hey, I made a new friend, so that's cool too! Wow- Michael did that?! He always struck me as a really nice guy. I can't believe he'd ban you for two years- lol! What a dick. Maybe I won't go anymore, haha, I can get cards online for waaay cheaper anyway. So anyway, what've you been up to since Michael banned you? I mostly just hang out at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, although I haven't been for the last like week because my ex-BF is there and I REALLY don't wanna see him at the moment, lol. You seem nice- e-mail me back okay? Love, Sydney.

Interest is Building

Chris sent his Hook Cafe image to Sydney, acne scarring and all.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 3:47 PM Subject: Re: Hi Chris, it's Sydney (the girl from The Game Place) again! From: "chrischansonichu@aol.com" <chrischansonichu@aol.com> To: hugsrfun@yahoo.com I hear you on getting cards online. Don't stop shopping at The Place on my account; they still have other good merchandise as well (last I checked); I went there the other day to ask Mike to lift the ban; he repeated over and over Hard "No"s. What you can do for me next time you go there, of which I would appreciate, let me know if they are still selling Eye of Judgment and Universal Fighting Series card packs/decks, and tell Mike that you know what he did to me and show him little respect. LOL. I thank you for the compliment; I feel a little better hearing that. I'm attaching a current photo of myself; do you have one of yourself to share? And perhaps you and I can hang out sometime. It was nice being introduced to you, Syd. Stay Safe, Christian.

What a sexy, sexy man.

Sydney sent this modest picture in reply. Chris would later compliment her on her appearance, but either not read the text body of her e-mail at all or, if he did, not remember even a single detail about her. Hmm.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 4:48 PM Subject: Re: Hi Chris, it's Sydney (the girl from The Game Place) again! From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hey Chris- wow, that's a nice picture. Is it recent? You look happy. :) And I like your vest- it's really rugged! I do actually have a picture- it's a year old I think (maybe?? lol), my old boyfriend took it. He's a professional photographer so it looks WAAAY nicer than I am irl, haha. He did some pretty serious airbrushing and all, but it's me under there, I swear! When we get to know each other better, I'll send you through one 'au naturale', Hehe. He's also the one that drew the heart. :( Now I feel sad, remembering this. Sorry. I guess the pain is still kinda fresh. I'll drop by at the Place in the next couple of days and see what they have in stock. If they have those two things, I'll definitely let you know- about talking to Michael, I'll see what I can do, hah, but I can be a little shy sometimes. Anyway, I've attached a picture. You seriously seem really nice- I don't know why Michael would react that way, he's always been fair to me, but I guess some people really do have a dark side. It was really nice being introduced to you, too- after my boyfriend cheated on me THEN dumped me recently, it's been very nice to hear a friendly voice. I've seriously started to think all men are dicks, but I guess it isn't so! Heh, Syd'. I like that. :) One of my old friends did call me that once, I wish she had kept it up, I quite like it. My full name is Sydney Kirsch (It's German in origin, it means 'cellar') just fyi, and also, is it Christian or Chris? Or is Chris short for Christian? What do you prefer? What sort of things are you into, Chris? (Or Christian?) I'm a big aircraft girl, I love planes. F16s, F22s- did you know they had the JSF in the new Die Hard movie? I swear, I kinda squealed a bit. It was like a dream come true, seeing it hover like that. Anyway, it was nice talking to you! I have to duck out to do some shopping now, I'll be back later. Love, Sydney.

Well, sometimes her memory fails her

Thursday, April 22, 2010 4:48 PM Subject: P.S. From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Oh hey- I realised a mistake- the spellchecker corrected my name from 'cherry' to 'cellar' because I made a typo. Kirsch means cherry. I don't actually like it, though, because I think Sydney Cherry sounds so freak'n retarded! Like a stripper name or something, haha. Love, Sydney.

Houston, we have liftoff!

Friday, April 23, 2010 2:12 AM Subject: You're Cute. :) From: "chrischansonichu@aol.com" <chrischansonichu@aol.com> To: hugsrfun@yahoo.com You and I should definitely meet up; I feel more comfortable with in-person interactions than internet. I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me. I'd rather not talk about that now. the photo I sent you is recent; I got a trucker look going for me. I'm sorry to hear about your ex dumping you. I like to think I am a nice guy; I try to be anyway.  :) Allow me some in-person time (dates and whatnot), and I will show you some fun and good times. "Christian" or "Chris"; I'm okay either way, so feel free to call me whichever you like better. To describe myself... I'm 28 years old, 5'10", average body type (don't hold my cleveage against me, LOL), I have never smoked and I never will, I'm a social drinker, I'm a Pisces, and I'm a church-going Methodist. I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible. I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them. I’m really good at Drawing, writing, crafting, making well-thought decisions, heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share). The first things people usually notice about me I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with. My favorite books, movies, music, and food Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken. The six things I could never do without -(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart. -My Video Games (PS3, PSP, DS and Wii, and all of my older consoles). -My creative genius. -Sex -My good health. -My glasses; I'm nearsighted. I copied/pasted my description from my OKCupid.com page (ChrisCSonichu). Please reply with your age, details and what you would put in your profile.  :) Let me give you my cell phone number, 434-760-0848, so you can call me and converse while hearing each others voices. You may inform me of your number in your reply as well, yet if you're calling from the 434 Area Code, I will be likely to pick up. If I miss your call, you can leave a message on my voicemail, and I will return your call. Oh, Also, my father and I like airplanes too, yet we are more into music and stuff. You seem very knowledgeable and smart; I like that in women. And I'm Liking You, Syd.  :) I'll TTYL. Stay Safe, Christian.

All About Sydney

[TL;DR it's just an infodump about Sydney, her likes and her dislikes, etc. Note that the lack of apostrophes in this e-mail was due to user error.]

Friday, April 23, 2010 3:39 AM Subject: Re: You re Cute. :) From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Haha, well, let s take it slow for a little bit, hey? I d love to meet up with you eventually, in fact I guess I d prefer it in the end, but yeah I ve had my share of bad relationships too- I d rather we kinda slowed down a bit at this point if that s okay! Haha... At the moment we are email buddies, let s see where it goes from here. Thank you for your kind words regarding my picture. I can be kinda shy when first meeting people, so I use that year-old picture because it s one I know I ll usually not feel really embaresses about (lol). I don t have a profile as such at the moment, I try not to keep too much stuff about myself on the internet because I m afraid of creepy stalkers, lol. I guess I ll talk about stuff as it comes, haha. Okay. I m 19 years old (20 soon, OMG I feel old :(), blonde, really short (lol) and obsessed with jets. I a Cancer zodiac sign, which I hate because it s named after a deadly disease (lol :(). I sometimes play Pokemon and stuff but I m not really good with the rules so I always lose. Opps. I don t smoke, never have, and I don t drink these days either. I m a pretty quiet gal, but I love the roar of engines, haha. I guess we all have our personality quirks. I have an old clunker of a computer, along with an iPad and an Xbox 360 which I bought so I could play IL-2 Sturmovik: Birds of Prey and Over G Fighters. I guess I prefer Over G. If you have an Xbox too, we could play together if you want? :) I was born in Albany WA, alhough I was concieved in Sydney, Australia which is where my parents got the name (lol, unimaginative!). I spent most of my school life getting shuttled between Tamworth, Australia and Albany. I would usually change every year or so, depending on what my parents wanted. Those long flights, plus hugely boring stayovers in LAX meant that I got to see lots of jets, inside and out, haha. When I graduated high school, I applied to be a pilot in the National Guard, but I was told that since I d spent so long in Australia I might be a security risk, plus I have asthma, so I was denied entry. :( Serious, that was the worst day of my life, I cried for weeks. After that, I basically went back to Australia for a while, because my dad got a job there, but six months later his work moved him to VA... And here I am! Hehe. Because I got moved around so much, I barely got to be really close friends with anyone or really stay at any one place for long, which is a real bummer, lol. Anywho. It s okay if you don t wanna discuss your past relationships, to be honest, I d rather keep mine to myself too at this point. I m not interested in what happened in the past. Thanks for the offer of your cell phone- I will consider giving you a call once we know each other better. :) Just don t laugh at my accent! Anyway, wow. I ve really been rabbiting on about nothing, hahaha... Sorry if I have bored you to tears, my life isn t very exciting. Write me back, okay? Love, Sydney. (lol. Now you know where I got named after...)

Radio silence.

[Not having received a reply, Sydney wrote back after a day.]

Saturday, April 24, 2010 2:49 AM Subject: Re: You re Cute. :) From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hey Chris, are you there? I replied! Love, Sydney.

Radio silence continues

Saturday, April 24, 2010 6:17 AM Subject: My ex-boyfriend talked to me today :( From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hey Chris, I feel chestfallen- my ex-boyfriend talked to me today about some stuff, and now I am very sad, can we have a chat about stuff? Maybe AIM or something? I noticed you were using an AOL account. Love, Sydney.

Still no word, Skype time?

Saturday, April 24, 2010 1:23 PM Subject: Hey, an idea! From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hey Chrissy, I had an idea- I am uncomfortable giving you my number since we just met, buuuuuuuuuut... do you have a Skype account? We can have a Skype phone conversation if you like. :) My account name is hugsrfun, just message me whenever with either a chat or a call... lol Just FYI, I leave it on CONSTANTLY, even when I'm asleep, so if you call and I'm not there don't stress out okay? Love, Sydney.

It does not look good...

Sunday, April 25, 2010 2:42 AM Subject: Are you ignoring me? From: "Sydney Kirsch" <hugsrfun@yahoo.com> To: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com Hey Chris, Are you ignoring me? Ever since I sent you all that info about myself you haven't replied yet, despite several e-mails. What's wrong? Love, Sydney.

Sydney Calls

Sydney Kirsch Christian Weston Chandler Call 1
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Stardate	29th of April, 2010.
Featuring	Chris; Sydney Kirsch
next Sydney Kirsch Christian Weston Chandler Call 2

Radio Silence Broken

[Chris sent through this email right after the call.]

Thursday, April 29, 2010 3:09 PM Subject: Please forgive me. From: "chrischansonichu@aol.com" <chrischansonichu@aol.com> To: hugsrfun@yahoo.com I was in error in memory; I had you confused with someone else who e-mailed me recently. My bad. I better recollected you as I was eating my breakfast and drinking my coffee. And let me add that You Are Beautiful. You'd be a woman I'd wait for happily. As for about myself, let me copy/paste my bio from my page on okCupid... I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible. I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them. I am looking for a woman who is honest and will love me for me, and sex is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 18-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single. What I’m doing with my life I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff. I’m really good at Drawing, writing, crafting, making well-thought decisions, heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share). The first things people usually notice about me I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with. My favorite books, movies, music, and food Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken. The six things I could never do without -(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart. -My Video Games (PS3, PSP, DS and Wii, and all of my older consoles). -My creative genius. -My good health. -My glasses; I'm nearsighted. -Food/Water I'll leave you with that for now, and you are welcome to reply with more or less of your own Bio Specs.  :) BTW, you live in the Charlottesville, VA area, am I right? I want to make sure, so I can rest assure I won't have to drive farther to your pad (should the "Bonus Round" begin). Stay Sweet and Safe, Christian.

OH SHI-

[Things are going along smoothly, right?]

Sydney Kirsch Christian Weston Chandler Call 2
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Stardate	1st of May, 2010.
Featuring	Chris; Sydney Kirsch

It is probable that, after her dismal failure, Clyde Cash had the woman executed. Such is the fate of those who fail Clyde.