CWCRockin4Way.jpg

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They came for CWC.

CWCRockin4Way.jpg (released officially on CWCipedia as CWCMenajAQuad.jpg, because Chris really can't speak French) was a leaked image of Chris engaged in an orgy where he is penetrating a "half and half" (a possible reference to her being biracial) from behind, while fingering a blond woman and, surprisingly, a niggo.

Some argue that this is the most controversial image in the CWC canon since ShecameforCWC.JPG. It is still less controversial in that this time, the women offended are entirely products of Chris's imagination, which is a first. Of course, this doesn't really offer that much relief, especially when Chris has possibly deluded himself into thinking that these women are, in fact, real.

Analysis

What the picture looks like with the 'Half and Half' removed by an amateur MS Paint user. Thus it is revealed that Chris fails harder at anatomy than does Rob Liefeld.

Whenever Chris attempts to do Rule 34s, he fails in his usual spectacular fashion. Like his previous benchmark for illustrated depravity, ShecameforCWC.JPG, Chris's drawing is a truly awful piece of work:

  • The "half-and-half" and Chris; there is no physical way that can happen. Even if the girl were sitting on his lap, there's no realistic way for his penis to reach her vagina like that. The way it's drawn, Chris has cut himself at the waist and his duck is just stuck in there.
  • Even when ignoring the obvious anatomical gaffes, the sex position and the whole situation in the picture is something that just wouldn't work in real life. This is what happens when all of your knowledge about sex comes from pornography.
  • Both the "half-and-half" and the niggo are just not reacting at all. Compared to the blonde-haired girl, the niggo looks like she's rocking out to some music and the half-and-half is just waiting for something to happen. Considering Chris's duck, though, this is not too unrealistic.
  • Once again, Chris has made sure to include both the medallion and his different-colored eyes.
  • In real life, the Gitar of Fail and Singstar microphone (?) are not, strictly speaking, essential sex toys.
  • In spite of his new-found \m/ total hardcore death heavy Guitar Hero metal \m/ lifestyle, there's still a portrait of Britney Spears on the wall, complete with "Oops!"

Appearances

The image was first leaked to the trolling public by Bryan Bash towards the end of September 2009. Chris himself officially acknowledged the image a couple of weeks later, in his 10 October Captain's Log, where he waved it about with great enthusiasm as a totem of his alleged heterosexuality. He then gave it a permanent home on CWCipedia.

Fantasy or reality?

Indeed they came.

While it's always a dicey proposition trying to draw grand conclusions from Chris's demented rants, his comments on the image suggest that he might believe he has actually performed the acts depicted. In the Captain's Log video where he gave the picture its official debut, he declares "I'm having sex with three women!" Not "I drew myself having sex with three women," or even "I'd sure have sex with three women if I ever got the chance," but "I'm having sex with three women."

It's well-established that Chris has an occasionally tenuous grasp of the distinction between fantasy and reality, especially with regards to the lives lead by his fictional creations. Chris may have reached a point where putting his fantasies down on paper is enough, from his point of view, to make them real. He at least considers the image to be indisputable proof of his straightness, fetishising it along with other random objects like his Optimus Prime toy and Sailor Moon poster. In Chris's mind, the horrifying image possesses a far greater significance than your average piece of terrible, terrible artwork.

Gallery

Chris is not so shallow as to be fucking three random ladies. Rather, these are members of his Guitar Hero band and they have unique names. Jody Zimmerman (the niggo) is the drummer, Zuri Alryte (the "Half-and-Half") is the singer, and Kiera Bei (the Aryan blonde) is the bass player. So, yes, Chris is building his virtual harem.

  • Zuri Alryte: she's "All right" because she's at least half white.

  • Kiera Bei: Britney's long lost twin sister?

  • Jody Zimmerman: A sistah or a brotha? You decide.

See also

External links

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