PS3

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Revision as of 23:08, 24 September 2009 by VanKrause (talk | contribs) (→‎PlayStation Network: Added a section on occasions when Chris's PSN has been hacked)
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A life upgrade.

The Sony PlayStation 3 is Chris's "life upgrade." He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made a video where he built one out of Pixel Blocks. He would "throw out the cure for autism" for one. He eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his monthly tugboat.

PlayStation Network

Confirmation emails, a testament to Chris' financial responsibility.

Chris, being as irresponsible with money as he is, went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's online capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN it has contributed into most of the $2000 of his credit card debt (although this was during the Julie Saga). As of now that number could be lower or higher, but almost definitely is higher.

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much, and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem anime. In the file of his PSN purchases, it has been found he bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.

Trophies

According to PSN profile for Sonichu, as of September 11, 2009, Chris has 402 trophies. Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.

Chris is a trophy whore; when he plays a game, he plays the shit out of it. Although more than half his games are at or near 0%, the rest (including such genre-redefining classics as Sonic 2006) are 100%. Comparing to the list of games he owns, there's a bunch of them that he hasn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he has touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his BioShock trophies are from the beginning of the game, and all were got in October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of BioShock will blow your mind.)

Chris has a big e-penis. It has been alleged that Chris will download completed save files for games to unlock everything, such as LittleBigPlanet to unlock all of the level creation items, so he might not even be any good at games he actually plays. (By sheer coincidence, borrow-a-save achievement grinding isn't possible on the Xbox 360. Perhaps yet another reason Chris doesn't like it?)

Hacking

As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account has been hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. BlueSpike, in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart Julie, was able to take over the account in late February or early March of 2009 and used it as a wedge to control and torment Chris. Later, in the summer of 2009, Jack Thaddeus seized the account, resulting in the infamous eight minutes of console sex and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

It’s hard to be certain regarding the disposition of Chris’s account at any given time, but chances are, if it hasn’t been hacked at the moment, it’s only a matter of time.

Fanboyism

And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call... My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever
Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in PS3 History Level speech bubbles
Chris's Sonichumobile camped outside a Playstation Cave

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the Hex Bawx.

Sexual attraction to PS3

See Chris humps his PS3

On 24th July 2009, a video of Chris repeatedly assaulting his PS3 with his duck was leaked.

See also