Difference between revisions of "User:Beat/Sandbox"

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=Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)=
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually belie... no wait.]]
On 18 [[April 2010]], Chris created a page on the [[CWCipedia]] detailing many of the girls he's known, (or believed he knew) over his lifetime.
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|right|'''This''' is what Chris actually believes.]]
{{Quote|Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here!|[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]}}


This list offers yet another disturbing look into Chris's deeply fucked-up mind.  While most people on the internet avoid revealing their own personal information, Chris has apparently ran out of things he hasn't told about himself, and is now revealing the secrets of others.  The fact that he's doing this post-[[Wallflower]] is surprising, considering that she broke off all ties with him because he leaked her information to the internet.  The only explanation that currently exists for this recent action is that Chris is either an idiot or an asshole.  Possibly both.
Of all the things Chris [[fails]] at, you would think '''Patriotism''' wouldn't be one of them.  Sadly, you would be wrong.


The list contains a mixture of real people and trolls, and is apparently in chronological order since he met them.  Oddly, he includes one of his grade-school teachers on a list that is otherwise 100% people Chris wanted to bang.  Notable exceptions include troll heroin [[Vivian Gee]] whom Chris has repeatedly claimed is a gal-pal, and the obese girl Chris went out with once.  [[Rocky Shoemaker]] is also nowhere to be seen, which is unusual considering the inclusion of Mrs. Virginia Sanford, and the [[IRC (23 July 2009)|fact that he wanted to rape her]].
== The United States and Chris ==


==Page text==
In truth, Chris is quite blessed to be an American. In almost any other non-western country in the world he would have been shot or put to work as menial labour.  How good the US is compared to other nations is a debate that will rage on forever, but in the States Chris is guaranteed the same basic rights guaranteed all Americans, as well as a few perks such as his [[monthly tugboat]].  
I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime.  They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations.  I am here to set the records straight.


==How Do I Get and Know So Many Women?==
== Chris on Patriotism ==
**A Major Reason I have had more women friends then males, is mostly due to the Medically Found Fact (which was found early in my life) that I get along better with Females than with Males.
<br>-I am naturally attracted to women, Pure and Simple.
<br>-In my view, women are more sweet, understanding and honest than most men are.
<br>-After they get to know me in person, women tend to like me much more.
<br>-I Am Good Looking.


==The Women in my Life==
{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|Sonichu, delivering the Clarksville Address}}


===[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] (Spicer)===
As Chris likes to point out, he is American.  This doesn't make him [[Chris and his ego|special]], considering there are 300 million people who can make the same claim, he also likes to point out how he is a "true American". His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his [[Twin Falling Towers|tendency to mock national tragedies]] and [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" make him out to be even less of one in the eyes of the [[Troll|trolls]].


My first female friend, and my childhood Best Friend, Sarah was and still is a very nice and sweet girl.  She has affected me with positive encouragement in my life. Although I have lost touch with her since she married her husband, William, I will never forget her as the friend I have had longest in my lifetime.
Chris treats patriotism (love of one's country) the same as he does with every other 'love' in his life; lip service and mindless devotion without criticism. Further, much as with other things, Chris believes that by one thing simply existing as a part of something, it will automatically inherit all other parts of that thing. Sonic the Hedgehog is a good character, therefore everything that features Sonic the Hedgehog (even terrible, terrible computer games such as the universally panned Sonic Revolution) must automatically be good. To whit:


===Tiffany Robinson===
{{quote|00:18 <@cogsdev> What do you think about Yahtzee's insulting review of Sonic Unleashed?|Cogs, in [[IRC_(18_December_2008)}}
{{quote|00:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> if it's against Sonic, I would not read it at all.|Chris, displaying blind obedience in [[IRC_(18_December_2008)}}


My First Crush; she was a very pretty girl back in my Green County School days. We would hang out now and then during school hours and play.  Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy.  I do not know much of what she has been up to these days.
Chris takes the same attitude towards America. CWCVille is inside Virginia, which is inside America. CWCVille is a thing to be loved and never questioned, therefore America is a thing to be loved and never questioned; this is especially true since him being American is part of his identity, which means any attacks on America are [[Chris and his Ego|attacks on him personally]]. In [[Do_Not_Dis_C_Ville]], Chris said that ''any'' mocking of him, Sonichu, Rosechu or [[CWCville|his personal dictatorial hellhole]] was, in fact, mocking Charlottesville, Virginia and all who dwell there. In that same video, Chris pointed out that he started with a red, white and blue shirt, which was a further display of his patriotism (or, more likely, a co-incidence he turned into a huge retcon).


===Mrs. Virginia Sanford===
== Chris and Being American ==


She was the most influential teacher in my life. During my years at Providence Middle School, she taught me better social skills, how to better cope with other people, bullies and life. With a positive and fun tomboyish attitude, she was a teacher any child would be most proud to look up to and be taught by.
{{quote|[''speaking about Liquid Chris'']
Dad: I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?
Chris: I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual...
Dad: Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.
Chris: I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.|Chris, in the [[Father Call]].}}


===Natasha Turner===
Chris has a warped view of what constitutes a good American. Chris countered Kacey's father's assertion that Liquid Chris was an upstanding young man by spluttering about having never left America. In Chris' mind, being called an American is the opposite of being called a [[niggo]]; it's just a generic word used to compliment someone. He had no problems calling [[Tito|Surfshack Tito]] a 'nigger' to his face, even with absolutely no evidence that Tito was any particular race at all. Presumably, the same logic holds true for being American. If he wants to compliment someone, he'll call them an American.


Another girl, slightly older than me, who I felt fond of. I did not meet her until my Providence Middle days.  We were next-door neighbors for a while. She hung out with me at the nearby School Bus Stop.  She was a good girl.
[another quote]
{{quote|I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a good American.|Chris, [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|not feeling sorry for a damn thing]].}}


===Laura Beth Dorazio===
blah blah write more about how Chris fails at 9/11


I did not meet her until my Freshman Year at Manchester High (she was a Cheerleader then); she was two grades ahead of me, and apparently she went to Providence Middle and was in the same class as me during my time, but she advanced to High School about 7th Grade.  She was a pretty girl; I had a crush on her that one year.
Other miscellaneous things I found but am too tired to babble about at the moment:


===[[Kellie Lyn Andes]]===
- Chris bolded the word 'patriotic' on his [[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)|harmonized version of the ED page]].


Kellie was my High School Sweetheart (in my point of view).  She was a pretty, sweet and smart girl in my class. We shared a number of classes together.  After graduation, I kept touch with her for a while, then that touch got lost.  Last I heard from a possibly hers MySpace page, she later got married and now has three children. If I could go back, I would date her and then some. I HAD TO BE NAIVE ON THE DATING SUBJECT BACK THEN!!!
- Chris wrote: "Sonichu is not necessarily a symbol of America, but he, and all the Electric-Hedgehogs are Patriotic to the United States." in response to the "Sonichu American Gothic" in [[Mailbag 3]]. Really? ALL members of the Electric-Hedgehog species, including the villians, are patriotic to the United States? Do any Sonichus live in Australia? Would they also be true American patriots? Wow. If only we could ask that question in the mailbag.


===[[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]===
- Chris wrote, regarding joining the [[Navy]] and getting [[semen]] on his [[dirty, crapped briefs|poop deck]]: "I have considered it before, and due to my Autism, I am not qualified. Plus, a LOT of women feel depression when their boys are off in the Army, and their patience wears thin often. I SHOULD KNOW, My Mothers HATES TO BE MARRIED TO AN ARMY DUDE Because of that STRESS." I dunno, maybe we could get something outta this.


She was a good girl and a good friend to me back in Manchester High.  We shared a few classes, and sat at the same lunch table one year or two.  She had a spot of a tomboy in her, and reminded me of Peppermint Patty. She danced with me at the Seinor Prom, and I look forward to returning the favor at the Class Reunion.
- In Mumble 7, Chris told a "patriotic" joke that was racist towards Mexicans. Unfortunately that part hasn't been transcribed yet.


===Sarah Anne Bevel===
- Chris also tried to sing patriotic songs in Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day.


Another good girl of my class; shared classes and a lunch table.  Not a moment flew by where I did not see her with her M.H.S. Sweetheart, Brian Smart (Lucky Dude).  Last I heard, they broke up years ago now.
- Babble about how [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit]] influenced Chris' views on what constitutes a good American.


===Molly Quarles===
- etc.
 
She was funny, sweet and possibly a bit quirky.  We shared a few classes, and she was a cheerleader the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio during my Freshman Year, yet Molly was a Freshman too back then.  Two years in a dating match-up thing they had every Valentines Day at M.H.S., I got matched up with Molly.  The ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then.
 
===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
 
A pretty girl, and was a big brain of my Circle of Friends.  We shared a few classes; she was in my Class as well.  She helped me in the early days of my Website Days by redesigning the "CWC's Pok'eSite 2!" Logo; she did a great job.
 
===[[Anna McLerran]]===
 
I met Anna while she was working at a PacSun in Fashion Square during my young adult years and the early days of my Sweetheart Search.  She was a good and honest woman.  It made me sad when much later she and her family moved to Utah.  I later learned she was a Lesbian, and I do not hold that against her at all.
 
===[[Megan Schroeder]]===
 
She and I were good friends for years when I was going to the Pok'emon TCG League and the Yu-Gi-Oh Tournaments.  I was hoping she and I would become Sweethearts, but I got too close; freaked her out a bit and eventually lost her.  I still miss her sometimes.
 
===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
 
About during the time I was having an online relationship with one Blanca Weiss (Later learned she was a Troll), I met Sarah Jackson online.  She was a good woman with sound advice and wisdom.  She respected and understood me.  Unfortunately, she got into an automobile accident and passed on.
 
===[[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]], A.K.A. PandaHalo===
 
She was a true and good Sonichu Girl (Fan); in further conversations long after I ended it with "Blanca", Sarah and I established an online relationship, and it was good.  Sadly, she would get raped by the troll, "Clyde Cash" and stolen from me with their fated child.  For over a year, I had thought she fell victim of the Australian Bushfires of Janurary, 2009, and I mourned over her and kept her in my heart.  I recently learned that she was still alive, married to Clyde and with healthy child.  Even though my memorial dedications were apparently a loss, I wish Sarah and Clyde many happy years in their marriage.
 
===[[Ivy O'Neil]]===
 
Another online romance, but better... with Telephone Conversations.  Ivy and I were entwined within our relationship for about 3 months; it was good.  Then later on, when I was talking to a detective on the case of finding my Trolls and seeing justice done unto them, he looked into Ivy and her family; found NOTHING on them, even her father who was a Police Officer.  Then in a mental quandary and confusion, I stopped talking to Ivy for a few months.  She called me one last time after the time; I still felt confused.  Then I hear from Vivian that Ivy committed suicide by hanging.
 
===[[Kacey Devoria]]===
 
As I was in the online combat for my own identity against the Brown-Stripe-Wearing "Christian Chandler", I found my way into his e-mail account.  There I found the e-mail of his girlfriend, Kacey.  I felt I had to warn her about "Christian" lying to her about who he was.  It got complicated as I pretended to be him, so I could show Kacey my face, the Real Face of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of Ruckersville, VA, and Original Creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]].  Eventually, we would be good friends.  Then with more complications, and "Christian"'s charm, she dumped me as a friend and got married to him.  At least she has MET and was FRIENDS with the Real [[Christian Weston Chandler]].
 
===[[The Wallflower]]===
 
She and I had met in person at a Local Event in Charlottesville, VA.  We started going out and were getting along together.  We had plans on writing on a book together.  But I made a huge honest mistake.  To begin a small hype with the fans of her online FanFictions about our "Guardian of the Owl Kingdom", I started work on a level for LittleBiGPlanet.  I uploaded a Foretaste Version of the level, stating that it was a "Chris Chan/Damien Anteria Production".  Being Well-Aware of the Online Safety, I had thought she would be safe with me using her Pen Name; I HAD NEVER USED HER REAL NAME.  But then my Trolls searched and found HER Facebook Page.  The Trolls made a mockery page on their website about her; started harassing her and her family by pretending to be me on the telephone.  Heather broke up our friendship, flat-out.  If she did not have a Facebook Page, she would have been safe.  But I have learned from my mistakes there.
 
''Chris used the wallflower's real name as the title of this section.  We have changed it to "The Wallflower" as she has requested that we not reveal her identity.''

Revision as of 22:42, 18 April 2010

This is what Chris actually belie... no wait.
This is what Chris actually believes.
“ Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here! ”
Red Letter CWC Certified Day

Of all the things Chris fails at, you would think Patriotism wouldn't be one of them. Sadly, you would be wrong.

The United States and Chris

In truth, Chris is quite blessed to be an American. In almost any other non-western country in the world he would have been shot or put to work as menial labour. How good the US is compared to other nations is a debate that will rage on forever, but in the States Chris is guaranteed the same basic rights guaranteed all Americans, as well as a few perks such as his monthly tugboat.

Chris on Patriotism

“ Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him. ”
Sonichu, delivering the Clarksville Address

As Chris likes to point out, he is American. This doesn't make him special, considering there are 300 million people who can make the same claim, he also likes to point out how he is a "true American". His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to mock national tragedies and complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs. If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" make him out to be even less of one in the eyes of the trolls.

Chris treats patriotism (love of one's country) the same as he does with every other 'love' in his life; lip service and mindless devotion without criticism. Further, much as with other things, Chris believes that by one thing simply existing as a part of something, it will automatically inherit all other parts of that thing. Sonic the Hedgehog is a good character, therefore everything that features Sonic the Hedgehog (even terrible, terrible computer games such as the universally panned Sonic Revolution) must automatically be good. To whit:

{{quote|00:18 <@cogsdev> What do you think about Yahtzee's insulting review of Sonic Unleashed?|Cogs, in [[IRC_(18_December_2008)}} {{quote|00:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> if it's against Sonic, I would not read it at all.|Chris, displaying blind obedience in [[IRC_(18_December_2008)}}

Chris takes the same attitude towards America. CWCVille is inside Virginia, which is inside America. CWCVille is a thing to be loved and never questioned, therefore America is a thing to be loved and never questioned; this is especially true since him being American is part of his identity, which means any attacks on America are attacks on him personally. In Do_Not_Dis_C_Ville, Chris said that any mocking of him, Sonichu, Rosechu or his personal dictatorial hellhole was, in fact, mocking Charlottesville, Virginia and all who dwell there. In that same video, Chris pointed out that he started with a red, white and blue shirt, which was a further display of his patriotism (or, more likely, a co-incidence he turned into a huge retcon).

Chris and Being American

“ [speaking about Liquid Chris]

Dad: I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this? Chris: I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual... Dad: Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American. Chris: I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

”
Chris, in the Father Call.

Chris has a warped view of what constitutes a good American. Chris countered Kacey's father's assertion that Liquid Chris was an upstanding young man by spluttering about having never left America. In Chris' mind, being called an American is the opposite of being called a niggo; it's just a generic word used to compliment someone. He had no problems calling Surfshack Tito a 'nigger' to his face, even with absolutely no evidence that Tito was any particular race at all. Presumably, the same logic holds true for being American. If he wants to compliment someone, he'll call them an American.

[another quote]

“ I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a good American. ”
Chris, not feeling sorry for a damn thing.

blah blah write more about how Chris fails at 9/11

Other miscellaneous things I found but am too tired to babble about at the moment:

- Chris bolded the word 'patriotic' on his harmonized version of the ED page.

- Chris wrote: "Sonichu is not necessarily a symbol of America, but he, and all the Electric-Hedgehogs are Patriotic to the United States." in response to the "Sonichu American Gothic" in Mailbag 3. Really? ALL members of the Electric-Hedgehog species, including the villians, are patriotic to the United States? Do any Sonichus live in Australia? Would they also be true American patriots? Wow. If only we could ask that question in the mailbag.

- Chris wrote, regarding joining the Navy and getting semen on his poop deck: "I have considered it before, and due to my Autism, I am not qualified. Plus, a LOT of women feel depression when their boys are off in the Army, and their patience wears thin often. I SHOULD KNOW, My Mothers HATES TO BE MARRIED TO AN ARMY DUDE Because of that STRESS." I dunno, maybe we could get something outta this.

- In Mumble 7, Chris told a "patriotic" joke that was racist towards Mexicans. Unfortunately that part hasn't been transcribed yet.

- Chris also tried to sing patriotic songs in Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day.

- Babble about how The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit influenced Chris' views on what constitutes a good American.

- etc.

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