Chris-chan Discusses...

Chris-chan Discusses... is a series of video interviews between Guru Larry of ScrewAttack Europe (a website dedicated to video game news) and the Internet's favorite autistic manchild, Christian Weston Chandler. Guru Larry is the second big name fan of CWC, after animator Harry Partridge.

While a normal person would see Larry is clearly insulting Chris to his face, Chris's autism prevented him from comprehending Larry's blatant sarcasm. The only thing Chris picked up on was that Larry was using the Bulk and Skull theme from Power Rangers, which has negative connotations.

This is actually the second time Chris has ever given a public interview.

Preview

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“

Yep. Hello.

”

Transcript

SAE: Hello, and welcome to my very first interview with various people… from the Internet! And with me tonight, we have Christian Weston Chandler… uh, best known on the Internet for-- creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon!

SAE: Hello there, Christian.

Chris: Yep. Hello.

SAE: So… yes. Good.

Chris-chan Discusses... Billy Mays

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“

I'm still the mayor of Cwcville. There is no elections.

”

Transcript

"I'm damn straight!"

Chris: (fading in)...you know, I read in de uh- read in the announcement video about Billy's Mays- about uh, well I quoted Wikipedia about Billy's cause of death which was basically something like a heart attack.

SAE: Yeah.

Chris: And I was in Red Oak the whole weekend.

SAE: You do know he was involved in a plane crash the day before as well?

Chris:...oh...yeah I s'pose that would put a lot of stress and to, uh, futher induce the heart attack, yeah.

SAE: So yeah so it could be- You wa- you wu- you weren't flying the plane, we'll get that straight, were you flying the plane?

Chris: Yeah, I was not- yeah I was not flyin' da plane I was in Red Oak with my mother and my relatives.

SAE: Okay...So yes, so you've got no ulterior motives to-

Chris: I have no ulterior motives, oh and in fact- I forgot to say this in the video but uhh, I often confuse Billy Mays with with Richard Karn from Home Improvement, 'cause they both look and act- both looked, acted, and sounded alike.

SAE: You mean they're both fat and got a beard?

Chris: Uhh...no, I've been talm 'bout, you know, aside from the beard like you know the other facial features, and the voice...I just often confused uh Billy with Richard Karn.

SAE: Yeah I often confuse people with fictional characters as well so...It's n- it's quite easy to do...so-

Chris: Yeah.

SAE: So what do you think of the people calling for Adam Stackhouse to be the new mayor of CWCville as well?

Chris: Uhh, no no no no, I'm still the mayor of CWCville there is no elections. I mean that's just a whole bunch of uh rumors on the internet that trolls are uh just talking amongst themselves...uhh, just, do not believe anything that comes from the trolls, it's all just a bunch of rumor- it's all just a bunch of false rumors and lies.

SAE: Uh, is uh, are you gonna be announcing Billy Mays' death in your comic as well or anything or...?

Chris: Uhh...Ohh yeah well let me just uh- I mean, I've already uploaded a video onto youtube too but let me just say that once again I never- HE never was the mayor of CWCville, when I made that statement on a YouTube I was blackmailed into doing dat by uhh, the uh quote unquote "Julie's brother" that little 13 year old brat so I was lying out of my ass when I said that.

SAE: Ah. Yes. If I could a-

Chris: I- SO I BIN- So I've always been the mayor of CWCville and I still am, there's no question about it.

SAE: Ah. Now it was quite (Chris coughs) it was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not because we couldn't see if you were holding an Optimus Prime...I saw...so, uh, so if it was on video we would known you was lying.

Chris: (Unnecessarily forced cough) Uh, yeah, well I was lying out my ass when I said tha- when I said that I was a..."homosexual"...lyin' out my ass when I said that bun everybody knows I'm damn straight.

SAE: Yes of course, you're indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.

Chris:Yeah...thank you.

SAE: You're welcome.

Chris-chan Discusses... Spax3 & Jason Griffith

Note: For anyone wondering who Spax3 (real name: Alexander/Edison Prins-Stairs) is, the best way to describe him is if ED was an olympic sport, Spax would have the Silver medal to Chris's Gold. I.E. He's the second most trolled person on the wiki and is just as deserving as Chris.

Other note: Up until Larry informs him otherwise, Chris is under the impression that Spax3 is a new character in an upcoming Sonic game. How he came to this conclusion is unknown. You are welcome to speculate, though.

Jason Griffith is Spax's equivalent of the Man in the Pickle Suit.

• ED article on Spax3.

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Transcript

SAE: Yes.. also, uhh.. ano- another thing a lot of people have been asking me to te- ask this. Uh, what do you think of the voice actors for Sonic the Hedgehog? [Pause] I mean there's- I must say there's- there's somebody out there on the internet who's uh, very opposed to, uh, Jason Griffith. Uh, doing the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you think about that? You bothered with the voice?

Chris: Mmm... Y- I pretty much like the- uh, original voice they've been going with this whole time. Uhh... changing it, uhh... would be uh, I don't know- I don't know if it- well it depends, I would have to compare the new voice and compare it to the old voice to - um, make an opinion. Although I will say this. In comparison to the animated series, y'know, where they had the- uh, kid who was Urkel originally voicing Sonic the Hedgehog... versus uh... what- who they have for Sonic X and the video games... uhh.. I'd say- I'd say the newer voi- I'd say the newer guy does it much better.

SAE: Ah.. No. There's uh- There's uh, two guys doi- uh, there was the guy doing it in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Heroes, it was a guy called Ryan Drummond. And they- uh, they fired him because he couldn't make it to New York. They hired this guy called Jason Griffith, and they uh-

Chris: [Speaking Over] Oh that's too bad.

SAE: So yes. So yeah, basically, uh, everything you hear now is Jason Griffith, and I was just wondering if you thought- y'know- If you notice any difference?

Chris: Hmmm. I didn't really notice a difference.

SAE: Oh that's good. So you- yeah. So... you reckon that someone made uh- started making... per- petitions to uh, have him fired and that, is a bit over the top?

Chris: Hmm.

SAE: I mean, would y- would you say that's going a bit far or...

Chris: Uhhhmm... yeah, probably. Sounds like it was going a bit far, yeah.

SAE: Oh that's good. So yes. So th- It's a- It's a guy called, uh, Spax3. Have you ever heard of him?

[Chris rolls his eyes to one side, in noticeable surprise. Is he hiding something?]

Chris: Uhhnn... I'm sorry... uhh... Dax3?

SAE: SPAX! [Spells it out] S-P-A-X, three...

Chris: Oh! Spax... uhh... no, I've never heard of that one.

SAE: Ah. Yes, it's a guy, yes. He uhm, he uh... he actually has fantasies about Cream the Rabbit as well, don't know if you know about that.

[Chris opens his eyes wide in shock, possibly embarrassment. "I thought I was the only one who had those!"]

Chris: Ohhh...[pause]...oh... huh.[another pause] Uhm, is this- is this like a villain character, this Spax?

SAE: [Speaking over] No! No, no! He's a- He's a real person. He's a real person. Uh, he- uh, he- uh, doesn't like people saying that. That, he- uh... likes... rabbits. He gets very upset about it. Yeah, he says he has uhh... y'know, there's a big thing on- loads of trolls on ED who want to keep saying that he likes having sex with a rabbit.

Chris: Huh...

SAE: He wants to have sex with a six-year old rabbit. So. So, do you- do you find that disgusting at all?

Chris: Mmm... Well, that's his decision but I personally do not promote bestiality, as a matter of fact, I'm against it, and the bible is against it, so uh... I- Y'know uhh... he has his opinions, and he has his rights to his own opinions but personally, I'm against it.

SAE: Even if they're half-human?

Chris: [Pause] Uh... even if...?

SAE: I mean, 'cause they're like, Sonic the Hedgehog, he's- he's sort of half-human, he's not like a proper hedgehog, he's like half-human. He's got two legs and stuff, so.. does that SORT OF count?

Chris: Uhhmm... uhhh... I don't there is, uhh... any hu- any half-human there... uhh...

[Long awkward pause. Chris strokes chin in confusion]

Chris: Yeah, I'd still say he's uh... ALL-ANIMAL. I'd still say they're all-animals. They just been given-uh... human form... it's not necessarily making them "half-human".

SAE: No. So, so- uhhh... So you wouldn't say there's any human in Sonichu or anything, either then? When he's, uh, completely a Hedgehog Pokémon. Or there's no, other way 'round it... even though he stands on two legs?

Chris: [Pause]... yeah.

Chris-chan Discusses... Little Big Planet

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Transcript

SAE: Right, so, uh, we're gonna be talking about E3 today, so, uh, what about- Start again from the overall thing, what's your overall opinion of the uh, video games on there this year. What do you think of them?

Chris: Oh yeah, I like the games, they're very good. I personally interested in the uh, y'know, God of War 3 and uh, the PSP version of Little Big Planet.

SAE: Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And what do you- What do you think of the PSP Go, is that something you might be buying, or...

Chris: Yeah, I might buys that for myself, but I would be keeping my PSP 2000 as well.

SAE: Oh, yeah, so-

Chris: Cause, y'know, I have a bunch of UMD games...

SAE: No, you don't wanna get rid of that just yet.

Chris: Yeah.

SAE: You're not being tempted to modify it or anything, so you could play copied games on it, from the hard dr- the Memory Card?

Chris: Yeah.

SAE: Oh, That's good.

Chris: Yeah, let me talk about Little Big Planet PSP for a bit

SAE: Alright.

Chris: Yeah, ak- as you know, uh, yeah, some features I'd like to see, for the PSP version. I'd like to have it, uh, where I can sync up with the pee- with the original PS3 version, and, uh, copy the, uh, stickers and costumes and objects, that, uh, originated from the PS3 version, as well as the downloadable content...

SAE: Mm.

Chris: Cause I'm sure a lot of us would love to be able to play the uh, play in the spaceman suit that we, uh, got, uh, at the, uh, release of Little Big Planet, or even as Kratos or Nariko.

SAE: (tried to say something, but Chris cuts in, assuming his "Look darling, it's trying to think like a human being!" pose)

Chris: And uh, an-a-nd also another thing question, I mean uh, whatever happened to the uh, Real Media Molecule... Ibuh the Rare Mol- Media Molecule shirt that they talked about at the beginning? It never came out! (my guess is they don't stock it in XXXL, Chris)

SAE: Oh. Have you tried contertactiong them about it? Or anything? Or...

Chris: (licks lips) Yeah, I tried tal- I tried contacting them about that, uh, haven't got a response yet.

SAE: You'd think they'd- You'd think they'd contact you, I mean, they did favorite one of your videos once didn't they, I mean, you are one of their stars, after all.

Chris: Ohkay yeah.

(cuts)

Chris: It's just, y'know, I think, uh, couple of, I think uh, I'd like to address a couple more Little Big Planet issues.

SAE: Okay.

Chris: Yeah, let's see, we talked about linki- linking up with- between the PSP and PS3 versions...

SAE: (mimics being choked to death, which is exactly what the viewer is doing)

Chris: - With the copying the costumes and the stickers and all that...

SAE: (plays dead)

Chris: Mmmm... See, it's like... Expandable memory usage, for like, y'know, y'know, people are just gonna continue collecting the objects from the custom levels...

SAE: (regains his composure)

Chris: And uh, creating their own levels, but it's like, y'know, you keep on go- you keep on creating and collecting and like, you g- it's not- it's- you collect too much, and then uh, you won't be able to save your profile. Uh, on your, on your, on your hard drive. I'd like to see, like, y'know, like expandable memory, like, y'know uh, it, like, it grows as you collect, the memory?

SAE: Yeah.

Chris: Yeah, so, yeah, I'd like to see that. And, uh, also, another thing I'd like to see - a soundtrack to uh, music on Little Big Planet, cause it's good music.

SAE: I think it's all licensed and it'd be pretty hard to-

Chris: (cuts in) PRETTY GOOD MUSIC I'D LIKE TO, UH, S-

SAE: Yeah, a lot of it is licensed, that might be a bit hard.

Chris: Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, especially uh, also the uh... Heh. I mean, like, y'know, I guess, y'know, people probably pirate the uh, one song that put the game in the question that delayed it's release by a week or two. Remember that?

SAE: Oh. Yeah, it actually got released in Britain with that... My copy had it on.

Chris: ... (envious stare, weak "heh")

SAE: It's actually on the disc- It's actually, the song is actually on the disc, but they released a patch to remove it.

Chris: Yeah. I've heard about that, yeah.

SAE: So if you got rid of that patch... If you got rid of that patch you could actually listen to it.

Chris: Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard- I've heard about that, but... Still, I mean, like, y'know, game soundtrack would be good. Yeah, even, like, y'know, if they released it in the Playstation Store, like they did with soundtrack to, uh, Pixeljunk Monsters.

SAE: Yeah.

Chris: And then put that up for sale, yeah, I would, uh, definitely pay, like, ten-twelve bucks to, uh, download those tracks.

SAE: That much, eh? So yeah. So what would you...

Chris: Yeah.

SAE: What would you like to have included into Little Big Planet in future. I mean, what sort of, uh, characters and designs and stuff?

Chris: Yeah, I- I mean, like, y'know, I liked what they're doing about the uh- What they talked about at E3, uh, doing Disney characters? But I'd like to see... Transformers. Like, y'know, Me- like for y'know, Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Starscream and Megatron or even, like, Soundwave from Generation 1, that'd be cool.

SAE: Yes. I AGREE.

Chris: (eyes rolled into the back of his head, completely spaced out into transformerland) Make it even, like, y'know,two sets of costumes, y'know, one from Generation 1 and one for the movie.

SAE: Hm.

Chris: And a whole buncha stickers!

SAE: Ah.

Chris: That- That'd be awesome.

SAE: Yes, it would be then, yes.

Chris-chan Discusses... Transformers

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Transcript

SAE: What do you play online at the moment, apart from life? Playstation home, I mean.

Chris: Mmm... yeah, yeah probably.

SAE: OK. Um. No, I mean what are you into at the moment in online gaming, I mean what sort of games do you play?

Chris: Um, like online, uh, I like playing Little Big Planet online, uh, among other game titles, I can't remember the names of them. I can't remember the names at the moment.

SAE: Ok.

Chris: That's that would be uh, that's a lot for me to think about though, yeah.

SAE: Ok uh, did you buy Ghostbusters as well?

Chris: Uh no I didn't get that yet, but yeah but I like what I've seen so far, if they release a demo then I would download that...

SAE: Yeah.

Chris: If I don't buy the game first...

SAE: So what was the last game you bought?

Chris: Uh, yeah, last game I bought... which one was that [coughs a bit] yeah I bought the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen video game, that was pretty good.

SAE: That's good.

Chris: Yeah I like and I've seen and I saw the movie last Wednesday and I thought it was awesome. I don't care what the critics- how the critics put it down... I thought it was a very fun movie and it did have a good story to it and I enjoyed the story.

SAE: That's good. Yes there's enough--

Chris: I mean you know, critics will be critics... I mean like you know some of 'em get paid to praise it and some of 'em get paid to haze it, and you know I just think like you know in general I don't care for those who haze it. I mean, I mean like you know, Transformers has been uh ve-, has been uh very good and they have their own history, especially in generation one, you know in generation one they had some humor, and uh, whatnot, in uh, in the characters and in the story, so I'm thinking so I'm feeling like uh the uh movie is very much following that theme and I think I think Michael Bay is doing a good job with that.

SAE: So yes, Optimus Prime did die in the second one then?

Chris: Yeah, he died but yeah [clears throat] but they brought him back to life shortly enough they made sure he's the leadership.

SAE: Yeah, that's good because you don't want any kids to lock themselves in their rooms for several days, and all that...

Chris: Yeah, yeah, especially like you know in the generation one, they brought him back to life episodes later in the two part episode.

SAE: Yeah.

Chris: [Fake sounding cough] excuse me. I got a frog in my throat! He's using my tonsils for a lily pad!

SAE: Oh dear! So yes...

Chris: It's a little joke I picked up from Red Skelton.

SAE: He is indeed a master of comedy!

Chris: Yep! Very funny man.

SAE: Yes.

Chris: And a good human being as well.

SAE: Oh, that's good.

[Video Break]

SAE: So yes. What's with that bruise on your head as well, how did you get that?

Chris: Bruise on my head?

SAE: Yeah, you got a cut on top of your head there, the other side, the other side, the other side, yeah.

Chris: Oh, it's just uh, it's just a bug bite.

SAE: Ah, ok. I thought we had a bit of a ruckus at the wedding or something.

Chris: No, no, did not have a ruckus at the wedding. It was a nice wedding.

SAE: Oh I see.