Son-Chu Review
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Son-Chu Review is a video released by Chris on 2 April 2017. It is a showcase of Son-Chu and other disfigured toys. The purpose was to promote his latest business venture of selling stamps - the Son-Chu figure was announced as a prize in a raffle, which people could enter by purchasing one of Bob's stamps or Chris's $1,000 album on eBay. It failed to increase Chris's sales. A full five days after the video was released, he got $0.
This video is agonizingly long, clocking in at just over 48 minutes. Even if a person were to be legitimately interested in winning Chris's repainted transformer, it is highly unlikely that they would sit through nearly an hour of superfluous displays and incoherent roleplay.
It is worth noting that Chris appears to be straining his voice in in order to have a higher pitch, probably an attempt to make himself seem more feminine. When depicting the voice of a male character in the video, such as Sonichu, Chris reverts back to his regular voice instead of deepening it. This solidifies the idea that Chris is making a conscious effort to change the pitch of his regular voice, as he portrays male characters with his old, "manly" voice. This shift in pitch to Chris's voice causes his already warped vocals to sound worse, and thus harder to understand.
As per usual, Chris disabled ratings on the video, though he didn't disable comments until a good while after it was uploaded.
Notable mentions include scenes at 16:50 (Chris talks in a Butch lesbian voice) and 18:45 (he gets a little too excited attacking a cop car).
Arthur Spatchcock himself helped in trascription.
Video
| Son-Chu Review | |
| Direct link | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 2 April 2017 |
| Subject Matter |  Marketing
|
| Performance Style |  Crazy
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| Saga |  Business
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| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous A little Fluttershy singing (imitation) |
next Sonic Totem and More |
| “ | If you wanna hate me, for not being perfect, then, you haters are stupid | ” |
| Son-Chu | ||
Description
Something New from the Sonichu and Rosechu world finally able to be made, (Autobot) Son-Chu (formerly a Ford Escort station wagon, now a 2010 Ford Focus car). Fully Painted, customized and all that, and Personally/Officially Dubbed the Official Son-Chu Figure on March 17, 2017. Sanju!!!
-Buy the Stamp Covers, and the highly-sentimental book of mine, on my ebay shop, here... [1] -CWC Skylander Figure and Card Review Video... [2] -emgo316's Channel... [3] SHAREfactory™[4] |
Transcript
[opens with stock footage showing blenders and two starbursts saying "SPECIAL OFFER!!" on a blue background]
[cut to one starburst on the same background saying, "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!"]
[stamp album lies open on table, Skylander T-shirt is used as a backdrop]
Chris: [in a weird high pitched voice] This video is brought to you by the stamps on Christine Chandler's Ebay Shop. From Mr. C's clam- stamp collection of her late father you are eligible to buy among which any purchase up to the date of April 31st win themselves an automatic entry to win the toy featured in this video.
There will be two available: one for random drawing, and one for the automatic winner that buys the stamp album in said shop [gasps] that come with all the prizes that I stated in that... that description. Not only do they get this toy but they also get [reaches behind self] they also get the Skylander self, Skylander figure and the self Skylander card that is completely functional on Skylanders Imaginators for the leading console playing Nintendo Switch. [removes figure and card] And now, on with our show.
[Scene change; Sonichu enters from left into a scene in which Son-chu stands in the background]
Sonichu: [voiced by Chris] Hmm, wow... my autobot friend got promoted.
[Rosechu enters from right]
Sonichu: Whaddya think of that, Rosie?
Rosechu: [voiced by Chris] I think he looks neat.
Sonichu: I tell you one thing: I knew when he was an escort... and now he has a lot more to 'Focus' on.
Rosechu: Ford.
[Chris laughs as Rosechu and Sonichu]
Sonichu: Automobile joke! Autobots rollout.
[both Sonichu and Rosechu 'zip' off screen]
1:55: Not-title card
[Chris does another breakaway and comes back with a hand drawn sign saying:]
- Иot
- The Freakin Geek Reviews
- homage parody of Emgo316's title card; apologies offered. Emgo makes Awesome skits [backwards k] and great reviews.
[Chris is providing his own background music.]
Chris: [sings] Bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bababump bump bum bum ba bum bum, na naaaa!
2:20: Packaging and history
[After a shitter transition, Chris once again has his Skylanders shirt as a backdrop. His 'Son-chu' Transformer backdrop is leaning against it and his custom car is front and center. Chris is speaking in a high-pitched, hard-to-hear girly/goofball voice.]
Chris: Hey Youtube fans whassup it's Christine Chandler comin' ta you live from home once again, not Emgo316, and today we'll be reviewing the latest ander finally made into a toy figure 3D world, from the comic book world, Autobot Som-Chu!
So here we are and dere he is and first and foremost we'll take a quick look [brings backdrop forward] at thuh packaging see right here on the front, [mumbles, loses control of camera before picking it up] as you can see, right here on the front you can see piece of artwork and the artwork is my work on the plate SONICHU~! because he is from the city of CWCville Virginia and on the front is autobot SON-CHU~! and SON-CHI~! [unintelligable autism] Titans; and on the side of the package, you have that same piece of artwork; on the bottom WORDS~! Lotsa lotsa words and on thuh back of the package you have your obligatory product shots, you got this and that this and that; WARNING~! Not-- DON'T DO THIS DON'T DO THAT don't feed the bear! The vehicle mode [unintelligible] Headmaster, he's a robot, and [unintelligible] having a big gun and a shield~ And look at this he becomes a soundstage for when you wanna do a concert and if you can read that [you can't; it's out of focus] he has a brief bio. Zip-de-doo, I'll copy and paste the bio out that in the description later; that's basically it FORE the packa-GING!
He also come with a [unintelligible] collector's card with that same piece of artwork [flips card] and tech specs for both Autob-, for both Son-Chu and Son-Chi if you care er about them. Hurray for card [Throws it across room.]
Nyah, whatever. Oh it's like a pretty to look at. It has artwork. Talk a little bit bout SON-CHU~! I will make the joke that was the beginning more understandable if you get it. [Pulls out sonichu pic] So years ago at Transformers dot com I had designed my own Autobot, the place, so that was the first Son-Chu Autobot during the era of the Arhmada. Lookit that face, LOOKIT DAT FACE~! Eh look at how big he got built during the movie gap not as good as what we ended with four-a few years later [flips picture over] [mumble] dot com I like this face better its better looking face and he's from the Cybertron Era so between those, between those and my car that's how we end up [Brings out Sonichu Son-Chu] with Point O robot of Autobot Son-Chu!
And by the way that's pronounced like the Chinese word Sonju so when you shout SON-Chu! you're saying VICTORY~! Victory for CWCville~! And the Autobots, and the Samurai Pizza bots they were known quase in CWCville and he was originally a Ford Escort station wagon. Its roof, right there [point thumb to poorly drawn station wagon and then to Son-Chu] becomes the shield, and the hood of the car...becomes the gun. And then, a few years later, we got new robot mode because he b'came Ford Escort...n-no Ford Focus, Escort, Focus, Focus, Escort, it was an Escort and I had more to Focus on [fake laughs at own joke].
5:54: Car mode, Headmaster and lion
[Bad cutaway]
Chris: And now we've got a vehicle mode from -- officially from Hasbro that matches the Ford Focus fairly well...uh would say, you could call it a bold -- same mold, uh Rundown and Breakdown, but you know what, [higher pitch] I answer that request[?], [more normal pitch] he's got a spoiler that's one big difference. Thats one big difference. [Shows cars ass] And all the custom paint and license plate Son-ch-Sonichu! [Flips it to the front end] Just like that license plate still...c'mon, back [[[stress sigh]]] Wauto-focus! Sony! You need to auto focus this camera [Flips car to bottom] and on the bottom you'll see later that he's got uh...Son-Chu license plate on the other side front side as well. Oh look, the windows in the tinted red, and we got uh, so obj-- obviously he was originally Breakaway, but he does come with a few pieces that we're gonna get into, he includes his Titan Master Mr. TiTONY~! AutoBot Son-Chi! With a paint-- custom painted face... painted his hands, his hands, lookhishands, nyoo nyoo. Camera. Fix the camera Sony, make it so it's not Mirroring~! And I painted his legs and of course [Has flipped the little robot into the head] Who has upside down face?
Dumb Robot: I do~! I do how you doin'? I'm upside down. I'm gettin' dizzy.
Chris: And actually has two Titan Masters, because he's got one for-- that goes behind his shield, get to that in a moment. Here is other Titan Master, little tiny, we call him Mark 1, and you'll get to see why in just a moment. As usual it's something that has got the wibbly-wobbly head; their arms can either got partway or up and down, and these legs [makes Mark 1 dance] doo-de-doo-de-doo-de-doo, woop woop woop, and upside down face and right there we can see what he's called Mark 1? Rewind a bit you'll get the joke. So that's-You get two Titan masters with that and acourse you incorporate the main one, little Son-Chi into the car itself [Knocks over the Mark 1 bot]
Son-Chi: I knocked him over sorry about that. I'm SORRY! We'll get you back up shortly. [Is then molested by Chris to 'sit']
Chris: And you bend his legs, you put him in the drivers seat, and of course that's the only way [points to raised windows] I can the thing to come up is ta pop the arms apart.
And then we move onto the next part that's included: [Annoying voice] DIS LITTLE LION DIS LITTLE BLUE LION actually comes wif a one of those titan masters ACESSORIES~! That Transform into other things, got all that blue paint all over him, he still has some silver, he's got black, yellow, leftover behind...so anyway you incorporate the titan, the Mark 1 [molests robot] come on Titan Master, put him in de back of his head [Inserts poor robot into lions head] get the lion there get the picture once more [Goes to retrieve Son-Chu picture] Lookit the original Son-Chu's drawing. He has a shield. Because when he transforms from vehicle to car roof here [Points to station wagon roof] its pops of...becomes the shield. I wanted to keep the shield so, Hashbro, thank you for the shield...just had to give it a little recolor. And before we change into the shield for comparison [introduces duplicate of lion] here he is with Sawback, the original Titan Master vehicle, lookit all that yellow and blue, yellow blue...
[Autism ensues as he makes them growl at one another. Have a growling match and Sawback runs off, yipping like a dog despite being a lion...then laughs at how funny he is]
Alright so what you want to do [gets to molesting the lion robot] is you wanna take these parts and move em forward [transforming] pull his legs forward, tilt head back [Transforming] I'm not gonna do-THis is the weapon mode but I'm not doing the vehicle mode. [Transformed] Anyway that's how you get the shield that's THE SHIELD~! If I had a perfect way, like it was my sister, I'd put him on top of the roof, he could ride along up there, but for the most, put the lion up there [Puts next to car] Duh duh, duh duh duh~...it can run along, aside...her. [pantomines running by slapping the lion against the table a few times] Badup badup badup badup, blup blup blup blup. Or fun one I figgered out [stands lion on top of car] thank you spoilers lookit that. [Makes more car noises as he pushes car back and forth] Obviously he can't stay up there [Flips car, throws lion off] Sorry bout that.
[Picks up lion, outs face in camera lens.]
11:26: Pipes
Lion: Hey 3D! [Growls]
Chris: Is this thing 3D compatible? With my mouth closeup to the camera it looks like he's popping out of the monitor.
Lion: [Autistic growling] I got a mission.
Chris: You can go back. So moving right along, he's got a couple other -- he's got a few other accessories. Like, he includes these two pairs of pipes that came off one of the other parts that had to be required to put this thing together, 'cause it took most -- it took more than one figure to put it the way I wanted it together so anyway you incorporate these to make it look cooler by putting them -- on the side -- aaaand now it looks less like a Ford Focus cause you've got the pipes on the side. [Rolls car back and forth, mumbles.]
12:05: Guns
Chris: Badoop badoop badoo-rr, And we give him this pair of guns -- not from Chromedome or Breakaway, but they are easy to put on in the vehicle mode: just put em on there~ and you could em on the other way but then he won't roll so easily so yeah you gotta put em like that and I wanna take these-I wanna remove these for we have plenty more compar-vehicle comparisons to go with, [muttering] okay, eventually.
So~ moving right along for brief introductions of the other characters [brings in a pic of Prower] of which were inspired by actual past Autobot figures, we're bringing in Autobot Prowler of which was transfor-was inspired by transformers animated Prowl with the side car [goes high pitched] AND THATS ANOTHER THING I WANNA BRING UP if you want-wana put the Titan Masters, Headmasters in the show are supposed to be like -- match the size accurate to human. For this type of [mumble] sidecar that's perfect, but you try putting a Titan Master on a motorcycle [stupid voice] he's not gonna reach the pedals so easily lookit that [TM falls off seat and slides into sidecar] yer not gonna reach the pedals so easily if if I had a deluxe class Titan Master motorcycle lookit that lookit that [holding the titan master in the bikes seat; stupid voice again] HIS LEGS CAN't GO DOWN OR ELSE HE'd HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT [forces it face down into seat] LOOK HOW FAR AWAY THE HANDLEBARS ARE. IT'S-IT DON'T WORK. IT DON'T WORK. POOR MOTORCYCLE DELUXE CLASS. Figures. [Starts fake crying off scene]
Anyway, dadat dadat dada, [mumbling to self again] Next up from the Comic book world female autobot Excelina who was obviously definitely motorcycle respected with the hologram and made to look like a woman and all these Autobots they worked over at pizzeria they were known by the town as the Samurai Pizza Bots the Autobot team of CWCVille Virginia [Wanders off] Where'd she go? [Dumb noises, waves hand in front of camera] Gonna be a cut moment there.
14:57: Excelina and Bumba-Lumba
Chris: [Didn't actually do a cut] And now here she is [introduces female robot fap toy] with autobot Arcee crown-from Micheal Bay movie 1[?] which was unfortunately put on the cutting room floor...pretty sad. It's a pretty motorcycle pretty motorcycle...anyway, eh, lookit that! [Repositions cars, uses dumb voice again] we're moving right along, side by side [vroom vroom vroom noises, points at both cars] These two are sweethearts in CWCVille THE CITY OF CWCVILLE VIRGINIA~ deh deh, deh deh deh~ [mumbling, removes female car] then theres the third member of the CWCVille -utobot team is Bumba-Lumba green and hot flames he's not lost he's holding a bunch of PIZZA BAGELS PIZZA BAGELS PIZZA BAGELS and obviously another one from the animated series...so there's Son-Chu with the anime Bumblebee...I like leaving the rockets on there [bunch of autistic gibberish follows] rockets and bupbupbup and then bumblebee is gone. [Murmuring] Where's my drawing? Oh here it is.
16:25: Armoraxe
Chris: [Brings in last autistic bot] And uh last on the -tobot team we have Armoraxe duh uh the rocker uh the rocker of the pizzabots [gibberish] lookit the lightening bolts got on there [gibberish] and everything! [Removes picture] and inspiring that...that wsa animated Soundwave [mumbles] animated Soundwave.
16:50: Crackder
[gets a butch lesbo voice] HOW ANIMATED AM I?
If you note the Decepticon symbol pretend it's an autobot symbol he's on the same team. [Goes off screen again]
Annnnd on the-on the bad team side [Mumbles something about Count Grodoun and Slaweel Ryam] th'ey made the-transpired-transpire with the Decepticons they got a few Schematics and they made their own cept the clones are piloted by the Jerkops-robot cops whatever what have you. And first up we have Crackeder [Shows stupid picture] first of these clones of the PVCC. Lookit that lookit that jet. Jet [something] So with that inspiring that was transformers Cybertron ThunderCracker. SO he's got a look for scale if this cockpit could open a titan master could fit in ther. [Picks up jet] WHOOSH~! [Off screen] And uh, second of ducepticon on duh bad team there was [shows picture] Punislav with a really big fist he could thrown punches [makes sexual sounds] and was a jerkop car cause you can't trust da police...the police you can't trust them but they are jerkops.
18:45: Punislav and SAV
Well anyway [offscreen again, talking to self] That was movie one Barricade unfortun- fortunately these all [laugh talks] survived the house fire. But yeah Barricade was on the show but anyway.
[voice goes deep] Pull over.
[Goes autistic] NO! [Makes Son-Chu pull around in front off, rams into police car] Bastard cop. [Continues to ram police car over and over again. High pitches voice hard to make out but he rams the cop car off the table; murdering him.] Take that, Jerkop. [Laughs] Sweet Victory~! Get retribution and all that. And then the last of the decepticons [something about drawing] something else, we have the S.A.V. [shows picture] also known as the Scoundrel Ass Vessel, the ass with one s cause it's a scoundrel as a vessel and there he is the big SUV; SAV, SUV, that's a pun there, that was the pun. [Talks to self off screen again] Anyway inspiring that one that was transformers [gibberish] anyway, inspiring that that was transformers animated Swindle with the big gun so that the Jerkhiefs, the leader of jerkops would pilot the SAV and they like Megatron [something something] Jerkop's got the big gun. Vroomvroomvroom.
20:24: More comparisons
[Displays two other Transformers in vehicle mode, flanking Son-Chu] And for further comparison, here is Son-Chu with Chromedome? And Breakaway. You can see the differences besides the [?] and the coloring; I have some spoiler, better, Son-Chu, Son-Chu, wheeee, boop boop boop boop boop-a-doo. [Drives Chromedome and Breakaway around Son-Chu, then picks them up and puts them away offscreen. ] And for an activate[?], here he is with Hot Rod. [Mutters something, giggles, puts Alpha Trion on the table.] Aaaand here he is with Palpitron. [deep voice] Young warrior. Yessir. I'm catching up to you to offer you advice. Can you offer it to me later? I'm doing this video. Okay, young warrior. [Picks up P Alpha Trion, 'flies' offscreen] To infinity and beyond! Doo-doo-doo-da-da-da! [Places the toy somewhere offscreen, camera shakes a little] And, [Moves Son-Chu to the right, places down Optimus Prime truck] here he is with the car master, Optimus Prime. I am an optimist, my name is Optimus. Well, you're the leader, so you're bigger than me, obviously. I'm still an optimist, my name is Optimus. Optimist, Optimus, optimist, Optimus, optimiiiist! [Drives Optimus offscreen, moves Son-Chu back to center] [Jump cut, Son-Chu is now in mecha form] 'Scuse me for this bad egg [?], but there was one particular comparison I forgot to do before changing it into, uh, vehicle mode. [Removes Son-Chu's head and shows us how it unfolds into a minifigure] Here's autobot Son-Chu [Show us a red-and-white figure in other hand] with the original Power Master Prime's power master figure. And... [[puts Power Master away, brings out brown-and-black figure] with an actual typical headmaster. From Generation 1. He uses the [unintelligible] and this one, comes with a typical one, this one was Cap, the fire truck. So yes, we're taller than the typical, average headmaster of the past! [seems proud while saying this, hits headmaster with Son-Chu figure, it falls onto desk] So take that, Endo! Huh, so sorry. Okay. [takes headmaster offscreen, makes minifigure back into head, puts it on Son-Chu]
22:50: Transform!
[Jump cut, Son-Chu now back in car form] Okay, so now let's move right along to transformation, shall we?
[Picks up the Son-Chu with both hands to get ready to transform it] Lets, so, we're gonna, end up, taking off the pipes.
[Step 1:] [Removes side-mounted exhaust pipes] And, gar- put them out.
[Step 2:] [Opens its car doors to begin transformation] Hm.
[Step 2.1:] [Lifts open the roof to reveal the yellow-colored inside] Take... Sonichu out of the cockpit.
[Step 2.2:] [Takes a tiny model of Sonichu out of the driver's seat] Need... the bit here... to go back.
[Step 3:] [Moves the little windscreen on top of the rear seat area] Gotta put these down...
[Step 4:] [Pivots the doors so they point downward into where the floor would be] Put out our hands...
[Step 5:] [Folds some white plastic hands out of the doors, revealing that the doors are Son-Chu's arms] Gotta... Hands Out!
[Step 5.01:] [Struggles and mumbles unintelligibly] converse, sr-verse, oh, wait, I think while they were both um I think it was up with the sound of special spade!
[Step 5.011?:] [Really struggling now, moves some bits around the head and torso around, forgetting how to transform it] So, what you wanna do here is, you, pull out the, trust plea, um, push this back.
[Step 6:] [Moves the thing around and clicks bits into place] So you want to push these all the way down, and when they click, and then, these go down, so it looks like that.
[Step 6.1:] [Sets it on the table upside down with the top half fully transformed, grabbing its legs] And, uh-
[Step 7:] [Moves it offscreen to open its legs, revealing some nifty little gizmos] Um, and unfold these legs.
[Step 8:] [Unfolds the legs upwards, erecting them to their true length, which is a lot larger than expected] Uh, separate!
[Step 9:] [Separates the legs with a thunderous click, allowing them to move freely] uh, is that good looking, I'll have to remember...
[Troubleshooting:] [Chris demonstrates the legs many posable positions and orientations, trying to work out why it looks wrong] Oh wait I know! You're supposed to rotate- supposed to rotate this part right here.
[Step 11:] [Rotates the middle of Son-Chu 180 degrees] Uh, BLOOPERS! Bloopers, how many bloopers do you want? Too many, NAH.
[Step 9.5:] [Configures and rotates the legs into position] Now, that's better, that's right, anywah- have these, how- worth- have a- good looked at. And, dudududu-duduuu, that's a good verse, Uh.
[Step 10:] [Finishes the leg section] These recordings are usually unscripted. And hey-are you have, one thing, that, s- should be in the picture, the gun, sh- bu- the gun, sh- bu-
[Step 12:] [Attaches a gun to the side of Son-Chu's arm] No- no- it could look better- it could look nice- it could look a lot more fun, the design, dududu-dudududu...
[Step 12.5] [Attaches a gun to the other side, continuing to ramble] Connectible! Collectible fun! Ye- a lot more.
[Step 13:] [Puts the "finished" Son-Chu on the table sitting down and slides it back. Whatever this mode is, it doesn't look like much] There ya go! Tada! Fan-fire! And now presenting...
[Puts a Lego minifigure designed to look like his human OC on Son-Chu] Me! Hahaha! [Picks it up and puts it back down again, getting too close to the microphone] "Meeee! Lego me! Hello! Hello. Hi there! How're ya doin'? I'm Christine Chandler. [Moves the minifigure around to simulate talking] In Lego form! Dodoodledoodoo! You've seen my picture on the back of the box! Rockin' the guitar pujub- on this thing. And obviously, I am not included with this figure, AT ALL! So there! Bye bye~"
[Takes the minifigure off the screen and tries to find the tiny model of sonichu from earlier] Or, alternatively, you can, still rock it, by, putting- Sonichiie in the center. [Places the little Sonichu figure in the Son-Chu] Heh, tada! Well, good. OK, that's the base mode! [Removes Sonichu from Son-Chu's "base mode" and starts preparing for robot mode by taking the guns off] Now let's get to: Robot Mode!
[Step 14:] [Picks it up and sighs, and blows a raspberry.] Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Wollypo- put that in. NOOOOW we put the hands out.
[Still Step 14:] [Pulls the hands back out, as they weren't needed for base mode , but will be for robot mode.] Put the hands out... do dooo, do do do, uh, angle that- now put the leg down.
[Step 15:] [Arranges the arms and legs into a more "robot-like" pose] Pew-pew, do do doo, those definitely go in, eugh, for now, second verse- just like the first- similar to the first.
[Step 15 part 2: With a vengeance:] [More tinkering on the legs] Do do- do do do. Ah, camera! Camera!
[Step 16:] [Presents the transformed robot-Son-Chu in its headless glory] Need 'em without the camera! Uh, the car- black? Don't have to lock it in.
[Step 17:] [Does some finishing touches to add the armor and various other torso adjustments] But now he's missing a head! So, we bring in our dyed in after-hmm, curl him up! Do do doo do.
[Step 18:] [Shows the head on screen and moves it a little bit and adjusts a mechanism, and then puts it on Son-Chu's shoulders] Huh, I'm go does it with his hands, Blouo- bulebuleba, spice! Spice! Ash! Space! Poo! Playfish!
[Complete:] [Moves Son-Chu into better view] And there he is! Autobot Son-Chu!
[Makes Son-Chu do a fist pump by rotating it's right arm] Son-ChuuuuUUU! And even more victorious! Give him back his spikes, they up upward! [Puts spike accessories on Son-Chu's shoulders, increasing his victoriousness,] And, this is how good you can display i-um, in robot mode! [Poses Son-Chu in various victorious poses] VICTORY! WHEEE-OOH, VICTORY! So yeah, as I told you, there he is, autobot Son-Chu in robot mode!
[The Shield:] [Brings in the Lion] And, now we can bring in the l- now we can bring in... the lion! If you wanna name the lion you can call him the lion mark 1! stuck- the tech- the master, that's the brains behind the lion! Uh, included the sign again! Zoopie! [Folds the lion mark 1's head down and transforms it into Son-Chu's shield] hmm, do-hooo~ spede- hm- spede- hm, I'll, beedle there, pull his hands- from, the bottom! I don- I don- pa- bo- te- tid. Uh, pew. [Points Son-Chu's new shield- Lion Mark 1- straight at the screen. Starts speaking as Son-Chu and swinging the shield around] Alright! I got my shield! You like me! I got my shield! Pull-uppa shield! Up- shield!
[Takes hands away] You can ride on my ROOF! He's not my roof, I could push you off. [Gets the guns from earlier and shows them to the camera, then puts them on] And, g- guns! Everybody gonna port- break them, on, here I'm just gonna doi it on this one side, you can- pop- upward! [Adjusts the guns to point downward] Downward... As you wish! Your toy, my toy, your toy. This toy, that toy.
[Takes off the gun and re-orients the spike upward] Oh, this bad bo- Vooop! Cho! Dadoo-dadoo-dadoo. Alright, soo, The gimmick! Here comes the gimmick!
28:52: The Gimmick
[Pulls out the toy guns again] Um, if we can, put these... We can have two guns together...
[Connects the two guns together, creating a gimmick] Like so, and it becomes... A gimmick! A, gimmick. [Removes Son-Chu's head so that Son-Chu's CPU can control the gimmick] It's like a little, fun master, it's like a little- fun master, do- dodooo, [Connects head to the gimmick so it can control the gimmick flying around] Put him in the gun, make him yoda, make him fly, make him fly into land, wheeeew! Bupupup. Do-do-ro-do-bur. [It lands] Piloting this thing- nyew nyew nyew. [Takes the head off the gimmick and puts it back on robot-Son-Chu.] Murp! Geek! Me! And, I like, having him hold both guns at once! [Places the gimmick in Son-Chu's hand, who can use it as a weapon, and raises Son-Chu's left arm, with the gimmick in it.] And, [sigh] lemme just give you that similar heroic pose! He gave in the black and white picture!
[Once again poses Son-Chu heroically, sending his victorious levels through the roof] Whurp!
[Picks up the camera in an attempt to give the viewer a panoramic view of Son-Chu] I hate this camera! I hate this! Reverse lands- camera. Gatoo- nyurk, hurm, anyway. Picture! Nurp, Nurp, reverse the image... see right here, and look at this black and white photo, get that- locked- picture, before- and then I did this one. YouTube! [Puts camera down, moves Son-Chu's arms down.] Doo-de-doo-de-dooo. E, E.
Son-Chu: I am ze autobot, Son-Chu! Th- free for us, in Cwcville! The city of Cwcville! Wheee! And, I'm still adjusting the camera! I'm not perfect.
30:25: A Closer Look At Son-Chu
[Repositions camera to zoom in to Son-Chu] Anyway, so let's get a closer look g-at, autobot Son-Chu!
[Picks Son-Chu up so show it's feet to the camera, then picks up the camera and shows a close up of Son-Chu's face] In all his- detailed glory!
[The microphone is very far away so Chris' voice suddenly becomes a lot quieter as he positions Son-Chu in the natural light from the sun] Ada- hm, this w- works better, aye, so you see the nice face? The X go God paint fee to m- make it accurate. And, you've got the front bumper, that's on the chestplate.
[Pans to legs] And, you've got the red stripes on the blue legs. All the good piece of YELLOW! Yellowy goodness!
[Rotates Son-Chu left, and turns it, showing various Autobot symbols ] Autobot PINWALL, Blare, Autobot SINWALL, there. And there!
[Turns Son-Chu to face away from the camera] Round on the back, you can clearly see, the windows! And the hood. but thed- back. And, thus, the last place.
[Turns Son-Chu back around to show its middle] Oh yeah! There's the license plate, too!
31:25: Other Comparisons
[Puts the camera back down, along with Son-Chu, and moves it further away] And now, for other comparisons, here is Son-Chu with... Chrome Dome.
[Places Chrome Dome on the right side of the screen, so Son-Chu's left.] Break Away.
[Places Break Away on the left side of the screen, so Son-Chu's right.] Ruly do with the head light, it's really blinding, isn't it? Yes, unfortunately, it is!
[Takes away the other autobots, leaving Son-Chu standing alone against the sun. Following a long pause, Arcee is placed on the right side of the screen] And now, here he is, with Attalina slash movie transformer one Arcee.
[Places Bumblebee on the left side of the screen, on Son-Chu's right] Here he is with, Bumbalumba, AKA... anime Bumblebee!
[Takes away both of these toys again, and then put's Prowl on the right side of the screen] Here he is with Prowler AKA anime Prowl.
[Places Soundwave on the left side on the screen]And! Here he is with, Armarax AKA anime Soundwave.
[Adjusts camera slightly and takes the two transformers away, leaving just Son-Chu] And now, here he is, with our- decepticlones Cwcville.
[Places Thunder Cracker on the Left side of the screen] Crap-ter- AKA Thunder Cracker.
[Places Barricade on the right side of the screen.] From- de- from Cybertron, Barricade, from movie one. And Tsunada...
[Places Swindle on the left side, replacing Thunder Cracker, then on the right side, in front of Barricade, before moving Barricade around the back of Son-Chu to the left side and then removing it] The s- the S.A.P, wus- also known as, Anime Swindle.
[Takes Swindle away, and moves Son-Chu to the right, allowing space on the left for Hot Rod] Here he is with Hot rod.
[Takes Hot Rod away, replaces with Alpha Trion] Here he is, with... Alpha Trion.
Alpha Trion: Naonah warrior!
Chris: Uh huh.
[Removes Alpha Trion to make room for the massive Optimus Prime] And, here he is, with, Oppotomist Horoptomist, shows how it compared with the later figure. whoop!
[Takes Optimus Prime away, and moves Son-Chu back to the middle of the table] And, bringing back to center-stage, grrrroop [CLOP].
34:09: The French Revolution
And now, let's do a little head swapping! Because, I wanted to definitely show off, the Mark 1... Face. [Takes Mark 1 shield from Son-Chu's hand] So let's , get it out of the, LOION HEAD. dodo, get out the lion head.
[Removes the head of Lion Mark 1] Hm, hello! Hm, hm. Fritish! Y'do, rudigtig! That was easy! Heh, moove, CLOSER! [Slides Son-Chu across the table towards the camera to get a good view of it's head] Brrt, so we can- zoom in on the face! And then, right away! In the comic book, the he- his head, is still attached, really. Except when I put myself onto it to give it more powers, it bleated, WINGS! To make it fly! His head will, rotate roundward, revealing...
[Hurriedly yanks out Son-Chu's head] he head will- his head came off its socket. And with that here's- here he is, with, the Mark 1 face! [Puts the Mark 1 head from the Lion Mark 1 onto Son-Chu's body] Look at that face! Yaaa... I'm not creepy, look at that, look at that bloodbourne face! Aaaah, it's now proven that when the, transformers.com hid their face somewhere, and, they did not end up as perfect now. Good. That's the face of, Mark 1 Autobot Son-Chu, rrrrrr! Alright, well let's take this goiyul off!
[Removes Son-Chu head, takes the head off hot rod offscreen and places him in view.] And remove him, with the body, of the neck backward- and- let's try it on: Hot Rod! And we'll try both on Hot Rod, just because, we have, both bits. [Puts Lion Mark 1's head on Hot Rod's body]
Hot Rod:dimeee- hm- hm. Tothin- me- hu! Wanat, not wanat. I'm Hot Rod, hm. Tooyoo! Hm, yeah, s'ok IIIIT's ok. It's ok, drift ok. Hot shot!
Chris: Long shot, because he's on a different body!
Hot Rod: NOOOO!
[Takes Mark 1's head off and puts Mark 2's head on.]
Chris: Brilliant, I've had, part two, or, Mark 2 Son-Chu face on here, doodoodoodo. Hey, now look at that, that's- that's much better, it is much better, hooray! De- did it, wip- ey slip. [Removes Mark 2's head from Hot rod and takes it off screen, and then brings in Werewolf and puts the Mark 1 head on him.] And, because he's yellow, I'm trying the heads on... Werewolf. Wolf Wire! I like Wolf Wire better! For the name, so, there's Mark 1 face, blaaah, this works better! Yes, this hace- this head... on... Wolf Wire body, it works better. It works better! Wate- that- bedbed.
[Takes Mark 1 head off and puts on Mark 2 head on] Mark 2 face! Hm! 1- 3- 2- 1! Nig! Whaketimtrogodee. Wheeey! This works too! This works, poodopoo- this works also. Yaaay! Dododododooo doodelywobbley doodelywobbely, bobble be- godoogaro out! Woobodooblooo! -ok about, wibbly wobbly!
[Removes Mark 2 head, and puts Optimus Prime on the table] AND just because... also- put the basis on... Horomaster Optimist, now I'll move the camera a bit... meh-dodododoo. Whoop!
[Moves the camera up to show Optimus Prime's face] Diddily-didily dooo... Dbd fishes! Dbd body! Ok, here is... Mark 1! [Struggles to place Mark 1 head on Prime's gigantic body] Iyuwegudok. Yawe- Get on GET ON! I wan this down! What's wrong with the head? A tiny head, waysenepoinye. [The head is stuck in, but it is forced and at an angle] Hiya! Whadis, podis? Hmm, top of the helmet.
[Attempts to put Prime's helmet on the Mark 1 head] Hm, work, think, work! Burn it! Work, WOOOORK! I- bok- work! Work, darn it! [It clicks into place after a lot of force] There ya go. That, you see, the little red, now nas- look at that! Look at that! Lil nas- going all crazy! AAAhks! A little craaazy.
Chris Optimus Prime: You are under my-
REAL Optimus Prime: YOU ARE UNDER MY POWER. YOU WILL NOT-OBEY THE DECEPTICONS ANY MORE, YOU WILL BECOME AN AUTOBOT AND HELP US REMOVE THE HATRED IN THE WORLD!!!! LOVE IS LOVE, AND WE PREFER LOOOOOOOVE!!!
[The helmet and the head are easily removed despite earlier frustrations]
Chris: Do doo. And, also this is scs- this is considered a, PSA, because... [Puts Mark 2 head on Optimus Prime] Look how wide Son-Chu's head is, right there, because of the arms, because, time master's arms, now, I have probably has to- repaint over the uh, black, and I decided I would take over this time, because either way, look at this:
[struggles and succeeds to put Prime's helmet on Mark 2 head] It's difficult, to- get the helmet on. But the pay-off is good, it is good, do do dooo. Tada! We gonna push it down, or it will be all- look at that! You get to see: ZE EYES! Ze eyes of Son-Chu! Through the helmet of the Optomist! Oh, huh, got one more joke: I got a good joke, alright? Mein Furher! There is unt autobot on ze autobarn! What do you think about that? It's alright, as long as not decepticon! Hahahahahahaha. Hehehehe- he. Alright, he, go back insisis...
[Takes Mark 2 head off of Optimus Prime and takes both out of shot, then brings Son-Chu with his Mark 2 head back into frame] Whew-ne-nu- WHEW-ne-nu-nu. Ooh ooh, zooop! Tiddlyooh! Woo. Hm, hm got the shield... Back in his head, eatah, where'd I put the thing? Knock one! Packadoo! Mark 1 Lion!" [Reassembles the Lion Mark 1 in frame] Mark 1 Lion! Do the Lion! Be the shield, be the shield! Heh, Son-Chu's... WOOF! And get backun towards the- hand. [Re-attached Mark 1 Lion in shield form to Son-Chu's hand] For the remainder of the video! Wheedilidee, do do do.
[Jump cuts to further away] Ok, so, that is the... deluxe class, from the Cwcville city of Virginia! Officially of... the Sonichu brand merchandising, at least until Hasbro, is able to make an agreement with me on, distributing said toy, habro-dega- whatever, anyway, the only way you can get him, I'll be making two more copies of this guy, with everything you see... with the- both tiger masters... and I'll be sending one randomly, to... the person... who is randomly selected, after buying... at least 1 or so of Mr. Cs stamps. M-you may- one entry... per person. and they'll be randomly selected d- on around- May first, and, the other one will be, automatically given to, the person who... really helps me out and buys my beginners book stamp album.
[Places beginners book stamp album in the background] and, wz- dis right there, with all my autographs, with, bonus randomly selected covers of the UN covers of Mr. C! Sanduv- which... included!
[Takes the book away] You'll be getting your money's worth because, you buy that book before Ma- before... April... 30th! You get the... you get the figure here... only the randomly selected winner will get the, wo-uh- one, of the two figures, as well as- [Slams Skylanders figure on table next to Son-Chu] My Skylanders stone. Though... not with the wings. And... I had to redo the sword... it broke off a little bit. But I will include the, uh... card, but not functional with the game, with the s- [Slams down Skylanders card] with the picture... [Shows back of card] And, text- facts on the back. But anyway, the book buyer will... get the autobot figure... the Skylanders figure of myself AND the functional card... while fith- while... we get the amount number, fifteen randomly selected fires of the stamps will... recieve the funcitonal skylanders card. That you can put in the top-loader, and... each of those cards have, the text-facts on the back, as well. I have in mine! Zip!
43:38: Outro
[Takes away all the toys except Son-Chu] Ok, so I think that about wrap- that about, does it for now, with, autobot Son-Chu and everything about the... thread of wrap of giveaway... of sweepstakes! I'm doing, I'll leave all the respective links in the description, down below, I think you'd be hard pressed to- to try to do it yourself, and find the parts, so, your best bet, at least 2 people will get it. From... the winner and the instant purchase, it's all guaranteed, and... personally certified. Because I'll have, done all of this between the other two. Anyway, so I think that's about it! So, this is Christine Chandler, coming to you live from home once again! And uh- and once another... review video as an omage to, emgo316 which should like to his channel, that's, tha- this video will be uh- in the description down below!As well as the, review video for my self-Skylander figures, so don't forget to check everything out ah- ooh- and as well, the link to my shop on ebay, go- don't forget to check out, all that, and follow me on Facebook, Twitter, whatever, YouTube, [sighs], and remember:
| “ | You don't stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing | ” |
GIGIG, be proud! FAAAAARM!
[Covers camera with hand, ending the review portion of the video, cuts via a TV effect to Optimus Prime and Son-Chu]
Outro Roleplaying
Optimus Prime: Son-Chu! I leave it up to you to protect the city of Cwcville, along with your fellow autobots on your team, as well as the Sonichus and Rosechus, of city- of that- cw- city. As well as the mayor herself which is Christine Weston Chandler! I'm trusting you will do... a good job.
Son-Chu: [Saluting] Yes sir! I'll do my best, sir!
[Moves Arcee into the background] Arcee: Hello, sir!
Optimus Prime: Oh, YES Attalina. How may I help you?
Arcee: I have come with a present for you, from Cwcville pizzeria! Here you are! A big box of...
Optimus Prime: Mmm, pizza bagels... Yum! Uh ee ah uh uh ee ah! Let me have it!
Arcee: Yessir! ! Optimus Prime: OM NOM GOM NOM NE NOM NOM GOM, BE BLEUGALAUGH GAH GAHGLE GOM GOM. Uuur. Very good! Really good, really good. Thank you Attalina, and I trust that you'll do very well, in the city of Cwcville. Now go forth!
Arcee: Yes, sir!
All: YYOOAAOOOOAAAOOOOUUUUIIII WARRIORS!
Alpha Trion: [Comes into frame] Now, warriors! Listen to me now! For my advice is relevant to today's standards!
Son-Chu: [Looks at the camera] Huh, I wonder what he means by that?
Alpha Trion: WHEN an internet bully, or cybertroll, is bothering you a whole lot, ignorance, is truly bliss, amongst thy foes, I report emails~ and block them~
Son-Chu: Hey, he's right you know, so stop hating! Stop hating on all the other people! And everybody in general! And ignore the bullies! And report them.
[Cuts to Son-Chu alone] Son-Chu: If you wanna hate me, for not being perfect, then, [zooms in on Son-Chu] you haters are stupid. Internet. Trolls. Subberbullies. HATERS! STOP HATING! STOP HATIING! Derpating... especially not on us in the LGBTQ community, and everywhere in general! Stop hating! No hate... This a hate free zone!
[Cuts to Son-Chu with some of his friends] Son-Chu: Ok, breaking the fourth wall here! Have a good day, y'all!
[TV cut transition to SUBSCRIBE in yellow and blue, ends with Share Factory logo.]
References
| ⇐ A little Fluttershy singing (imitation) | Chris's videos | Sonic Totem and More ⇒ |