DayOut
DayOut is a series of videos showing off the rare sight of Chris Chan's fat ass outdoors. He takes us on a trip around Ruckersville and shows us such wonderful places as a McDonald's, a Wal-Mart, and a Burger King! Can you feel the excitement?
His trusty steed shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change is for 5 April 2009 — nineteen months before this video was made — or at 259,963 miles.
There are no less than three items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view — a tacky, faded plastic American flag, an Indian Head air freshener and a custom-made Sonichu air freshener — and a Homer Simpson doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.
Chris holds the camera while driving, panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his house. It's a miracle he didn't get in an accident.
DayOut1
| Dayout1 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter |  Power
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| Shirt |  The Swamp Monster
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Transcription
Hello, today we are going on a drive-by tour of some of my favorite places around... town, here and there. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna... drive around.
DayOut2
| Dayout2 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Power
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| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
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Transcription
And, ah, coming up on, first on our trip we take a- as we go north to Ruckersville.
And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently, lets get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Wal-Mart that has been constructed, that has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.
There is the new McDonald's, small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement, because you basically have to go around the building twice just to get to the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane out of here, around there, I don't know or make this whole building do a whole 180.
Other than that, the Wal-mart is just fine the way it is.
And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the Burger King, that my father goes to sometimes.
DayOut3
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| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Power
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| Performance Style |  Reason
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| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
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Transcription
This here is the Burger King that my father, goes to ever- practically every morning for breakfast and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes.
I am not a fast-food addict. And I am not that big, though I can stand to lose a few pounds.
DayOut5
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| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Power
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| Performance Style | Reason
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| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
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Transcription
[Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background]
Next up! Next up, in our drive by tour, we are in the For- we are in the shopsss of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, Tar-get? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selec-SHIN... possibly prices lower than Wal-Mart sometimes, but not all da tiiime.
Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys Restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar... uhhm. Paah... a Sakura-s, but then t'... An a'course one of the eh-many Gamestops, TGIFridays (a TGIFridays over there, za Gamestop here). And! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Deeter! Right over, there!
I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.
Anyway, a 'arrir Deeter, right over... there!
I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.
DayOut6
| Dayout6 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Power
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| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
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Transcription
[small pan around, the Handicap Sticker is prominent for a bit]
Chris: An-a-and in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is Fashion Square Shopping Center, at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, You have a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenny. Uhhh yes there is a Gamestop in there, an' a Spencers, and a Toys 'R' Us Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, back to the shopping center, because they lost some of-they lost that PO when they closed the Kaybee Toy Store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.
[pans camera to his face]
On the way over here, a few other note-kit-notable locations. Where um, the Sears Club and the Wal-Mart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a Chik-Fil-A, a Kroger's, Crutchfield, and Atlas Comic Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. Its just one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys-R-Us. Up the road...northwise. And there are other places, of which uh, we'll be taken note of. Ah, also up the road some more, is a K-Mart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, I probably admit, there's another...Gamestop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...Fed-Ex/Kinkos, and a Harris Teeter and another Kroger's go over there (unintelligible). Bunch'a good stores over there. Shenanigans, and...that other store that's to it. Forget its name...I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.
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DayOut8
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| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Power
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| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
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Transcription
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have ah, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably Parkour thing. You know I guess you couldn't really care for the Parkour I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.
Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.
C'mon. Come on.
Anyway jus- just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.
Ugh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.
If you want to do this step by step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.
At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Power
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| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
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next WeighIn |
Transcription
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places, we can drive down the t- down the corner, and the UVA, the University of Virginia, coming up on the corner.
Don't forget traffic slopes, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.
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