Guitar Hero

Chris, as he imagines himself to look.

Chris, as he is in reality

Guitar Hero is a rhythm action video game where one uses a guitar-shaped controller to activate the notes of a song as they scroll up the screen, similar to Dance Dance Revolution and its dance pad controller.

History

Chris owns a DDR set-up, as well as other popular music games like SingStar. While DDR and even many Wii games would involve actual movement and something even vaguely resembling actual exercise, Guitar Hero remains the only game which he has complimented as a game that provides him an opportunity for physical workout. Specifically, Chris has stated several times that Guitar Hero is good for his health, because he has to stand up to play it. Because standing still and pressing buttons on a plastic guitar is far less strenuous than singing or jumping up and down on a dance pad, or even waving controllers colored in eye-bleed inducing fashion around, Chris has taken a particular liking to Guitar Hero and has made references to it several times throughout his many works.

Data from his PlayStation Network account reveal that Chris has spent more than $350 downloading new songs to play in various Guitar Hero games. By comparison, he's spent only a little more than $50 on downloads for its closest rival in the music game market, Rock Band.

Delusion

Here in the real world, people think Guitar Hero is the most awesome music game ever that really makes you feel like a rock star. Well, at least until they play it, at which point they realize that they're mashing buttons on a plastic guitar. Actual guitarists have said that Guitar Hero doesn't help you learn to play guitar, and have themselves struggled playing the game - they said they needed to first forget everything about playing guitar.

Chris, however, seems to believe that Guitar Hero is actually equivalent to playing a real guitar. For example, in Sonichu 10, Chris takes his PS3 and Gitar of Fail to his band tour.

Sonichu and Chris Chan in Guitar Hero World Tour

On 27 October 2008 Chris uploaded a video showing off his custom Sonichu crap that he added to the game. Similar to his comics, he portrays himself as thin and fit. While this is partly due to the fact that that game doesn't have an "unpleasant, fat" character model, it would still be possible for Chris to give his in-game self some degree of huskiness if he had any sense of his personal appearance.

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“	I've created the Sonichu Band Icon from scratch, as well as my Character and Guitar. Enjoy the further testaments of my capabilities and creativity in tune to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." Also, I am up in the "Auditions" on Gamestop.com; please Vote for my Rockin' Picture to get me as a Playable Character with Sonichu & Rosechu in my Band in a Future Guitar Hero Game.	„
—Original video description, 27 October 2008

Bandmates

See also: CWCRockin4Way.jpg

Music is just another way to get china for Chris

Video games are no longer the passive form of entertainment they used to be - they're also a breeding ground for the creativity of the gamers. Like all enthusiastic gamers, Chris unleashes the full force of his creativity and puts a lot of thought into his video game play to get maximum satisfaction out of these games.

Unfortunately, this is not obviously going to work as well as it does for some other, more gifted people.

Guitar Hero games allow great degree of fun but ultimately useless fiddling that doesn't actually help the game, such as creating virtual band members. In yet another feeble attempt to prove he's not a homo, Chris's bandmates are all women, because what girl wouldn't want to jam with the artistic genius that is CWC? He also put a lot of thought into drafting the backstory for his awesome fictious band and its members picked some names for these characters.

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  Zuri Alryte: she's "All right" because she's at least half white.

• 

  Kera Bei: Britney's long lost twin sister?

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  Jody Zimmerman: A sistah or a brotha? You decide.

People might not find this too ridiculous on the outset, but two facts make it worse: The first we heard of these bandmates was through a leaked Rule 34 picture. Among fiction writers, blatantly pornographic imagery is hardly considered the best way to introduce new characters to the world (though some may argue it's probably the most profitable). Chris drew himself having sex with these virtual women, and proceeded to make a video about it, announcing it as a testament to his straightness.

Furthermore, he seems to be a little bit preoccupied with the idea, to the point that people are starting to think he really believes he bonked these nonexistent chicks.

“	Would I be having sex with THREE WOMEN?!	”
Chris, forgetting Guitar Hero is a video game and those women are fictional

See also

• Gitar of Fail