Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos. The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.
The '''Sonic Boom Protests''' were a series of protests that [[Chris]] initiated in late [[2014]]. While everyone else was posting on [[Facebook]] about less important political concerns, Chris decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting [[Sega]]'s decision to make [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms blue (as opposed to the usual tan color) in  ''Sonic Boom'', a ''non-canon'' spin-off series. Chris was so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he went so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, [[Death threats|threaten the lives]] of Sega employees, glitterbomb Sega's American HQ, and even physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's [[Chris and reality|prolonged estrangement from reality]] could reach new heights, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channeling [[Chris and anger|anger]] in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it by vandalizing copies of ''Sonic Boom'' wherever he saw them. When GameStop employees rightfully tried to make him leave the store, he agreed to walk out, but only after [[26 December 2014|brandishing his can of mace and spraying it at one poor employee's shirt]].


After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether. Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.
('''[[Sonic Boom Protests|More...]]''')
 
('''[[Un-clit|More...]]''')

Latest revision as of 07:02, 16 September 2024

PROTESTING SANIC BUM.jpg

The Sonic Boom Protests were a series of protests that Chris initiated in late 2014. While everyone else was posting on Facebook about less important political concerns, Chris decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting Sega's decision to make Sonic's arms blue (as opposed to the usual tan color) in Sonic Boom, a non-canon spin-off series. Chris was so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he went so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, threaten the lives of Sega employees, glitterbomb Sega's American HQ, and even physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's prolonged estrangement from reality could reach new heights, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channeling anger in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it by vandalizing copies of Sonic Boom wherever he saw them. When GameStop employees rightfully tried to make him leave the store, he agreed to walk out, but only after brandishing his can of mace and spraying it at one poor employee's shirt.

(More...)

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