Regina e-mails

Regina Novakova was a Czech student studying university abroad at UVA. She had her father's help to purchase Chris's Guitar Hero guitars online over eBay and the two soon began communication regarding the transaction.

Unfortunately for Regina, Chris took this opportunity to start his perverted advances over someone who never expressed an interest in him to begin with. The tone eventually shifted and Chris became his usual lazy self and then discontinued all contact. Probably so he could sit around on his fat ass and be retarded, his favorite leisure time activity, apart from mass debating.

These e-mails were obtained by hacking into Regina's email account. As of this date, her whereabouts are unknown but it is assumed that she is busy studying and being productive, unlike Chris. We wish her the best and hope that Chris never crosses her path again.

Note that these emails take place in late September/early October 2009, right around the time Snorlax was battling AIDS.

My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I was just in touch with your father, Walter Kovacs, and he has informed me that I will be exchanging the business of him buying the two Guitars from me on eBay with you. The total amount due is 110.99, cash only if picking up in person, please. He was unsure of your phone number, if you have one, but if you have one, you may call me back at 434-760-0848. What is your name, if I may ask? And he says you are going to a university here in Virginia; are you going to UVA in Charlottesville? I await your call or reply. Have a nice day. Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler.

Upon personal pick-up, the total without shipping is 91.99

Hey!!!! You caught me at the perfect time!! I was just checking my emails before going out! Yeah, he doesn't know my phone number cause I don't have one yet :( I just moved here from the Czech republic as a foreign student and I haven't got a cell phone yet. We've been communicating by Skype. It's a nightmare!!!! I want to get a contract but I have to get all this extra visa stuff sorted out! I am totally going to UVA! BA in philosophy! It looks hard but I am up to the challenge. My name is Regina by the way. I see from your email that your name is Christian! That's totally cool cause my brother's name is Christian. But in Czech we spell it Kristian. So I'll get my dad to wire me the money. I am pretty busy sorting out official stuff and meeting new people. Is it possible we can set up a meet in a week or so? Is that too late? I really hope not! Thanks by the way!!!! If I can get this cell nightmare worked out I will send you the number ASAP!! Have a great day!!!!! Regina

It is nice to make your acquaintance, Regina. A meeting in a week is good. It is so cool you are going to UVA, because it is only about half to a full hour from my house in Ruckersville, North of UVA up 29. I have talked on Skype before, it can be a pain sometimes with miscommunications and the fees to call a phone number sometimes. At least it is one way to be in talking touch. I went to Piedmont Virginia Community College, where I got an Associates Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design in 2006. I would use the computer program to design 3D rendered models of mechanical parts and buildings. I even finished my final CADD class with a bang designing a Whole Shopping Mall, Two Stories and a Mayor's Office on the second floor looking over the front entrance. It is huge.  :) I sometimes have philosophical thoughts, although I'm not all that knowledgeable in philosophy, perhaps you can inform me about it, even as your own review for your tests/exams. I look forward to talking with you more and meeting you. Please tell me more about yourself in your next message, and I will tell you more as well. Also, I've attached a current photo of myself to this e-mail. TTYL.  :) Stay Safe, Chris.

About me? Well, I like running, video games and music. But I really don't have much time for them. I spent a lot of time working in my father's company in the past. He used to get me to help him with English. He is learning but he still isn't very good yet, as you might have noticed. But now I have come to America to study! I'm from Liberec in the Czech Republic, but me and my family moved to Prague when my father started his company. Have you ever been to Prague? It's amazing! I know a lot about philosophy! I love it!!! I have studied it forever. I can't wait to learn more by going to university! I never heard of CADD before, I had to look it up lol. Do you work as a designer or something? Till later. Na shledanou (That's Czech) Regina.

Hey did you get my last email? Haven't heard from you in a bit. Are you still going to sell me your guitar hero controllers? I was thinking of collecting them Monday the 5th, cause I have lots of free time then. Let me know. Yours, Regina.

I apologize for not replying to you; I hadn't checked my e-mail over the weekend. The last e-mail I got from you was the one I last replied to. Did you get the picture I sent you? You may need to resend the last e-mail you said you sent. Anyway, yes I still plan to sell you the guitars; Monday the 5th is good. We can meet up at the Barracks Road McDonalds at about 2 or 3 PM, and after the business, you and I can hang out for a while. Tell me, do you live in one of the dormatries around the UVA, or do you have your own place? And I still would like to hear more about you. I'll TTYL, Stay Safe, Chris.

Wow.  :) You learned english before your father, and you help him learn it, that is cool. What does he manufacture or do in his company? And how about your mother, does she still live with him? I have not been to Prague, but I'll look it up, and you can tell me more about it from your Point of View. I am an avid designer, yes, yet it's kinda hard to get such a job around Charlottesville at the time. I am also an artist; I will be delighted to share with you my original drawings and other artworks. Gmail is okay; I was in contact before with someone who had one; one or two pieces of e-mail get misplaced a bit, but we sorted out the miscommunications. As for the McDonalds I was referring to, there is only one Barnes & Nobel Bookstore in Charlottesville; find it, and that McDonalds is nearby. I'm currently living with my mother and father, but I too am looking forward to getting a place of my own, or sharin' a pad with my girlfriend (if I had one; I'm single). If things work out for you, I would be happy to be your roommate and help out. A bit more info about myself, I'm 5'10", about average body type, my left eye is blue/right eye is green (I had pink eye in my right during High School, and my perscribed eyedrops changed its pigment), my hair is brown, my favorite color is blue/favorite shade is Crayola's "Battery-Charged Blue", I enjoyed reading R.L. Stein's "Goosebumps" and "Fear Street" books during my teenage years, my favorite movie of all time is "Mary Poppins", and my favorite food is Macaroni & Cheese. I gtg, but I look forward to your next message and replying to it.  :) Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL, Chris.

Yeah, my dad grew up under the Communist system. So he had to learn Russian because they didn't teach English back then. He does really well though. His company makes clay and ceramic tiles by the way. Among other things. Prague is one of the greatest cities in the world! We call it the Paris of the East. I attached a picture I took from my graduation trip. For a party we took a boat trip on the Vltava and I took this picture of the castle. It was such an awesome day. There are so many things to see and do. It is quite possibly the best place in Europe. But it feels good to get away for a while. That's too bad about the jobs. I guess this financial crisis makes it hard to find work. It must be hard to make ends meet. I guess not a lot of people are building things so it must be hard to work as a designer. Do you do like freelance stuff? Cause I guess that would be REALLY hard to find work. I guess I can look that McDonalds up on google maps or something. I'll find it. I just don't know cause I never eat there. Barnes and Noble is a book store right? You're looking for a place too? I'm trying to find a 2 bedroom apartment around UVA for around 800$. I'm not sure how realistic that is yet. Most of the people I know are staying with family to keep things cheap. I'm kinda lucky cause my dad can help out and I saved up a lot. I'm trying to convince some of my friends so if they turn me down, I'll let you know. Are you a tidy guy? Do you smoke? Do you like parties? I like to have the occasional party. I guess I can tell you a bit more about me. I'm blond with brown eyes. I'm pretty short. Only 161 centimetres. I'm sorry cause I'm really not used to these American measurements yet so I don't know what that is in inches... I have to admit, I have never heard of any of those books. I read a lot of Kafka. I didn't like him at first but I gradually grew to like him. He's Czech so we had to read a lot of his books in school. I've never heard of Mary Poppins. I don't really watch American movies. I like them but most of the films I watch are European. I've heard many things about macaroni and cheese. But I'm kind of hesitant to try it. American cheese scares me. I have a CRAZY love for PEANUT BUTTER though. What's pinkeye? Na shledanou! Regina.

{{{1}}}

Ok, that's cool that you are tidy. If my friends don't pull through, I'll keep you in mind. Ok, so I'm a bit confused. Pokemons are those Japanese card game things right? So you designed some characters for these cards or video games? That's pretty cool. Does sonichu or rosechu mean something in Japanese? This isn't my computer. It belongs to my aunt (she's the family member I'm living with) and she needs it for work a lot. So I will have to check out your portfolio site or whatever later. Pinkeye sounds really gross. Ok, thanks for the directions. I will see if I can get my friend to swing by with her car on Monday and we'll go pick them up. I don't think it will be a problem. Thanks for the advice about Craigslist. I had already been checking it. I'm looking at a few possibilities. Thanks for the book recommendations too, but I don't think I'll have time to check those out. I'll probably be too busy reading philosophy books for university. So you read Kafka? Only The Metamorphosis? My favourite from him is The Trial. Have you read it? I tried one of these easy to make macaroni and cheese boxes last night. It was pretty horrible. I had to first get over the fact that the cheese was a powder, then I tried to eat it. I really didn't like it. My aunt eats it though. I just can't seem to get used to American cheese. Especially powdered. You don't make it like in Europe. A headshot? Like for actors? I don't have any professional photos like that, but I can attach a normal one. I guess it makes sense cause you will have to recognise me. Here's a picture of me and my brother. This is from the last time we went camping. I'm 20 years old. Which means I can't drink here. I like to have social drinks. In the Czech republic you can drink at 18. So It's really annoying. So sometimes I just drink with my friends at home when we can find someone who is old enough to get us a bottle of wine. Talk soon I hope. Na shledanou, Regina.

Thank you for your picture. You are soo cute and pretty.  :) FYI, Pokemon started as a video game on Nintendo Game Boy, then it became an anime, followed by the Trading Card Game. Sonichu and Rosechu are not japanese names, although the inspiration for "Sonichu" came from Sonic the Hedgehog's japanese name, "Soniku". I will look up and read "The Trial", thank you for recommending it to me. They have Macaroni and Cheese premade in the frozen food aisle of the grocery stores, I personally recommend the Marie Calandar brand; it is good, and it's inexpensive. Maybe after you and I meet, I can come by your place and bring a spot of wine or something for you.  ;) I talked to my father about you a bit, and my father went on with his stories of Czechoslovakia; he's been a bit around the world, and he studies his atlases and maps. He informed me about what had happened there during the WWII and such. Clearify it for me and him, is the country split up like Czech and Slovak Republics, or is it still combined to Czechoslovakia? Also, my father had some friends back in the late 1970s who were from Czechoslovakia; they had left there for America illegally, so they could never go back. Anyway, my dad and mom enjoyed conversing with them, and they all would also share the Slivovitch (Plum Brandy) they would bring over. He really enjoyed it, it came in this perfume bottle-shaped bottle with plums on the label. Locally, the closest place to find the Slivovitch, as far as my dad knows, is just north in Maryland. You would likely have an enjoyable conversation of Czechoslovakia, or the Czech Republic, with him. I'm not all that knowledgeable in geography personally, but I can learn. Another little something else about me, I can be funny; sometimes I'll think of something silly, witty or random that makes me and my family smile and/or laugh about. Like for example, I used to go on about people with Hippopotami on their heads. :D Or this man from Nantucket who had on his head a bucket. :D Even a Lawer named Tom Sawer who had a daughter named Sue. :D And recently a silly song line of a cow named Moo, "Hey there, Moo, wha'cha gonna do? Are you gonna give me some milk today? Moo. Moo." :D And sometimes, I like to take words, spell them backwards and say them like that. My name, "Christian Weston Chandler" would be "Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc". Or your name, "Regina Kovacs" would be "Scavok Aniger". And sometimes, I take numbers and replace letters in words with them. 1 can be I, L or J. 2 can be Q, R, S, Z. 3 can be B, E, M, N or W. And so on for the other single digits; all it takes is a spot of imagination. I can spell my first name as CH2127143 from CHRISTIAN. I'll stop for now, and I understand if you're feeling confused from the wordplay. But I can be quite creative and clever. So our meeting is set then, Monday the 5th, 2:00 PM, at the Barracks Road McDonalds. We can get the guitar business done, then sit, talk and I'll be happy to treat you for lunch. I look forward to seeing you, and I feel this can be a good friendship.  ;) Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL, Love and Peace, Chris. P.S. BTW, "Na shledanou", is that Czech for "Love" or "Sincerely"?

Hey thanks for the compliment! I think I am a little too thin though. It's not a very good pic though. I didn't bring my computer with me cause I need to buy a new one, so I saved most of my stuff on CDs before I came. That's the only one I could find of me. Somewhere around here I have pics from my graduation which are really cool but I don't know where. So is this Soniku thing pretty profitable? I always wondered if people who design stuff for video games make a lot of money and if it is hard work or a lot of fun. Designing video games sounds like something that would be fun, but I have zero artistic talent and I don't think I could ever master all this digital design stuff. I just like playing them. To be honest, I think I will steer clear of macaroni and cheese for the time being. American cheese in general isn't really appealing to me. It's all processed and everything. It doesn't seem like it would be all that good for you. But I don't really know. I'm just not a fan. Wine is pretty good. I like white. Do you know any American brands that are really good wine? I have tried a couple from California but I want to get a good sampling. You don't need to buy me any, I think you could get in trouble or something right? My country is better known for beer, though I am not the biggest fan of it. I don't understand if you said your dad has been to the Czech republic or he knows a lot about it. I can certainly clarify it for both of you! In 1989, communism ended in what we call the sametová revoluce, think in English it's called the soft revolution or the velvet revolution or something like that. Then, a couple of years later, there was a referendum and we decided to split up. On January 1st 1993, we became two countries again. Your dad has tried slivovica! And he enjoyed it! That's great! We make many of these drinks from other fruit too. We call them pálenka. I like slivovica too. Have you tried it? I am not so sure that I understand this humour. Why did the people have hippos on their heads? And does the cow belong to this lawyer? I think you will have to explain these a bit more to me. One thing I have a lot of trouble with is American jokes. Czech humour is very different. Don't worry though, I don't think you would understand many Czech jokes. I have tried telling some to my friends and no one ever laughs. My name isn't actually Regina Kovacs, it's Regina Novakova. Walter isn't my real father. He married my mum when I was very small. My father died in an accident before I was born but I kept his name. Walter is the only dad I've ever known though. I guess that isn't as interesting if you spell it backwards. I would be happy to have lunch with you. I don't really like McDonalds though. I find their food to be really bad. One of my friends and her boyfriend may be driving me though. Can she come too? That's not certain yet. I may borrow my aunt's car if she doesn't need it. Actually "na shledanou" just means "goodbye". I guess that's kind of formal. If you want to be friendlier, you can just say "čau" or "pápá". Love in Czech is "láska" and "I love you" is "miluji tě". I guess if you are looking for an equal to a closing in a letter you would say something like "upřímně váš" but that's kind of formal too. Ok, sorry, no more language lessons. Čau!  :) Regina

I got your last e-mail on October 1.  :) BTW, that was my mother's birthday too; she's 68 now. I've been busy lately, and I apologize for not replying sooner. I would have replied yesterday, but my mom came down ill (thought to be food poisioning at first but it's confirmed to be colitis; a colon infection); had to be rushed to the Martha Jefferson Hospital. She is still recovering, and she is feeling better now. Now, in response to your last e-mail, firstly, I think your figure looks great; I would not change it.  ;) And more pics of you would be good, I look forward to seeing your Graduation Pics. Sonichu can be profitable, but the plan is to get paper published with a comic book company like Archie or Marvel (or self-publish if they refuse me), then my comics can be mass-printed, sold, and merchandise and profits to follow. I'm not all that a video game designer, but I have had experience with part and building desiging on the CADD programs, as well as in-video game designing, such as the level-creation-styles of LittleBigPlanet. And before then with in-game customizations with games such as Animal Crossing, Jet Grind Radio, F-Zero GX, and others. I'm also looking forward to the upcoming Modnation Racers. BTW, you said you play video games too, which console(s) do you own? If you have a PS3, we can be exchange PSN Online IDs and communicate through there too. I've just started drinking last June; my first drink was a Long Island Iced Tea; Delicious.  :)P I've enjoyed the tastes of a local wine I sampled from a local winery. I've also tasted Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budwiser, Miller, Micolobe, Samual Adams and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour. I have not yet tried the Slivovich From the jokes I told you, most were word-play jokes; the hippo joke was just silly. :D No, the lawer did not own the cow; those two scenarios were seperate. "Lawyer" and "Sawyer" rhyme, and what does a lawyer do? "Sue" someone. I'll sing the cow lyric for you on Monday when we meet; it's funnier when heard anyway. Your friends may come for lunch too. I can think of three other good places: CiCi's Pizza has good pizza, salads, soups and desserts; all you can eat. Tropical Smoothie Cafe has good flatbread sandwiches that come with your choice of chips or fruit, and their smoothies are tasty too. Baja Bean has some good mexican food. I'm also open for your suggestions, or what you feel like then. I'm sorry to hear that about your original father, but at least you had Walt to be your emotionally supportive dad, and you still have your mother too.  :) It's always good to count your blessings. Do you go to church? I go to Wesley United Methodist Church, south-bound on Emmet St. beyond the tennis courts, across from the UVA parking garage there. I was baptized there Mother's Day of 2008; my father and I are Methodists, and my mother is Presbertyrian. Do you have siblings? I have two half-brothers and one half-sister. My mother had Joseph Cole Smithey; a movie reviewer in New York City, currently living with his girlfriend and her family. He also has a website, http://www.colsmithey.com. My father had David Alan Chandler and Carol Suzanne Chandler. Alan is an Optomologist in Chesterfield County; he is married and has a daughter; her name is Savannah. Carol has a PHD and Degree in Math, and last my father and I heard, she was working with the Government in DC; Top Secret Stuff. Seriously, I HAVE NO INKLING of where in DC she is or what's she been up to. Does your mother work too, or is she a housewife? My mother held a number of Secretarial jobs; most recent was at First North American National Bank (Partnered with Circuit City) where she worked in Recovery. She's retired now; she used to be an adequate homemaker, but since she retired, she's been taking it easy a lot. BTW, my father's name is Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., and my mother's is Barbara Anne Weston Chandler. And I have a number of aunts, uncles and cousins I'll be happy to tell you about at a later time. Please feel free to tell me some about your family and y'alls history. Also, I am 1/32 Cherokee, from my father's side; I am also part English, British and French (British and French from my mother's). My family tree includes the Boleyn family; Anne Boleyn, one of King Henry VIII's wives, who gave birth to Queen Elizabeth I. Anne was related in an Aunt-Sense; my mom and I are more directly linked to her sister, Mary Boleyn. At least, as far as my mother found in her family's history. the next link she found was Richard Weston, First Earl of Portland. I'm still trying to find the link between Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn. Anyway, another one of my ancestors after Richard was the dude who bartered for the Mayflower for the English People to board and take that famous Pilgrimage. I'll stop there for now. Anyway, our meeting is settled then; this coming Monday at the Barracks Road McDonalds at 2:00 PM. We'll make the business exchange of the guitars for the $90.99, USD, then we'll hang out with a spot of lunch.  :) I'll TTYL, Stay Safe and Take Care, Cau, Chris. (I do not know how to type in an acented letter from my keyboard or AOL e-mail)

Hey Christian. I am at a friends house right now. I am a little bit drunk because we have been drinking some wine her dad gave us. Please excuse any spelling errors. :) That is pretty cool about your Soniku thing. I hope you get it published. I still havent seen your website. I guess I should check it out if you are famous for it or something. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Is she ok? It sounds pretty serious. What happened exactly? When I get home from my friends house I will send you some grad photos. I have what I think is the perfect dress. Yeah I figured the joke you were talking about would be better in person. Do you have any more examples? Im trying to understand as much as possible. Oh, feel free to correct my English too, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to languages. Ok, so we can meet at McDonalds and then go somewhere else. I really dont want to eat there. The taco place you mentioned sounds pretty cool. I dont think my friend and her boyfriend will be coming. As for video games, I have a PS3 and mostly just play guitar hero. Thats why we are buying the controllers from you. Cause me and my friend are really competitive. We want to compete against each other. Ugh, there is this really fat ugly guy at this party who keeps touching me and annoying me by talking about some stupid drawings he does. Hes really an idiot. Luckily my friend keeps shooing him away. I dont really go to church a lot. I went to a Catholic secondary school. But in the Czech republic, religion is not all that popular. Ive never really found all that much reason to go to church. I dont know what methodism is. Im kind of a Christian Existentialist anyway. I really like Kierkegaard. Anyway, my thumbs are getting tired from typing this on my friends iPhone so I think I will get back to partying. Ill send you the pictures tomorrow. Ahoj!!!  :) Regina

Hey, sorry for last night. I was in no state to be sending emails. I was kind of just doing it to look busy so that guy would stop bothering me. I didn't really answer all your questions!!!! So, in addition to the stuff I mentioned last night: I do have some siblings. There is my brother Kristián I mentioned before, and my little sister Kateřina. Kristian is 25 and just started his own company. Kateřina is 15 and still attending secondary school. My mom does work. She has a dog grooming business. My ancestors haven't done anything special. At least not that I know of. Maybe they have but Novák is such a common name in the Czech republic the relation would be insignificant. I would check my Dad's side but Kovač is even more common than Novák. I don't like to be judged on my family history anyway and prefer people assess me for what I do. I have a Czech joke for you: During the Nazi occupation, a Gestapo officer drags a Czech man into a prison and says "lock him up!" The clerk asks, "what did he do?" The Gestapo officer says "he shouted 'Jews out! Germans in their place!'" The clerk says "why did you arrest him for that? That's the new law!" The Gestapo officer says "he was in a Jewish cemetery!" It's not the best joke but it's the only one that anyone has understood when I told it to them. Do you have any more jokes to consider before we meet? So, at the Barracks road McDonalds at 2pm. Please expect that I will be a little late. Hopefully I will hear from you by email before then. OK? :) Get the guitars ready xixixi. How is your mom doing? Oh... and picture attched. Čau čau!!! Regina.

I've just downloaded and saw your pic; WOW! You're like Cinderella from the Disney movie; Beeeautiful!  :) I will have the two guitars and their USB receivers ready for you; please make sure you have the cash on hand to pay for them. $91 is acceptable; I will be happy to give you the penny in change. Also, I've just purchased PS3 Rock Band Country Track Pack for the code to download the Tracks to be playable in Rock Band 1 + 2. I was thinking about putting it on eBay for $19.99, but if you want it, I'll be happy to include it with the guitars, as a Free Bonus. Do you get WiFi at your place, so we could communicate over the Playstation Network? If you don't, I recommend it. I get WiFi here at my house and as far as its yard streches property-wise, courtesy of Comcast Cable; I have a cable modem box with a WiFi Router equipped to it. It is a good deal, especially with Guitar Hero titles; I buy and download the additional Tracks from the Playstation Store (some of which are free). Another great game I highly recommend for the PS3 is LittleBigPlanet; in addition to the Story Mode and customizing your Sackperson, you can collect the in-game parts and pieces and create your own levels. I have a few of my own uploaded onto the PSN. "LittleBigPlanet... It is a planet that is little; it is a planet that is big." Anyway, by the taco place, do you mean the Taco Bell or the Baja Bean, just so I'm clear on that? It's okay if you come by yourself, and I understand if you're late; I'll wait for you. You'll know I'm there if you see a dark blue station wagon-shaped Ford Escort with "Sonichu" on the License Plate, and an Autobot symbol on it's trunk door in the nearby parking spaces. I would not judge you on your family history; it still makes a good conversation or research topic. The hospital just released my mother this morning, and my father brought her home this afternoon. She is still recovering, and my father and I went out earlier to get her new perscriptions, but at least she doesn't have to make as many restroom runs now. Your joke is good. I have a few other jokes, as well as a riddle or two. Or I may come up with something new at random. I get some of my material from past comedy shows and movies. Three comedians I enjoy are Red Skelton, Lucille Ball and Jerry Sienfeld. I look forward to meeting you and hanging out with you tomorrow.  :) Cau Cau, and Stay Safe, Chris.

I'm glad you had a good time last night at your friend's house, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that fat guy. It's good to be blessed with friends to help you like that.  :) Oh, and Methodism, as well as Presbertianism, are both of Christian Religions; you may look them up on Wikipedia. Cau, Chris.

First off, I'm supposed to say HI FROM GREGG WITH THREE Gs. He said you had family business to attend to and couldn't make it. He was kind enough to drop off the guitars. Thank you for the discount by the way! 50% is huge! Gregg also took the liberty of cleaning off the stickers and paint. He said it looked kind of bad. But they look like new now! Thanks! Hope nothing is too serious and you got it all sorted out. Gregg is pretty cool guy. ČAU!!!! Regina :)