KCWC broadcast

Chris owns the world, baby.

KCWC broadcast is a taped "broadcast" of KCWC that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of the "Yep, I'm on TV :)" DVD.

This "broadcast" is notable of Chris's childlike behavior, with his mom "calling in" to request a song for Bob's 71st birthday and humoring Chris like a six year old, as well as the fact that many of the songs he plays are from video games. Though many video games do have catchy themes, no one in their right mind would listen to them over the radio.

Besides the crappy video game music, the only other songs Chris plays are old songs that nobody from his generation onwards has probably ever heard of, all from the 1900s to 1950s by artists such as Frank Sinatra and Joe Loss. We can probably thank Bob for Chris's musical tastes.

The broadcast has several special "guests," notably Alvin and the Chipmunks, as well as Myles Standish, who, after riding on board the Mayflower to the new world, has apparently became a Sonic the Hedgehog fan. Keep in mind, this was made when he was sixteen years old, in his junior year of high school.

Audio

Part I

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
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Transcription

This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative.

Chris:[whispering] Quiet, we're on the air.

[Chris makes some random chiming noises]

Chris: [ba-ba-ba-bum in a singing voice] It's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, Christian Chandler! [ba-ba-ba-bum]

[tape skips between recording]

Chris: Good morning, guys, gals, and dudes of all ages! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up a little cranky in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning I own the world, I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' Frankie Sinatra. This song is titled [bad singing voice], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [normal voice] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get that string wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [Chris laughs]

[tape skips again]

[Frank Sinatra's version of "I've Got the World on a String" plays]

Chris: Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' Chico Marx, let's give him a big hand! [Chris claps as the tape stops]

[A recording of Chico Marx appearing on radio show The Fitch Bandwagon plays, after Marx does a comedy bit, Skip Nelson's "Velvet Moon" plays.]

[Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping]

Chris: Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

Chris: [badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

Chris: Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

Chris: [in his Chico voice] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

Chris: O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [stutters], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[Tape stops again and resumes with "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" by Joe Loss playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.]

Part II

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
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Transcription

"Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" by Joe Loss resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.

Chris: Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope he and his friend enjoys themselves, but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

Chris: So here it is, take it away, news! [Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice] Good evening! This is Ted Baxter here with the news. First we will go with our local news. Here we are at the Mario racetrack where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees, but don't worry, their mommies are taking care of them, and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [half-assed laugh]

Chris: Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [Chris' voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! It is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

Chris: [Chris shifts back into his news caster voice] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene]

Chris: This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[Chris's voice attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man]

Chris: I think it is very bad of this man to steal five-million dollars from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a one-thousand dollar reward to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a five-million dollar reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

Chris as Copter 1: ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

Chris as Ted the Newscaster: Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

Chris as Copter 1: Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

Chris as Ted the Newscaster: Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago White Sox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the White Sox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

Chris: Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial for toys, an advertisement for a Surf 'n' Turf CD/Cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.]

Chris: Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes until it is cut off by the end of part two.]

Part III

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
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Transcription

The Mario Kart 64 Circuit Select theme resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.

Chris: You are listening to EVERYTHING station KCWC. And uh, during that Mario Kart 64 song, we got a request from a little young boy of uh five years old. His name is, uh, Christopher Chandler. He's a first-time caller, but a long-time listener. He put in a request for a theme--for the theme song of a very famous Sonic the Hedgehog game for the Sega Genesis. So I'm gonna throw in another contest. The prize this time is a game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. If anyone call in and guess the name of the game that this song came from--it is in the handsong and it is the theme song of that game. Anyway, if anyone can call in and guess the name of the game, I'll give them the game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC, and I'll take ANY caller who can call--who'll call in and give the right answer. Okay, so take it away, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I hope somebody wins.

[tape stops and leads to the theme song of "Sonic and Knuckles"]

[tape stops and Chris resumes speaking]

Chris: And you are listening to everything KCWC. And that song was the "Sonic and Knuckles" theme song. And we got a winner here, folks. His name is Myles Standish. And he told me to tell you the he was one of the members of a s-- one of the Sonic the Hedgehog website on the Internet. By the way, speaking of which, I've also wanted to play that Sonic & Knuckles song because I heard that there were a lot of sites on the Web created by lots of Sonic the Hedgehog fans. Anyway, Myles Standish has won that uh game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course, so he and a friend of his can enjoy themselves for a game at Putt-Putt Golf Course. Anyway, uh, nuh, anyway, enough of the video games. I'm gonna play...I'm gonna nuh, the next selection that I'm gonna play is, uh another Frank Sinatra number called Love and Marriage. And boy, that is an institute you can't disparage. Oh by the way, just to let you know, it's 9:30 A.M. Now I wanted to mention that. Anyway, uh, take it away, Frankie!

[tape stops and "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

Chris: You are listening to station KCWC. Everything! And wasn't that a great song, folks? Now right now, we're gonna play another song, except this time we're gonna play a little Christmas song. As a matter of fact, I have a guest star, as a matter of fact, three guest stars here who happen to have sang that song. Can you guess who they are? [pause] I'll tell you then! It's Alvin and the Chipmunks. Let's give 'em a big hand!

[Chris claps]

Chris as one of the chipmunks: [indistinct]

Chris as another chipmunk: You said it!

Chris as the third chipmunk: We're going smoking!

Chris: Say, Alvin, how does it feel to be at station KCWC?

Chris trying to sound like Alvin: Yeah, it's great, man!

Chris: Well, you'd better plug your ears, then, because we're about to play...

[Chris's voice gets cut off as part three ends]

Part IV

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
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Transcription

Chris: ...a Christmas song! I gonna play... [Sings in a sing-song voice] Over the river and through the woods! You like... ya liked that song, didn't cha?

Chris trying to sound like Simon: : Yeaaah, I liked it, but I don't think Alvin does cause it didn't feature his hula hoop! [Annoying laugh] Ah ah ah ahh!

Chris: Heh heh heh, nicely played, Simon. Well, take it away, ya chipmunks, and [indistinct] and go to ya grandmudda hou- grandma's house! Ah ah ah!

[tape stops and a chipmunk rendition of "Over The River And Through The Woods" plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

Chris: Alright, you're listening to everything KCWC. And wasn't those chip- wasn't those chipmunks great? But they had to leave so soon. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Right away, don't forget last summer we got a request from a me- member of the Sonic the Hedg- from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog websites. Her name was Lezzie Lylelesh, [Not sure about this name, someone help?] and she requested that we play the Sonic CD song, "Sonic Boom." And she also requested that we play the long version! So that's what we'll give her, cause we happen to have the copy of the Sega CD game right here. So take it away, Sonic, and give us that booming song! Ah ah!

[tape stops and "Sonic Boom" plays]

Chris: Alright ya'll listenin to the station everything KCWC, and wasn't that a great song, folks? Get down, man! Heh heh! Well, right now, we're gonna play for you: a Disney song! It happens to be from one of my favorite movies, [spoken quickly] as you might have guessed, one of the most popular movies, Toy Story! Yeah, that's right, it's that famous song, "You've Got A Friend In Me." And boy, wasn't that Buzz Lightyear funny, I mean,

Chris trying to sound like Buzz Lightyear: To infinity and beyond!

Chris: Ah, ah, well, anyway, take it away, Buzz and Woody, with that famous song of yours, ah ah!

[tape stops and "You've Got A Friend In Me" plays]

Chris: Now wasn't that a great Disney song, folks? Well, I thought it was great too. But right now we're gonna- take a break from the tunes and take a little commercial break. But first, a word from our sponsor, the "I Love Lucy" show!

Chris trying to sound like Lucy: Hello friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Yes, Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins Meat Vegetables and Minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Tastes just like candy! So why don't you join all the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow! That's Vita-meata-vegamin! (wink)

I love Lucy and she loves me. We're as happy as two can be. Sometimes we quarrel but then... ha ha ha How we love making up again. Lucy kisses like no one can. She's my Mrs. and I'm her man. Life is heaven you see, Cause I love Lucy, and I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!!

Chris: Hey there, all you guys, gals, dudes of all ages! Well, you're listening to the everything KCWC, this is your host, Christian Chandler, and, uh, before we, emm, announce the next song, we're gonna give you our joke of the day! And this joke comes from, ehh, Christopher Chandler from Ruckersville, Virginia! And the joke goes like this.

Chris as his younger self: Why is six afraid of se-

[Chris gets cut off mid-joke as part four ends]

Part V

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
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Part VI

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
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Part VII

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
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