Sonichu 4

My wooden badge was delicious!

A comic of just subepisodes about Chris's love quest and other shit nobody cares about. Chris's narcissism is in full bloom here.

Features

Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"

The Jerkhief accuses Christian of solicitation, forcing Chris to transform into Chris-Chan Sonichu and defend himself with the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha. See Sonichu 0

Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"

Christian meets Hanna, who asks him out for coffee. While planning his wedding, Chris learns from Rosechu that Hanna is trolling him. See Sonichu 1

Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"

Christian attacks Mary Lee Walsh, but she overpowers him and Sonichu (in a rare cameo) has to bail his ass out. See Sonichu 2

Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"

Christian loiters at a McDonald's so long that he is attacked by no less than three manajerks. See Sonichu 3

Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack part 2"

Continuing from Sub-Episode 4, Chris is overpowered by the W-M Manajerk until his ancestor teaches him how to summon his dream sibling Crystal. The twins defeat W-M Manajerk and learn that he was sent by Mary Lee Walsh from PVCC.

Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"

Christian presents a documentary on the various jerkops he has encountered during his Love Quest. Special attention is given to an incident in which Chris is harrassed by a squad of Jerkops until he summons Crystal to flummox them with her feminine wiles. Watching the program, Scotpalazzo decides to order more jerkops from PVCC to oppose Christian.

Sub-Episode 7: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"

A flashback reveals how Christian and Saramah Rosechu defeated Mary Lee Walsh some months ago; Graduon vows to destroy Christian with the strongest, most evil villain ever.

In the present day, Walsh and Graduon give Bagget his first assignment, to attack Christian at the Get-Tar Region. Using a squad of jerkops and his Change-Bot Crackder, Bagget defeats Chris. Bagget's success is less a matter of his superior skill or strategy than the fact that for once no one arrives in the nick of time to rescue Chris--Crystal is unable to fight through the crowd of shoppers to help. In the cliffhanger, Crackder drops Chris from an astonishing height of at least ten feet.

Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target part 2"

Continuing from Sub-Episode 7, Chris's fall is broken by one of Crystal's telekinetic powers. The jerkops decide to dog-pile on Chris, hogtying him and going out of their way to give him severe carpet burns on his face. As Crystal watches on, inexplicably helpless to act, Chris is ferried away by Crackder to PVCC, marking the first time the villains have ever actually subdued and captured him.

Will Chris lose his virginity at last?

While Crystal tracks Bagget as Crystalina Rosechu, Chris is presented before Mary Lee Walsh, hogtied on a silver platter with an apple in his mouth. After pointlessly re-enacting the trial scene from Transformers: The Movie, Walsh and the Jerkhief drop Chris in a vat of indeteriminate liquid. Chris is finally rescued by Crystalina, who saves him from falling into...something, and battles Walsh's forces singlehandedly. Without the power to help his sister, Christian experiences another vision of his ancestor, who offers words of encouragement to re-energize him. Finally able to transform into Chris-Chan Sonichu, Chris and his sister form up as Chrs-Chan Pure and use the Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance to destroy the crystal ball maintainng Walsh's control of PVCC. Walsh and Graduon escape to Manchester High School to rebuild their power base.

Extra

• Awful hand-drawn MySpace from Sonichu #3 recycled.

Not bathing - the secret to attracting women.

• Hand-drawn advert for Axe deodorant.