User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here

Hello, you've reached The Mad Butcher of (insert country here). Between my crazed murdering sprees in [DATA EXPUNGED] (a very pretty city, you should go there) my bi-weekly prostitute garottings in [CONFIDENTIAL], my weekly jog/decapitation out in the lovely town of [REDACTED], and my longtime favorite hobby, [OH DEAR GOD NO WE HAVE STANDARDS] out in scenic [CENSORED TO PRESERVE SANITY], I have been researching the story of this being you refer to as Mr. Chandler as a means to pass the time.

Okay, okay, I'll be serious. I am a musician who specializes in IDM/braindance, breakcore and power electronics, with forays into other genres as well. It can be safely said that I have one of the loosest definitions of the term "music" one can get without without a big bag of pot. I'm into comedy, especially comic review shows. I'm not as big a Sonic fan as I used to be, but I still have a soft spot for the Pokémon franchise, even if I've ultimately had a falling-out with it.

My first Chris-Chan themed incident was in middle-school, circa spring of 2005. My middle school has Nintendo Power as part of its subscription, and I found his letter in one of the issues. At the time, I thought nothing of it, having no idea who the writer was. I didn't even think it was all that odd. What? I was just a kid.

• clears throat* No, cursed adversaries, it gets much worse...

Here are my tags:

Agnostic This user is agnostic and is highly skeptical of your claims about deities.

Alec Benson Leary This user is a proud member of Alec Benson Leary's true and honest fanbase.

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!

Ass Burger This user has Asperger's Syndrome and tries to take the Shine and Limelight away from True Autistics.

(No, I'm not self-diagnosed, I swear.)

Clyde Cash This user supports Clyde Cash, who is a true Patriot.

(His David Tanny parodies are also good.)

Evan This user feels sorry for Evan and his drilled off dick.

Ham This user is a HUMONGOUS HAM and enjoys the fine art of MELODRAMA!

Hikikomori This user should SUCK IT UP and DIVE RIGHT IN to the public scene.

JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls.

Liquid Chris This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler.

Observer This user is taking it Easy. They have followed Chris-Chan's movements, but hasn't contributed to the trolling efforts.

PS2 This user owns one of the many PS2 systems that isn't covered in Pixelblocks and Legos.

(It makes a good DVD player.)

STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. The men like dykes and china while the women like pickles & balls. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos.

Transcriber This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.

(Ya can't lose what ya never had.)

Virgin with rage Like Chris, this user feels lonely, and is currently looking for a Boyfriend-free girl, or possibly a Girlfriend-free boy.

(What? I can't even legally drink yet.)

Vivian Gee This user applauds Vivian Gee for actually making something funny out of Sonichu.

(She wrote A Girl Who Brought Down the
World, for fuck's sake!)

White This user is white and finds Chris's race relations embarrassing.

Wii This user owns a Wii, complete with a magic wand, and would do anything to get into Shigeru Miyamoto's pants.