Difference between revisions of "Sonichu Entertainment of America"

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==Reason for Creation==
==Reason for Creation==
[[Chris and the industry|Most people]] start a small business to provide services and innovation.  Although Chris wants to expand his clientele, his reason was out of shear laziness due to the [[stress| stresses]] in life. After [[Please, Donate|begging]] a few days prior to the launch, Chris decides that it would be better to hire some henchmen to do his bidding. His other reason was to focus more on drawing the comics as well as focusing on his transition from being a Female Lesbian Soul to Full Woman Lesbian.  The biggest reason of all is getting [[china|china]].
[[Chris and the industry|Most people]] start a small business to provide services and innovation.  Although Chris wants to expand his clientele, the chief reason for the formation of the business is because producing the insipid crap to sell online is starting to feel a bit like work, and he wants some henchmen to do the actual work for him. Watching the "launch" video reveals in very short order that he wants any and all employees to be women so he can fuck them, although of course Chris claims his aim was to focus more on drawing the comics as well as focusing on his transition from being a Female Lesbian Soul to Full Woman Lesbian.   


==Help Wanted==
==Help Wanted==
Chris's recruitment techniques are strange at best and creepy as hell at worst.  He is looking for art professionals that could recreate [[Chris and art|his masterpieces]] and sell them.
Chris is in essence looking for artists who could reproduce [[Chris and art|his masterpieces]] and sell them, Chris naturally believing that a career artist would be required to reproduce his hideous childish art.
==Positions and Job Descriptions==
==Positions and Job Descriptions==
===Artist===
===''Artist''===
An artist would create the Amiibos and medallions.  Basically, it is just an assembly worker making Sonichu crap.
An "artist" would create the Amiibos and medallions.  Basically an assembly worker making Sonichu crap.
====Description====
====Description====
*Learn from Chris-chan about assembling Amiibos and medallions.
*"Learn" from Chris-chan about assembling Amiibos and medallions.
*Create potential prototypes
*Create potential prototypes
*Collaborate with Chris about new ideas
*Collaborate with Chris about new ideas
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*Love and adore the adventures of Sonichu and Rosechu
*Love and adore the adventures of Sonichu and Rosechu
*Be experienced with arts and crafts
*Be experienced with arts and crafts
*[[Chris and English|Eighth grade reading level]]
*[[R.L. Stine|Eighth grade reading level]]
*Have similar traits to Chris-chan but [[Chris and his ego|not in totality]]
*Have similar traits to Chris-chan but [[Chris and his ego|not in totality]]
===Animators/Video production assistants===
===''Animators/Video production assistants''===
This position would help with creating the animated or CGI Sonichu cartoon series and hopefully not end up like the [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue-armed bandit]].
This position would help with creating the animated or CGI Sonichu cartoon series and hopefully not end up like the [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue-armed bandit]].
====Description====
====Description====
*Create a cartoon or CGI animated Sonichu cartoon with Chris having total creative control and voices himself and Sonichu himself.
*Create a cartoon or CGI animated Sonichu cartoon with Chris having total creative control and voicing himself and Sonichu.
====Qualifications====
====Qualifications====
*[[CADD|Be able to make a cartoon]]
*[[CADD|Be able to make a cartoon]]
===Romantic coordinator===
===''Romantic coordinator''===
A romantic coordinator is a [[Hooker incident|professional matchmaker]] that Chris would actually pay for and [[Honest Content|trust]].  He is too lazy to do it because of his autism and is too [[Mass debating|busy]].
A romantic coordinator is a [[Hooker incident|professional matchmaker]] that Chris would actually pay for and [[Honest Content|trust]].  He claimed he was too [[Mass debating|busy]] to handle this himself. He mentioned that his "associate" wrote this section, in what is an obvious lie but a rare instance of Chris being seen to have shame.
====Description====
====Description====
*Compete with the lesbian love market and find Chris a [[sweetheart]]
*Compete with the lesbian love market and find Chris a [[sweetheart]]
*Create a course in women's self-defense/martial arts, [[Date Ed|dating education]], and lesbian sexual positions.
*Create a course in women's self-defense/martial arts, [[Date Ed|dating education]], and lesbian sexual positions.
*Escort Chris in certain [[Fridays After Five|public events]]
*Escort Chris in certain [[Fridays After Five|public events]]
*Fight against trolls
*Fight against trolls
====Qualifications====
====Qualifications====
*Be [[Chris and health|fit and in shape]]
*Be [[Chris and health|fit and in shape]]
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Anyone interested could send a Youtube video as a video resume or send [[Chris's resume|a resume]] to his gmail account.
Anyone interested could send a Youtube video as a video resume or send [[Chris's resume|a resume]] to his gmail account.


If Chris wants more than 3 people, he would have no money for himself or for the capital that he needs to create more Amiibos and medallions.  IF the employee is a female, then the bonus would be being Chris's sweetheart from the ground up and giving birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]].
Chris would be paying these people 25% of all profit each, presumably meaning if he had any more than three employees he wouldn't be making any money himself (and what existing profit there is is less than a single person could live on, let alone several people). Although the "artist" and animator positions were advertised to people of either sex, Chris very obviously wants to work with women so he can seduce them.


There are so many problems with Chris's approach to [[Attraction Sign|recruiting new employees]]. It is highly unprofessional to allude to romantic advances as a suppose perk of the position.  Not only would that creep out potential employees, it would also be considered [[Chris and the law|sexual harassment]] especially with Chris's history [[Catherine|with]] [[Megan|dating]]. What's surprising about all this is that Chris is opening most of the positions to [[Jerks|men]] with only the romantic coordinator being a female-only position which again could bring up a sexual harassment case.
There are more than a few problems with the creation and advertisement of these positions. It is highly unprofessional to allude to romantic advances as a suppose perk of the position.  Not only would that creep out potential employees, it would also be considered [[Chris and the law|sexual harassment]] especially with Chris's history [[Catherine|with]] [[Megan|dating]]. What's surprising about all this is that Chris is opening most of the positions to [[Jerks|men]] with only the romantic coordinator being a female-only position which again could bring up a sexual harassment case.


==Future==
==Future==
Given that Chris's lucrative Etsy empire has been supported by rubberneckers, weens and fans alike, it's possible that Chris's latest enterprise may well survive for at least a year, provided that the 'romantic coordinator' role doesn't provoke [[Jerkops|the law]] into investigating Chris's thinly-veiled attempt at grabbing some [[China]].
There is no chance whatsoever of anybody applying for these positions as a serious job venture. There is, however, an extreme likelihood that [[trolls]] will use these job "opportunities" as chances to get close to Chris, which Chris hasn't realised, naturally. As an actual business, even with Chris as its only employee, it is doomed - aside from negligible profits, Chris is plagiarising literal hundreds of instances of intellectual property, and while he's being doing that for years, now he's actually trying to profit off of it.

Revision as of 00:07, 25 April 2016

Let's make Sonichu and Rosechu great again!
Christian Weston Chandler for President

Sonichu Entertainment of America (SEA) is Chris's small business company that started on April 16th, 2016. It is a pre-IPO, global entertainment and media company which will be hosted by Zazzle selling fun for the whole family. This is a step up for Chris taking advantage of his Internet fame and his original creation. Sonichu Entertainment of America is an Equal Opportunity employer. It is (by Chris's logic) an 8A woman-owned small business. Products would include the usual stuff he sells in Etsy as well as T-shirts, hats, mugs, and other products.

Reason for Creation

Most people start a small business to provide services and innovation. Although Chris wants to expand his clientele, the chief reason for the formation of the business is because producing the insipid crap to sell online is starting to feel a bit like work, and he wants some henchmen to do the actual work for him. Watching the "launch" video reveals in very short order that he wants any and all employees to be women so he can fuck them, although of course Chris claims his aim was to focus more on drawing the comics as well as focusing on his transition from being a Female Lesbian Soul to Full Woman Lesbian.

Help Wanted

Chris is in essence looking for artists who could reproduce his masterpieces and sell them, Chris naturally believing that a career artist would be required to reproduce his hideous childish art.

Positions and Job Descriptions

Artist

An "artist" would create the Amiibos and medallions. Basically an assembly worker making Sonichu crap.

Description

  • "Learn" from Chris-chan about assembling Amiibos and medallions.
  • Create potential prototypes
  • Collaborate with Chris about new ideas

Qualifications

Animators/Video production assistants

This position would help with creating the animated or CGI Sonichu cartoon series and hopefully not end up like the blue-armed bandit.

Description

  • Create a cartoon or CGI animated Sonichu cartoon with Chris having total creative control and voicing himself and Sonichu.

Qualifications

Romantic coordinator

A romantic coordinator is a professional matchmaker that Chris would actually pay for and trust. He claimed he was too busy to handle this himself. He mentioned that his "associate" wrote this section, in what is an obvious lie but a rare instance of Chris being seen to have shame.

Description

  • Compete with the lesbian love market and find Chris a sweetheart
  • Create a course in women's self-defense/martial arts, dating education, and lesbian sexual positions.
  • Escort Chris in certain public events
  • Fight against trolls

Qualifications

Salary and benefits

  • 25% of the profits.
  • Exclusive access to Christian Weston Chandler himself
  • Talks of collaboration
  • Access to private company promotions, conventions, and company slumber parties (tbd)
  • Chance of romantic encounter with the boss

Anyone interested could send a Youtube video as a video resume or send a resume to his gmail account.

Chris would be paying these people 25% of all profit each, presumably meaning if he had any more than three employees he wouldn't be making any money himself (and what existing profit there is is less than a single person could live on, let alone several people). Although the "artist" and animator positions were advertised to people of either sex, Chris very obviously wants to work with women so he can seduce them.

There are more than a few problems with the creation and advertisement of these positions. It is highly unprofessional to allude to romantic advances as a suppose perk of the position. Not only would that creep out potential employees, it would also be considered sexual harassment especially with Chris's history with dating. What's surprising about all this is that Chris is opening most of the positions to men with only the romantic coordinator being a female-only position which again could bring up a sexual harassment case.

Future

There is no chance whatsoever of anybody applying for these positions as a serious job venture. There is, however, an extreme likelihood that trolls will use these job "opportunities" as chances to get close to Chris, which Chris hasn't realised, naturally. As an actual business, even with Chris as its only employee, it is doomed - aside from negligible profits, Chris is plagiarising literal hundreds of instances of intellectual property, and while he's being doing that for years, now he's actually trying to profit off of it.