B-Manajerk

B-Manajerk is a villain featured in Sonichu #3 and 4. He is one of the few villains Chris has managed to defeat single-handedly.

B-Manajerk in Real Life

Little is known about the B-Manajerk, including his real name. What little information is available comes to us from Chris's records of their first two encounters.

Based on a True Story

"June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the McDonald's at Wal-Mart, and apparently complaints were made. The two manajerkss, a Seinor Comic, and a Black, Fat Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the Jerkops at the Mall, whom I refer to now as the Jerkhief) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl, like I have been doing for the past over one-year and ten-months. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the sign from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my Pixelblock sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off." --Christian Weston Chandler

Presumably, B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart, or a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic." One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonalds, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with Pixelblocks. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.

From Chris's account, we can infer that the B-Manajerk was most likely a very sensible, though possibly overweight, African-American male, who takes pride in his business and doesn't want smelly weirdos sitting around his restaurant playing with toys and begging for pussy.

It is possible that the "B" in "B-Manajerk" stands for "black". Since no fewer than three managers interfered with his agenda that day, he most likely used these appellations to tell them apart in his story. Otherwise, we're left to conclude that "B" somehow stands for "McDonald's", which isn't entirely beyond the realm of possibility for Chris.

Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, 2005, Chris took revenge in the only way he could by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his fantasy life.

McAttack

Video Game B-Manajerk

Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions

The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in Sonichu #3 and reused in Sonichu #4. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonalds, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "Mal-Wart Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, vaguely reminiscent of Goldar from "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers". He wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the Jerkheif, as Chris describes in his journal entry. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using Mecha-Jerkops on loan from the Jerkheif.

Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and Darkbind Sonichu comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu, and the "anime wings" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the power-up from Super Mario 64. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his Love Quest and the absolute necessity of his Attraction Sign.

The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of Sonichu #7, when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where Mary Lee Walsh announced Chris's disappearance into the time void.

Powers

In addition to his flight-enabling armor, the B-Manajerk is armed with a pair of large guns, and a golden battle axe.

Weaknesses

Pixelblocks.

See Also

• Manajerks
• Niggos