Allison Amber
Allison Amber is Chris's secretary in the Sonichu comics. She was introduced in Sonichu #6 to explain how Chris can run CWCville without actually doing any work.
Backstory
In Episode 12.5, Chris introduced his dog Patti to the storyline by having her magically transformed into the talking, bipedal Patti-Chan. Chris took her to his mayoral office in CWCville, where she could run free among all the other furfags without grossing anyone out.
| “ | Not only is it a home-away-from-home, but every city document, every public decision, every single fun event that goes on in this community are all planned and stored here in these four walls. | ” |
| Chris, describing his communist hallucinations to his dead dog | ||
Writing this part of the story must have forced Chris to give serious thought to his fictional duties as mayor, in light of the events of Sonichu 4, where he was shown mostly sitting around in various shops and fast food places goofing off and praying for women to notice him. Typical of Chris's thought process, he quickly realized the solution to this plot hole: He has his secretary do everything for him.
Enter Allison Amber, a former movie star who retired in her 20s to pursue her dream of working as a mayoral aide. This would be an interesting premise, except Chris has no interest in exploring the irony of a successful movie star aspiring to be a humble secretary. Instead, this seems to just be more window dressing for Chris's fantasy life of having the ultimate goal of any woman be submissive to him. Not only does he have super powers, not only does he rule a whole city like a king, but he's also got a movie star handling his paperwork.
According to Sonichu #6, Allison is 26 years old, white, and blonde. One would wonder why he doesn't just go out with her instead of getting arrested for loitering at Target, so Chris established that Allison is currently "in a relationship with her... ugh... boyfriend." Observers at first assumed that Chris still had too much pride to create a fictitious sexual partner for himself, but such optimism has since been scuttled.
Quite possibly the most depressing character in the series. Because, let's face it, the only thing more pathetic than being Christian Weston Chandler would have to be being his assistant. This makes Allison a popular character in troll works, usually played up as a sensible woman who grudgingly tolerates Chris's madness.
Duties
As Chris explains to Patti, Allison receives "incoming documents", looks them over, and then explains the gist of them to Chris over the phone. She then scans the documents, and uploads them to the "CWCville Sattelite", which relays the information to Chris's Nintendo DS, which apparently has Wi-Fi capabilities as well as P.D.A. functions. Chris can then read the documents for himself on the DS, and sign off on them using the touchscreen and stylus. The documents are then sent back to Amber, who prints them off with Chris's signature.
Alternately, Allison could just forge Chris's signature and save a lot of time and trouble, but she probably sends a few over to Chris just to make him feel important.
In addition to clerical work, Allison also prepared a cell phone and credit card for Patti to use in her new life in CWCville. Chris instructed Patti to call either himself or Allison in case of emergencies, so it's a safe bet Allison's the one who's actually going to have to look after Patti and pick up her shit.
In Sonichu #7, Chris was stranded indefinitely in the void of time. Upon learning this, Rosechu indicated that Allison would be able to "handle city decisions" in his absence, presumably making her the de facto Deputy Mayor. She appears again in Sonichu #8, apparently weary of her newfound responsibilities.
In the CWCipedia, Chris clarifies that Allison has actually been the Vice-Mayor the whole time, but apparently because she's a woman she has to settle for the lowly title of Secretary. Chris also clarifies that "NO FAVORS OF ANY KIND WENT ON Between [him] and her," correctly deducing that we would all assume he would use his authority as mayor to force himself on the nearest pretty girl. Oh, and this information all appears on the BILLY MAYS article, because Chris won't waste the time to create a CWCi article on a woman.
For no obvious reason, Allison has a picture of Batman hanging on the wall behind her desk. This may be an oblique reference to "Family Guy", which features "Batman" star Adam West as a mayor, but this seems pretty subtle for Chris. It could be that Allison Amber, given her alliterative name, is a reference to superhero love interests/female assistants, like Pepper Potts of Iron Man and Lois Lane of Superman, and showing Batman is some weird way of pointing that out even though he has no love interest akin to those examples. In all likelihood, though, Chris doesn't care about Batman as a comic book character, and just has his picture back there because he was in a successful movie. Allison, being a former movie star, would obviously have a Batman poster. Unless her boyfriend just is Batman.
Trivia
The Batman picture might be a reference to how Allison is like Lucius Fox, an assistant that does all her superior's work while he is out fighting crime, but in Allison's case, fighting crime is wanking.
- Allison Amber appears on Chris's "One Girl Coupon", a sort of sex coupon that entitles the bearer to one girlfriend, and the recipients must "do anything necessary." Golden showers, Cleveland steamers, and going Greek may still be extra though. This ticket is absolute proof that Chris is not a sexist. Also note that it says "of any desired age."
WARNING: Presenting this coupon to about 99.9% of girls will earn you at least five kicks to at least five areas below the waist, and you may find yourself placed on the sex offender registry. Always.
