User:Dkaien/Sandbox

Dreams

Nowadays, it is widely accepted that dreams can provide valuable insight into the mind of the dreamer. While they provide, at best, a warped reflection of what goes on in the unconscious mind, dreams are nevertheless made up of more than just random, meaningless images.

Chris adheres to a simpler, primitive belief in the significance of dreams. It's part and parcel of his religious mysticism - he believes his dreams are messages from God. Dreams, in Chris's mind, provide accurate portents of the future, and much of his strange behavior can be connected to his attempts to make these dreams into reality.

Theory

Chris has often claimed that his dreams represent communications from the divine. On IRC, when asked about his purpose in life, he explained it like so: "To eventually be married to my Sweetheart, then give birth and raise my daughter, as God has pointed it out for me in my dream." Likewise, when PandaHalo asked him why he wanted a daughter so bad, he said, "it was fortold to me in multiple dreams."

During the Father Call, when Matthew Devoria pointed out that his belief in prophetic dreams was both highly unlikely and potentially blasphemous, Chris was willing to back off from some of the weirder implications of his philosophy -- "I am not saying that I am a prophet," he admitted. However, he continued to cling to the belief that his dreams represent the future. "I'm not saying that it is the definite future," he explained, "but that it is a POSSIBLE future."

Significant dreams

Chris has discussed several of his more important or influential dreams in many of his comics, chats, and videos. There may be a great many more that he's never felt like sharing with the outside world, so this section is by no means comprehensive, but it should at least provide a basic overview of the sort of prophecies Chris believes that he receives.

The Crystal dream

By far the most significant of Chris's dreams is this one, where he saw himself married to an unspecified woman and raising a daughter named Crystal. This represents the genesis of his Love Quest, or at any rate his favorite excuse. When he's not willing to admit that what he really wants is pussy, Chris claims that his search for a sweetheart is intended to fulfill God's will and produce his prophesied daughter.

“	You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be Crystal.	”
Chris, during the Father Call.

Chris, always one to share too much personal information during conversations with strangers, sometimes brings up the Crystal dream while introducing himself to people. In one of his Facebook conversations, he sent a new contact the following question: "Do you know any 18-25-year old single women who might like me? I would appreciate any help I can get in finding the one who would be my Sweetheart, and help me realize my dream of me fathering a pretty daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler."

Some of Chris's discussions of the Crystal dream contradict each other on one key point. In earlier conversations, he's claimed that the dream took place when he was around 21 years old. During the Father Call, however, he very clearly stated that he had the dream when he was in elementary school, between seven and nine years old.

The Blanca dream

During the late summer and early fall of 2008, Chris wildly ping-ponged back and forth between a number of potential sweethearts, including PandaHalo, Sarah Jackson, and Blanca Weiss. On September 29, however, he finally settled on Blanca, having supposedly experienced a dream where he met her in the lobby of a Charlottesville hotel.

Chris describes the dream in some detail in his e-mails to Blanca, as well as the letter he sent to her along with his medallions.

“	I FINALLY HAD my Dream that I have been waiting for for soo long; the dream revealing the name of my Sweetheart-to-be. the scenario was simply, after talking to her over the internet, I went to the local Hotel to meet her, and her name came up Often, and was Burned into my Memory and my Heart...SHE is YOU. :) YOU, Blanca Weiss, ARE MY SWEETHEART-TO-BE!	”
Chris, falling for it on a number of levels.

He also mentioned the dream on his blog, claiming that "God and Jesus have revealed to me the name of my True, Honest Sweetheart-To-Be." Three weeks later, the object of Chris's divinely-inspired love dumped him.

The PandaHalo dream

Although breaking up with Blanca temporarily sent Chris crashing into slumber, he recovered from the trauma quickly enough with the aid of his dear friend PandaHalo. By mid-November, he was having wet dreams about her and sharing the details on IRC:

“	During my most recent dream, You were in it. You were alone in your apartment; I had just run in to see you. We talked for a bit, but then you and I, we made out, then got naked and lost our virgin ways to each other. It got soo goodly hot and wild, that I came in my sleep over you.	”
Chris, traumatizing a chatroom full of trolls.

If this particular dream also happened to be a prophecy, GodJesus must have gotten his wires crossed. Chris never met Panda in person, and had more or less gotten over her long before she allegedly died early in 2009.

Minor dreams

The Sonic on Game Boy dream

In the Song of Christian, Chris claims to have experienced a dream involving a Sonic the Hedgehog game for Nintendo's Game Boy handheld. According to the Sonichu Chronicles, it took place in June of 1997. This, he says, is what inspired the "Sonic Dumps Sega, Joins Nintendo" cover story on his Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine, as well as the many half-assed knockoff Sonic game concepts inside of it. He also wrote a letter to the real Nintendo Power describing the dream.

High school dreams

During his date with Emily, Chris mentioned recurring dreams about his days at Manchester High School. Given that his high school days were the last time Chris had anything like real friends or a fulfilling social life, it's no surprise that he often revisits them in his dreams. He describes the dreams in a very wistful, nostalgic tone: "I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends... there."

Chris also added that Megan Schroeder sometimes appears in his dreams of high school, even though he didn't meet her until well after he graduated and returned home to Ruckersville. Clearly, his unconscious mind is cobbling together an amalgam of all his fondest memories.

The Pamela dream

During his chats with (someone he believed to be) Vanessa Hudgens, Chris cited a dream that taught him a useful moral lesson. Supposedly, during the long months of the Megan Saga, Chris had a dream where he "had to choose" between his TRUE and HONEST love for Megan Schroeder and his temporary lust for TV star Pamela Anderson. "I stuck by my morals and went for Megan," Chris explained. "And because the same is being applied between you and Ivy, I am going to remain strong and true and stay with Ivy."

Given that he never got any from Megan, of course, in retrospect the sensible choice would have been to go for Pamela. Here's to the path not taken.

The acid factory dream

Chris has a habit of bringing up traumatic experiences from his past on the least provocation, usually as a way of fishing for sympathy. (One example would be the time he was allegedly sat on and trussed up in elementary school, which he began screaming about out of nowhere during the Father Call.)

In Mailbag 39, responding to a question that attempted to reason with him about his hatred of Asperchu, Chris dove off along a tangent and described a particularly picturesque nightmare.

“	That Is A NIGHTMARE to me, EVEN WORSE than the nightmare I had where I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, going through BURNING OVENS, coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.	”
Your guess is as good as ours.

It's worth noting that Chris doesn't describe or discuss his nightmares very often. He does have them, though. (I'll Never Leave You, Ivy mentions "bad dreams in the night" that his love for Ivy apparently saved him from.)