26 December 2014

26 December 2014 was probably the busiest day in Chris's life since he graduated, and is essentially 28 October 2011 all over again. Once again, Chris is in trouble with the law, and once again, it involves assaulting staff at a video game store. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

Synopsis

Main article: GameStop Assault

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a GameStop employee on 27 December.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the Fashion Square Mall with the purpose of vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of purple toy sunglasses as a "disguise". Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about "letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to "Don't call anybody!" as if he deserved to be shielded from the consequences of his actions. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of altercation with a man in the parking lot (possibly an attempted carjacking), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist and get sympathy out of his white knights.

Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.

On 28 December, a member of the CWCki Forums contacted Albemarle Regional Jail and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

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Aftermath

A followup call from a 4chan troll revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of 28 October 2011. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in deep shit financially, having squandered their inheritance from Bob on hiring Rob Bell after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time, almost certainly more serious ones.

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his tugboat, perhaps even his home, or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help is also in question, and obviously greatly hoped for.

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off - for example, Snyder decided to seek leniency for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, put together a care package for him after the house fire, and for the duration of 2014, Chris's white knights are the gift that has just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris simply expects to be bailed out. If he has to do a span in jail to learn a lesson, so be it (as long as he's not inside for so long we get a drought of content, of course).

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public, it'll more likely simply resuscitate his old grudge against police and retail workers.

See also

• Chris and the law
• 29 December 2014