Difference between revisions of "Chris Chan in the PokéNews"

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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{Quote|I'll switch- I'll put out my Dragonair...even though it has sixty damage on it... Oh, boy, now I have three energy on it. Slam Attack!|Chris}}


'''"Chris Chan in the PokéNews"''', one segment of [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC on TV'']] DVD, was filmed 16 October [[1999]] and aired on [[Richmond]]'s [[Wikipedia:NBC|NBC]] affiliate, [[Wikipedia:WWBT|WWBT]].


The local news media did a fluff piece on the rise of the ''[[Pokémon]]'' fandom, which is popular among small children, [[Pedofork|suspicious-looking men]], and [[Christian Weston Chandler|emotionally-stunted manchildren]]. Chris (then aged 17) happens to be among the small children playing the game. The cameraman seems to linger on him for an abnormally long amount of time, perhaps not used to [[Honest Content|the thing he's seeing]].


Chris lists his tenure playing ''Pokémon'' cards with children half his age on his [[resume]], and implies that he volunteered at Books-A-Million.


==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name          = Chris Chan in the PokéNews
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|vcKsEo52kC8}}
| stardate      = 16 October [[1999]]
| maker          = WWBT
| subject        = {{Television|text}}
| shirt          = {{PokeShirt|text}}
| other          = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous      = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Part_2|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
| next          = [[The_City_of_Cwicville_Tour!#Watch|The City of Cwicville Tour!]]
}}


===Transcript===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, age 17, dressed as [[Chris and fashion|Ash Ketchum]], plays a children's card game.]]
'''Female Newscaster:''' Well, if you have grade-schoolers in the house, you'll probably be interested in this next report, and if you don't, ''you'' can learn about a craze that's been sweeping the nation. NBC 12 reporter Jim Babb marched into the marketing breach today to bring us this story of ''Pokémon''.


[''A small boy is trading ''Pokémon'' cards with another small boy.'']


'''Small Boy:''' I'll trade you thi...uh...holograph for a Japanese holograph.


[''A woman is shown scanning booster packs of trading cards at a cash register.'']


[''Jim Babb interviews a small boy with a large binder full of ''Pokemon'' cards.'']


'''Babb:''' You've got hundreds of these cards.


'''Boy:''' I got- yeah, some... Yeah, and I've got a lot more at home.


'''Babb:''' ''[to small boy in orange athletic jersey]'' So, tell me, why do you like ''Pokémon''?


'''Boy:''' I dunno.


<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
'''Babb:''' You're not sure why you like it, but you do, right?


'''Boy:''' Yeah.


[''A brief clip from the ''Pokémon'' [[animu]] is shown while Babb narrates. Later, footage of Books-A-Million is shown.'']


'''Babb:''' Like so many other fads, it got started with a kids' TV show. And, now, ''Pokémon'' is a marketing phenomenon. Kids and parents line up every Saturday at this Chesterfield County bookstore, and they dig deep.


'''Babb:''' [''to woman with handful of booster packs''] How much did all of this cost?


'''Woman:''' $30 with a discount.


'''Babb:''' Then the games begin, with byzantine rules.


[''A crowd of small children plays the ''Pokémon'' trading card game on the shop floor.'']


'''Babb:''' [''to [[niggo]] boy''] So how do you explain the game?


'''Niggo Boy:''' I can't explain; it's too long!


[''Suddenly, the camera lingers on a much older boy, who looks 16-18 years old. He is clad in an ill-fitting, blue long-sleeve shirt, under a yellow T-shirt, under a blue vest. A red and white baseball cap and a sports bottle rest next to him. He is playing the ''Pokémon'' card game with small children.'']
[[File:0d970929359504c420d683d-177.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]


<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'll switch- I'll put out my Dragonair...even though it has sixty damage on it... Oh, boy, now I have three energy on it. Slam Attack!


'''Babb:''' [''to niggo boy''] So, if you had the time to tell me, I wouldn't understand it?


'''Niggo Boy:''' No.


<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
'''[[Pedofork|40-year-old Man]] with [[Pedoglasses|Rapist Glasses]] and Molester Mustache:''' I'm— I'm watching and I still have no clue. [''laughs'']


'''Babb:''' And think about this: this kind of thing is happening in bookstores and toy stores all around the country. If you hadn't known it before, know it now: ''Pokémon'' is ''big''.


'''Randy Cost:''' The biggest trend in kids' toy history, it's multi-multi-billion dollars.


'''Woman:''' It's money. Big time money.


'''Babb:''' You wish you invested?


'''Woman:''' Yeah, that's true! [''laughs'']


'''Boy:''' [''holds up card''] Jolteon!


'''Babb:''' Jolteon.


'''Boy:''' Mmm-hmm!


'''Babb:''' What's special about Jolteon?


'''Boy:''' He's holographic!


'''Babb:''' In Chesterfield County, I'm Jim Babb, NBC 12.


'''Female Newscaster:''' And those little cards aren't cheap; [[Michael Snyder|some merchants]] charge three bucks for a booster pack of— [''Video ends with a picture Chris created of a large Pikachu entering a Pokémon Center.'']


 
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]|nextlink=[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]|}}
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{{CWC on TV}}
 
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
 
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Revision as of 01:46, 28 September 2011

I'll switch- I'll put out my Dragonair...even though it has sixty damage on it... Oh, boy, now I have three energy on it. Slam Attack!
Chris

"Chris Chan in the PokéNews", one segment of Chris's CWC on TV DVD, was filmed 16 October 1999 and aired on Richmond's NBC affiliate, WWBT.

The local news media did a fluff piece on the rise of the Pokémon fandom, which is popular among small children, suspicious-looking men, and emotionally-stunted manchildren. Chris (then aged 17) happens to be among the small children playing the game. The cameraman seems to linger on him for an abnormally long amount of time, perhaps not used to the thing he's seeing.

Chris lists his tenure playing Pokémon cards with children half his age on his resume, and implies that he volunteered at Books-A-Million.

Video

Chris Chan in the PokéNews
Search for video YouTube, archive
Stardate 16 October 1999
Subject Matter TelevisionTelevision Television
Shirt PokéShirtPokéShirt PokéShirt
Other LeakedLeaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
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Transcript

Chris, age 17, dressed as Ash Ketchum, plays a children's card game.

Female Newscaster: Well, if you have grade-schoolers in the house, you'll probably be interested in this next report, and if you don't, you can learn about a craze that's been sweeping the nation. NBC 12 reporter Jim Babb marched into the marketing breach today to bring us this story of Pokémon.

[A small boy is trading Pokémon cards with another small boy.]

Small Boy: I'll trade you thi...uh...holograph for a Japanese holograph.

[A woman is shown scanning booster packs of trading cards at a cash register.]

[Jim Babb interviews a small boy with a large binder full of Pokemon cards.]

Babb: You've got hundreds of these cards.

Boy: I got- yeah, some... Yeah, and I've got a lot more at home.

Babb: [to small boy in orange athletic jersey] So, tell me, why do you like Pokémon?

Boy: I dunno.

Babb: You're not sure why you like it, but you do, right?

Boy: Yeah.

[A brief clip from the Pokémon animu is shown while Babb narrates. Later, footage of Books-A-Million is shown.]

Babb: Like so many other fads, it got started with a kids' TV show. And, now, Pokémon is a marketing phenomenon. Kids and parents line up every Saturday at this Chesterfield County bookstore, and they dig deep.

Babb: [to woman with handful of booster packs] How much did all of this cost?

Woman: $30 with a discount.

Babb: Then the games begin, with byzantine rules.

[A crowd of small children plays the Pokémon trading card game on the shop floor.]

Babb: [to niggo boy] So how do you explain the game?

Niggo Boy: I can't explain; it's too long!

[Suddenly, the camera lingers on a much older boy, who looks 16-18 years old. He is clad in an ill-fitting, blue long-sleeve shirt, under a yellow T-shirt, under a blue vest. A red and white baseball cap and a sports bottle rest next to him. He is playing the Pokémon card game with small children.]

Artist's depiction.

Chris: I'll switch- I'll put out my Dragonair...even though it has sixty damage on it... Oh, boy, now I have three energy on it. Slam Attack!

Babb: [to niggo boy] So, if you had the time to tell me, I wouldn't understand it?

Niggo Boy: No.

40-year-old Man with Rapist Glasses and Molester Mustache: I'm— I'm watching and I still have no clue. [laughs]

Babb: And think about this: this kind of thing is happening in bookstores and toy stores all around the country. If you hadn't known it before, know it now: Pokémon is big.

Randy Cost: The biggest trend in kids' toy history, it's multi-multi-billion dollars.

Woman: It's money. Big time money.

Babb: You wish you invested?

Woman: Yeah, that's true! [laughs]

Boy: [holds up card] Jolteon!

Babb: Jolteon.

Boy: Mmm-hmm!

Babb: What's special about Jolteon?

Boy: He's holographic!

Babb: In Chesterfield County, I'm Jim Babb, NBC 12.

Female Newscaster: And those little cards aren't cheap; some merchants charge three bucks for a booster pack of— [Video ends with a picture Chris created of a large Pikachu entering a Pokémon Center.]

Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway Chris's videos The City of Cwicville Tour!
Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

Regular DVD: Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes • "Song of Christian" • Mario Kart 64 Lego RacewayChris Chan in the PokéNewsThe City of Cwicville Tour!Animal Crossing DocumentaryThe 24th Wedding Anniversary Special • "So Need a Cute Girl" • "All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend" • Harvey Birdman commercialPixelated PS3FUTURE MESSAGEKCWC broadcastCWC Slideshow NotesSlideshow images
Director's Cut: ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004ChrisAfterChristmas2004