Third date

PROTIP: Chris has never actually made it to the third date. He has a higher chance of dating someone three times versus getting laid, but neither of these things are going to happen.

Bionic looks forward to his third date with Megagi in Sonichu 7 (Chris, for once in his life, reacts the way anybody would to Bionic's faggotry)

The third date is the date upon which Chris believes hanky-panky must occur.

Background

Chris has often shown that he wants to quantify things which, by the rest of the world's standards, can't be measured with numbers or any other exact reckoning. His heart level and his Scale of Respect are key examples. In the same way, despite the fact that in his entire life he has only been on two dates (and they were both troll setups), he has mapped out his dating plans precisely. The first two dates are spent getting to know one another and the third date ends with sex.

Chris has often shown that his ideas about sex are just as skewed as his thinking about any other aspect of relationships. In this case, he seems to believe that sex is almost like a fee paid after the couple has been together three times. It's hardly unusual, as Chris has often seemed to act as if he views sex as payment (during his friendship with Megan, for instance) as opposed to a mutual expression between partners.

As with many times he's brought up sex, his fantasies sound a lot more like coercion or rape than what goes on between a loving couple.

Rationale

The "third date rule" or "three-date rule" is a notion common in popular writing about sex and relationships. Variations include the fifth-date rule, the second-date rule, and others, but it's most often remarked that one should wait until the third date at least before having sex, so as not to have an awkward relationship predicated on sex instead of TRUE and HONEST feelings (though one notable variation states the rule as that a relationship is not worth pursuing if both parties are not interested in sex by the third date).

While it's referred to as a "rule," no sane person would actually take the saying so seriously. It's more like a guideline, at best. Chris, being a long way from sane, seems to have twisted the idea into a rigid, unbreakable law. If he can make it through three dates with one woman, he will get laid.

References by Chris

“	Sexual Education is good after Date #3, but how does one even get to Date Number One?	”
Chris, in bold letters on the front page of CWCipedia.

Because Chris puts so much faith in the notion that date number three means guaranteed sex, references to this idea show up frequently in his writing and conversations.

• On the CWCipedia Christian briefly mentions that Dating education is needed because sex education is only useful "after 3 or so dates".
• Likewise, in his chat with Vivian Gee, Chris declared that "Sex Ed is good for date 3 or beyond, but what is it that has to be done before then?"
• In a fan chat from December 2008, Chris broke down his plans for three ideal dates, the third one concluding with "snuggle and beyond."
• Bionic expresses his belief in this rule before his first date with Megagi on Page 2 of Sonichu 7.
• In a phone call with Kacey, Chris hopefully remarked, "Ah, date number three..." He then went into far too much detail about what would happen there.
• In another call with Kacey, after Chris mentions the third date rule, as he understands it, Kacey states that if, "somebody did that to me, I’d smack them, and I’d call them a pervert," and Chris quickly tries to backtrack.
• The course number for the Dating Education class in Sonichu (Comic) is DAT-303.
• Chris repeats, almost word to word, the above-quoted rationale for dating education in Autism Tutorial Part 3.

Exceptions

Despite his frequent insistence that the third date mandates sex, Chris has proven himself unwilling to even wait that long. When asked by a sweetheart, to describe what their time together will be like, Chris delivers a point-by-point description of how the days will be spent (often talking about wandering around aimlessly, watching TV, and playing video games. So, essentially, doing exactly what he does all the time). He is quick to remind a girl that they can always go further "if she wants to", though the insistence is evident. Even when he isn't specific about what time the sex will occur, he always brings up that he's looking forward to sex, and thus making sure she's well aware that he has expectations which must be met.

In his meticulous description of his plans for meeting Blanca Weiss, Chris proposed having sex on their second evening together. Ever the gentleman, though, he added that he would be willing to wait until the third time if she so chose.

Chris's OkCupid profile takes this obsession with immediate sex a step further, saying that women should message him if "they're willing to get to the bedroom as quickly as right after the first date". Given that the same profile also demands that women meet him in person as soon as two days after the first online contact, Chris has effectively shortened his expectations from three official dates, to three days since the initial "hello." Needless to say, this aggressive stance on immediate sex has not gotten him anywhere.

Of interest is what Chris will do next. Given how he is apt to take something that doesn't work and simply do it harder, presumably soon Chris will demand absolutely no dates at all. In fact, in Jackie E-mails 22 Chris mentions how he realizes he is "not mentally ready for a relationship" and "needs more socialization practice in real life for starters". Even though this is true and he doesn't want a relationship with Jackie, he is " a dude, and [he] did and will want the sex, and [he is] very mentally ready for sex with being responsible. [He'd] like to keep that option open".

tl;dr: he doesn't want a relationship because it's a lot of work to make someone else happy but he still wants free sex open to him anyway.

See also

• Chris and sex
• Sweetheart
• Rape