30 Push-Ups
30 Push-Ups (originally 10302009 CWC 30 Push Ups) is a video in which Chris attempts to do thirty push-ups. Under normal circumstances the claim that Chris can do thirty pushups would probably raise a few eyebrows. However, upon watching the video in question, we find that "pushups" appears to be a CWC-ism for raping the floor to the tune of Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger". Throughout the video, he doesn't complete a single proper pushup. If this were the military, a personal training session, or even an elementary school gym class, Chris would be said to have done 0 pushups, not 30. Nevertheless, he becomes visibly fatigued only part-way through the video.
Not much else goes on in this video, though it should be noted that Chris's pair of fake breasts makes another cameo.
Video
Transcript
0:05 - 0:36: Chris repeatedly does a pushup-like motion where his face is at least 18" off the floor at all times and his back is arched. His pelvis touches the floor several times. On 0:13 "Eye of the Tiger" begins to play.
0:37 - 0:43: Becoming exhausted after 30 seconds of a pathetic attempt at showing off his strength, Chris struggles under his own body weight, exhausted and failing spectacularly at anything approaching an actual pushup. Nonetheless, he counts off how many "reps" he thinks he's done.
0:44 - 1:02: Chris moves his hands towards his distended, swollen belly, which is possibly full of McDonald's and orange soda. He moves his upper trunk off the ground, and then raises his hips, counting these as a "pushups."
1:03 - 1:20: Chris groans and rests his weight on his forearms. He then repositions his hands near his bitch tits and counts the next awkward thrusting motion as "24." He is no longer moving his hips off the ground, and is just raising his trunk up and down, painfully. His face appears contorted, as if in great discomfort.
1:21 - 1:29: His face contorted in an agonized grimace, Chris moves most of his body off the ground for the "29th" rep. His knees and feet are cleverly positioned out of the camera frame throughout the video, so we can't see exactly how he's fucking that up. He pauses for a second or two before doing the last rep, visibly on his knees for this one. For some reason, his back shakes alarmingly as he counts off the "30th" rep. Still on his knees, he turns off the video camera.