SpaghettiRoutine
SpaghettiRoutine is a video Chris uploaded on 30 October 2010. In this video, Chris mimes the preparation of spaghetti. He had planned to actually cook some spaghetti in his kitchen, but his mother had cluttered up the stove. Chris then presents the finished dish served on a paper plate (due to lack of clean ones?) and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he makes a reference to an orange-faced Cashy type person he knows.
Video
SpaghettiRoutine | |
Search for video | YouTube, archive |
Stardate | 30 October 2010 |
Subject Matter | Home Cooking, Trolls |
Performance Style | Crazy, Comedy |
Shirt | Vertical Red |
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
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Transcript
For this presentation I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen! ...but unfortunately I don't have access cause Mom (garbled) put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So I am going to mime it. (Chris reaches over and grabs an imaginary pot.) Here's the pot. (Chris waves his hands over the imaginary stove, apparently cleaning it.) Put it on the stove. (He tweaks the air in front of him, turning the "stove" on.) Set it to the boiling temperature... (He waves his hands in front of him.) Boop-boop-boop! In time, the water's boiling, so we take a box of spaghetti noodles (he opens the "box" and dumps it in the "pot", then stirs it.) Tweet-tweet-tweet-tweet! (He continues stirring, making a hissing noise as he does so.) (Baby voice) Noodle is so-so good! (He "lifts" some of the "noodles" out of the "pot.") Hey look at that, trippy, no sticky, I often use them don-- to non-stick drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might want to wait a while! (He hisses again and resumes stirring.) Well, I say our noodles are done. (Chris turns the "stove" off.) Then we pour it-- we drain the water out! (He makes a draining noise and a kissy face.) We get some pla--we get some plates... (He grabs the "plates" and mimes distributing them.) Oh wait a minute, we're serving doo (?) (He throws a "plate" and makes a smashing noise.) I'm just kiddin'. (He grabs some "noodles" from the "pot" and puts them on the "plate," then grabs "silverware.") Fork! (He uses the "fork" to scrape the "noodles" onto the "plate.") Don't want any noodles to be left behind! And in the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce! (He takes the "jar", opens it with some difficulty...) Here we go, I popped the seal! (...and pours it onto the "noodles.") Glug-glug-glug. And now, some grated mozzerella! (He "grinds" some "cheese" onto the "pasta" while making shaking noises.) And we'll add some other spices from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever! (He mimics doing so.) And you can make your own meatballs with processed meat and putting it on a tray or something, letting it (?) and then rolling it all in a ball. But then they're not so good-- not as good, are they? So why not buy your own meatballs? We had this package of Swedish meatballs and we put it in the microwave-- warm it up already! (He mimics adding the meatballs to the pasta.) And in the end, on what-- at least-- on one of the two plates you get something like THIS! (He turns the camera toward a finished paper plate of pasta.) Yummy-yummy delicious! (He turns the camera back toward himself.) Now we can sit down and eat our spagheddy...it is so delicious! It smells so good! You want a bite? (He holds a forkfull of spaghetti up to the camera.) Look at this, you want a bite? You better take a bite, cause you know what? Watch this! You watchin'? (He abruptly slams his face into the plate of pasta, getting sauce everywhere and laughs.) I'm just kiddin'! (He wipes his face off.) I wouldn't do that to ya in real life, it's funny. Hey, at least my head's not fuckin' orange like a certain...Cashy-type person I know!
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