The Hook Cafe

Chris's profile image, which partially revives his old Ash Ketchum look.

A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.

The local free weekly paper in Charlottesville is The Hook, and its online personal-ads site is called The Hook Cafe. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman."

As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.

Ad

The following is all the information included in the ad, in addition to the above-mentioned introduction, as of 5 April 2010.

Introduction

I am an honest, compassionate gentleman, with a good sense of humor. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to average body and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, overweights, blacks and liars need not apply.

Characteristics

Gender: Man
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating
Body Type: Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate
Eyes: L=Blue, R=Green
Height: 5' 10"
Hair Type: Brown
Age: 28
Seeks: Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship

Profile

Education: College graduate
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: None, Christian / Methodist
Political Leanings: Moderate
City: Ruckersville
Occupation: Artist
Have Children: No
Want Children: Yes

Habits

Smoking: Never
Drinking: Socially
Drugs: Not interested

Personality

I get around town via: Car, Walk
My dietary preferences are: Conscious Omnivore
I spend my free time: Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking
Funniest Thing: A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth

Deeper

The best thing about Charlottesville is: The vast history behind it.

My radio dial is usually tuned to? Z-95.1

Quote a line from your favorite movie. Supercalifragilisticespialadocious

Thomas Jefferson makes me: feel inspired and better enjoy Charlottesville, VA.

The first thing I read in the Hook is? The Arts.

Name three things you shouldn't have eaten. Beets, Pickles, Relish.

Fill It

I'm an open-minded person, but smokers is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a college graduate and the body of a Playboy Womam

People say my face is my best feature.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is the Arts

The quickest way to my heart is sweet compassion The quickest way to my bed is honest lovin' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked fried and well-done

My favorite cartoon as a kid was Sonic the Hedgehog

Golden Corral is my favorite restaurant.

In and Out

Best Buy or Sidetracks

Summer or Winter

PC or Mac

Cavaliers or Redskins

Casket or Cremation

Fax or Email

Dyed or Natural

SUV or Sedan

External links

• Chris's Hook Cafe profile