Difference between revisions of "CWC Address to Unilever About AXE"
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Good day, I wish to, uh, make an announcement, uh, upon the side note, uh, aside from my usual work, uh, I would like to, uh, make a claim, uh, make it obvious of to the creators of, uh, my favorite br- one of my favorite brand of, uh, body spray: AXE. [Presents AXE spray] Apparently it ha- it has come to my attention that, uh, bunch of, uh, people of the, uh, wrong orientation are, uh, using the, uh, AXE brand, ah, by which I mean particularly the, uh, homosexuals. | Good day, I wish to, uh, make an announcement, uh, upon the side note, uh, aside from my usual work, uh, I would like to, uh, make a claim, uh, make it obvious of to the creators of, uh, my favorite br- one of my favorite brand of, uh, body spray: AXE. [Presents AXE spray] Apparently it ha- it has come to my attention that, uh, bunch of, uh, people of the, uh, wrong orientation are, uh, using the, uh, AXE brand, ah, by which I mean particularly the, uh, homosexuals. | ||
Eh eweh thusly a stereotype has been, uh, m- has been made if you, uh, if, has been made apparently, uh, has been made apparently '''‘you be gay if you wear AXE.’''' That’s so stupid it’s not I mean it’s not true I mean I’m straight and I have been using AXE for years. [Presents AXE again] I’m a proud sub- I’m a proud user of AXE | Eh eweh thusly a stereotype has been, uh, m- has been made if you, uh, if, has been made apparently, uh, has been made apparently '''‘you be gay if you wear AXE.’''' That’s so stupid it’s not I mean it’s not true I mean I’m [[straight]] and I have been using AXE for years. [Presents AXE again] I’m a proud sub- I’m a proud user of AXE 'cause originally as it was originally intended for and I quote: [Reading label] “Effective deodorant protection designed to seduce the ladies” and then later, uh, when they expanded to, uh, the, uh, shower gel they continued with that in saying, uh, “ah kee—dr—kee—nahh let’s see. Hydrates your skin leavin’ it so pure that she’ll th—that ''she-ll'' think ''she’s'' the first one to touch it,” and then later again in, uh, shampoo it says here [Reading label] “Get girl approved hair. Wash, attract, repeat.” | ||
Even though, uh, the comments, the, uh, comments, uh, sound, uh, sexist, uh, as I have learned, uh, on, uh, on their page on Wikipedia [gasp] I still feel that, uh, I have been at, uh, I still feel that, uh, is, uh, a big, uh, a big misuse and complete immoral act that the homosexuals take use of our- of the AXE brand which is prefer- which is dimensionally and originally oriented towards the straight people. I mean men attract ladies. It means they’re straight. They want to attract the ladies they’re straight. Please, okay, that didn’t come out right... But my point is anyway, uh, AXE is more straight is more meant for straight people: straight men who wish to attract the straight, nyell, the ladies. | Even though, uh, the comments, the, uh, comments, uh, sound, uh, sexist, uh, as I have learned, uh, on, uh, on their page on Wikipedia [gasp] I still feel that, uh, I have been at, uh, I still feel that, uh, is, uh, a big, uh, a big misuse and complete immoral act that the homosexuals take use of our- of the AXE brand which is prefer- which is dimensionally and originally oriented towards the straight people. I mean men attract ladies. It means they’re straight. They want to attract the ladies they’re straight. Please, okay, that didn’t come out right... But my point is anyway, uh, AXE is more straight is more meant for straight people: straight men who wish to attract the straight, nyell, the ladies. | ||
The straight men who wish to attract the ladies and I have been the proud us—prow user of AXE throughout the many bre—throughout the many, uh, variations, ehmore to come and more out there to [mumbling] out there to market and I’m sure, other than the body spray, the | The straight men who wish to attract the ladies and I have been the proud us—prow user of AXE throughout the many bre—throughout the many, uh, variations, ehmore to come and more out there to [mumbling] out there to market and I’m sure, other than the body spray, the eh—shower gel and the shampoo. In any case, AXE was [[speech impediment|adridgionally]] meant for, and should remain, only for the straight men who wish to attract the women. It is not meant for a homosexual dude to attract [lowers his voice] another homosexual dude. Ahem. Ticks me off. It really does. | ||
So I hope that, uh, the aff—that the, uh, Unilever the company that creates the AXE products, uh, sees this, uh, video on the YouTube and also, uh, would like also, uh, I would like t- to, uh, well I’d be say— I'd be, uh, I would be sound like, uh, some kind of bad person if I tell 'em to not sell to the homosexuals but I wa—but it should be more obvious from the package that it is meant for straight people. Y'know and also I would like to make the following statement to all homosexuals who dare use it. '''You homosexuals, stay off of our AXE!''' | So I hope that, uh, the aff—that the, uh, Unilever the company that creates the AXE products, uh, sees this, uh, video on the YouTube and also, uh, would like also, uh, I would like t- to, uh, well I’d be say— I'd be, uh, I would be sound like, uh, some kind of bad person if I tell 'em to not sell to the homosexuals but I wa—but it should be more obvious from the package that it is meant for straight people. Y'know and also I would like to make the following statement to all homosexuals who dare use it. '''You homosexuals, stay off of our AXE!''' | ||
Revision as of 02:31, 18 November 2016
CWC Address to Unilever About AXE is a two part video series (now archived as one video) made when Chris learned that Axe, the line of men's hygiene products (also known as LYNX), is popular among gay men. The second half was originally removed by YouTube due to a violation.
Video
 |
WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage. |
| CWC Address to Unilever About AXE | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 2 May 2009 |
| Subject Matter |  Homos
|
| Performance Style |  Reason
|
| Shirt |  Creepy Robe
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous For My Sweetest Ivy |
next MEOW |
| “ | I would ask to ban sale of, and use of the product from the homos, but that would be retarded. | ” |
Transcript of Part 1
Good day, I wish to, uh, make an announcement, uh, upon the side note, uh, aside from my usual work, uh, I would like to, uh, make a claim, uh, make it obvious of to the creators of, uh, my favorite br- one of my favorite brand of, uh, body spray: AXE. [Presents AXE spray] Apparently it ha- it has come to my attention that, uh, bunch of, uh, people of the, uh, wrong orientation are, uh, using the, uh, AXE brand, ah, by which I mean particularly the, uh, homosexuals.
Eh eweh thusly a stereotype has been, uh, m- has been made if you, uh, if, has been made apparently, uh, has been made apparently ‘you be gay if you wear AXE.’ That’s so stupid it’s not I mean it’s not true I mean I’m straight and I have been using AXE for years. [Presents AXE again] I’m a proud sub- I’m a proud user of AXE 'cause originally as it was originally intended for and I quote: [Reading label] “Effective deodorant protection designed to seduce the ladies” and then later, uh, when they expanded to, uh, the, uh, shower gel they continued with that in saying, uh, “ah kee—dr—kee—nahh let’s see. Hydrates your skin leavin’ it so pure that she’ll th—that she-ll think she’s the first one to touch it,” and then later again in, uh, shampoo it says here [Reading label] “Get girl approved hair. Wash, attract, repeat.”
Even though, uh, the comments, the, uh, comments, uh, sound, uh, sexist, uh, as I have learned, uh, on, uh, on their page on Wikipedia [gasp] I still feel that, uh, I have been at, uh, I still feel that, uh, is, uh, a big, uh, a big misuse and complete immoral act that the homosexuals take use of our- of the AXE brand which is prefer- which is dimensionally and originally oriented towards the straight people. I mean men attract ladies. It means they’re straight. They want to attract the ladies they’re straight. Please, okay, that didn’t come out right... But my point is anyway, uh, AXE is more straight is more meant for straight people: straight men who wish to attract the straight, nyell, the ladies.
The straight men who wish to attract the ladies and I have been the proud us—prow user of AXE throughout the many bre—throughout the many, uh, variations, ehmore to come and more out there to [mumbling] out there to market and I’m sure, other than the body spray, the eh—shower gel and the shampoo. In any case, AXE was adridgionally meant for, and should remain, only for the straight men who wish to attract the women. It is not meant for a homosexual dude to attract [lowers his voice] another homosexual dude. Ahem. Ticks me off. It really does.
So I hope that, uh, the aff—that the, uh, Unilever the company that creates the AXE products, uh, sees this, uh, video on the YouTube and also, uh, would like also, uh, I would like t- to, uh, well I’d be say— I'd be, uh, I would be sound like, uh, some kind of bad person if I tell 'em to not sell to the homosexuals but I wa—but it should be more obvious from the package that it is meant for straight people. Y'know and also I would like to make the following statement to all homosexuals who dare use it. You homosexuals, stay off of our AXE!
Peace out.
Transcript of Part 2
I wish to, uh, take a moment right now to, uh, read a letter I have just hand-written for the, uh, Unilever company about the, uh, issue at hand with AXE. I read this out loud because I currently cannot find the snail mail address, but when I do I will mail it off directly. But I re—but I read it now for hope that they will at least be able to get the—get the understanding and the gist of my, uh, of my proposition and hopefully do something about it and will not blow me off because of an opinion.
Hmmm. Anyway, to the Unilever company who creates, uh, AXE body spray, shower gel, shampoo, and all of that.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I, Christian Weston Chandler, have been a loyal user of AXE body spray for years now, and I have been enjoying the scent as I look forward to it making me smell better to attract (and keep one of) women to be my sweetheart. I have been sussessful with being enjoyed by my sweetheart—[looks up to camera] my sweetest Ivy. [continues]—who enjoys my pleasant presence and company with her.
I write the letter today, with concern of hearing that the ho-mo-sess-u-al pop-u-la-tion wear the AXE body spray as often as or greater than the straight people. Like myself. For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to attract... other dudes.
I would like—I would ask to ban sale of—and use of the product from the homos, but that would be retarded. Instead I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN" or something strongly similar. Please make this so, and please do not try to blow me off for having an opinion about the product. Or having an opinion about the homosexuals. Because I do not care much about them.
Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
Proud Straight Male AXE User
Peace.
Fan videos
| CWC the Volcano Does Not Approve of Homosexuals Using AXE | |
| Stardate | 09 September 2009 |
| Made By | manwithoutabody |
| Video Type | YouTube Poop |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
| ⇐ For My Sweetest Ivy | Chris's videos | MEOW ⇒ |