Difference between revisions of "Axe"
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FokkerTISM (talk | contribs) (we also call it Lynx in Australia) |
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{{ | {{quote|After using Axe body spray, I felt scentally delicious and confident!|Chris, [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]}} | ||
{{quote|"For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to | {{quote|"For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to | ||
attract...other dudes."|Chris, "Proud Straight Male AXE User"}} | attract...other dudes."|Chris, "Proud Straight Male AXE User"}} | ||
[[Image:AXE body spray.jpg|thumb|left|0% of the time, it works, every time.]] | |||
[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|thumb|Chris's self made ad from [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Proof that free advertising isn't always the best advertising.]] | |||
'''Axe''' (also known as " | {{taxpayermoney}} | ||
'''Axe''' (also known as "Lynx'" to our [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Britfag]] and [[PandaHalo|Aussie]] Christorians, pronounced "[[Speech impediment|Ats]]" by Chris) is a body spray/deodorant that [[Chris]] douses himself in. The much-advertised "Axe Effect", whereby [[boyfriend-free girls]] flock to the user of Axe, hasn't worked for Chris, as he admits.<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref> | |||
His comics also seem to suggest that he's under the impression that using the body spray is a suitable substitute for bathing. | His comics also seem to suggest that he's under the impression that using the body spray is a suitable substitute for bathing. He sprayed on some "[[Rape|Proximity]]" before his date with [[Emily]], in lieu of showering.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> However, in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|his edited version of the ED Chris-chan page]], he wrote that he employed "good clean practices of daily showers with soap, shampoo and water, and sometimes the natural body oders" | ||
==Axe and the [[Homos]]== | ==Axe and the [[Homos]]== | ||
In the beginning of [[May 2009]], Chris was informed that Axe was very popular among men of a [[homos|certain demographic]]. The alarming news that, instead of attracting "[[Boyfriend-free girl|the ladies]]", wearing Axe may lead to being rogered roughly from behind in a dark alleyway lead Chris to record [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|two videos]] demanding that Unilever state clearly on the packaging that Axe is for "straight people only", and that the homos heed his call of "Stay Off Our AXE, you Homos!" | In the beginning of [[May 2009]], Chris was informed that Axe was very popular among men of a [[homos|certain demographic]]. The alarming news that, instead of attracting "[[Boyfriend-free girl|the ladies]]", wearing Axe may lead to being rogered roughly from behind in a dark alleyway lead Chris to record [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|two videos]] demanding that Unilever state clearly on the packaging that Axe is for "straight people only", and that the homos heed his call of "Stay Off Our AXE, you Homos!" He also commented in [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]] that Axe is "Only for the straight man.", and in the [[Mailbag]] wrote | ||
{{quote|As portrayed in ALL their comercials, AXE is for the Straight Man to help them Get and Keep Their Woman. Now on the [[Playstation Network]] for Free, Download the NEW Smooth Jarvis Theme where it further proves that AXE is for the everyday Straight Man. And go Pits-To-Chest with the AXE brand Deoderants as well, availble in most retail stores.}} | |||
== | ==In the comics== | ||
Chris shills for Axe in a full-page ad in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Infamously, [[Rosechu]] asks Sonichu if he bathed, but Sonichu replies that he just used Orion body spray. | |||
Also, one of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] is called Armoraxe, possibly in reference to the Axe Armor range.<ref>[[HairDifference]]</ref> | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
<gallery> | <gallery> | ||
| Line 24: | Line 24: | ||
Image:Chrisandaxe.jpg|Chris promotes his gay products | Image:Chrisandaxe.jpg|Chris promotes his gay products | ||
Image:Axe en español.jpg|Translated into [[Spanish]] for the convenience of [[homos|maricas]] everywhere. | Image:Axe en español.jpg|Translated into [[Spanish]] for the convenience of [[homos|maricas]] everywhere. | ||
File:AxeAd1.png|Axe ad added to the [[CWCipedia]] by slanderous trolls. | |||
File:AxeAd2.jpg|More Axe ads. | |||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
Revision as of 19:22, 6 January 2014
| “ | After using Axe body spray, I felt scentally delicious and confident! | ” |
| Chris, Sonichu #2 | ||
| “ | "For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to
attract...other dudes." |
” |
| Chris, "Proud Straight Male AXE User" | ||
File:AxeAd.jpg
Chris's self made ad from Sonichu #4. Proof that free advertising isn't always the best advertising.
|
YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK! The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money! |
|
Axe (also known as "Lynx'" to our Britfag and Aussie Christorians, pronounced "Ats" by Chris) is a body spray/deodorant that Chris douses himself in. The much-advertised "Axe Effect", whereby boyfriend-free girls flock to the user of Axe, hasn't worked for Chris, as he admits.[1]
His comics also seem to suggest that he's under the impression that using the body spray is a suitable substitute for bathing. He sprayed on some "Proximity" before his date with Emily, in lieu of showering.[2] However, in his edited version of the ED Chris-chan page, he wrote that he employed "good clean practices of daily showers with soap, shampoo and water, and sometimes the natural body oders"
Axe and the Homos
In the beginning of May 2009, Chris was informed that Axe was very popular among men of a certain demographic. The alarming news that, instead of attracting "the ladies", wearing Axe may lead to being rogered roughly from behind in a dark alleyway lead Chris to record two videos demanding that Unilever state clearly on the packaging that Axe is for "straight people only", and that the homos heed his call of "Stay Off Our AXE, you Homos!" He also commented in I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC that Axe is "Only for the straight man.", and in the Mailbag wrote
| “ | As portrayed in ALL their comercials, AXE is for the Straight Man to help them Get and Keep Their Woman. Now on the Playstation Network for Free, Download the NEW Smooth Jarvis Theme where it further proves that AXE is for the everyday Straight Man. And go Pits-To-Chest with the AXE brand Deoderants as well, availble in most retail stores. | ” |
In the comics
Chris shills for Axe in a full-page ad in Sonichu #2. Infamously, Rosechu asks Sonichu if he bathed, but Sonichu replies that he just used Orion body spray.
Also, one of the Samurai Pizza Bots is called Armoraxe, possibly in reference to the Axe Armor range.[3]
Gallery
BILLY MAYS (RIP) really could sell ANYTHING.
Chris promotes his gay products
Axe ad added to the CWCipedia by slanderous trolls.
More Axe ads.
