PS3
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Sony PlayStation 3 (purchased 17 March 2007[1] - 28 August 2010) was Chris's orginal "life upgrade." He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made a video where he built one out of Pixelblocks. He would "throw out the cure for autism" for one.[2] Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his monthly tugboat, using one of his many collected credit cards. In August 2010, following repeated PS3 abuse, he destroyed his life upgrade.
Chris's replacement PS3 is his second life upgrade. Despite ceremoniously "MovingFoward" only a few days before, Chris could not live without his life upgrade and so reportedly wasted yet more of Americans' tax dollars replacing it. He was earning new trophies with it by the second week of September 2010. May the frivolous PSN spending and hacking drama continue.
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Fanboyism
| “ | So… good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And… LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3. | ” |
| Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is | ||
| “ | And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call... My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever | ” |
| Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in PS3 History Level speech bubbles | ||
Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the Hex Bawx.
Molestations and other PS3 damage
On 24 July 2009, a video of Chris humping his PS3 was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical stress.
On 5 May 2010, Chris posted a video in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a white knight who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability connect his PS3 to the internet, indicating that he either uses a wired ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty... just as planned.
On 27 August 2010, Chris posted a solemn video where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over 3 years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact Sony tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but fortunately this did not go to plan and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.
In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive, but it's more likely that Chris wasn't even listening to the things the representative was saying, being more concerned with being able to use his life upgrade again as soon as possible. This dubious series of events was disputed by CWC experts, who suspect that Chris may not have been his TRUE and HONEST self. However, his PSN account activity suggested he had indeed deleted fucking everything.
Good night, sweet prince
On 29 August 2010, trolls obtained The MovingFoward videos where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with his car. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode". He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained photographs of the console in various states of destruction.
The next day, another video appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car yet again (repeatedly) for good measure.
It was revealed through a series of e-mails that Chris had destroyed his beloved Life Upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a troll reward. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea more, destroying nearly $5000 dollars in his greed.
The Rebirth
As of September 6th, 2010, only days after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, with your help. Chris had claimed in his Tito and Clyde emails that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Little does Chris know, as he thinks he is the puppet master, yet the trolls are the ones pulling his strings.
Other oddities
Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.[3] He even does so in Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's PS3 History Level: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."
See also
- Chris-chan Discusses... - a video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
- List of Chris's games - detailing his entire game collection.
- List of Chris's PSN video downloads
- List of Chris's PSN game downloads
- Pixelated PS3 - Chris attempt to build one from Lego and Pixelblocks.
- PS3 History Level
- PSEye
- PSP
- PSN Blogs - an archive of Chris's posts.
- Sonichu Home Club - because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their Second Life ripoff.
- Sony
- Xbox 360 - the Kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
- ItIsFinished.MOV - GAME OVER.
Sauces
- ↑ PS3 History Level
- ↑ Pixelated PS3
- ↑ Seen, for example, in Brutal Legend.