Sonichu Girls
Sonichu Girls was a webforum for Chris's female fanbase. A "little slice of heaven" for him. Founded by Sarah May and Cassie, aka CassiRosechu, in December 2008.
Chris's Posts on Sonichu Girls
Cassie e-mailed Chris, informing him that she was a TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fan who helped start a webforum for female fans of Sonichu, and asked if he would make an appearance. The idea of a web forum of attractive young women delving into Chris's fantasy world appealed to his sense of narcissism and his hatred of men, so he made three posts, presented here in unaltered form (save for explanatory wiki links).
Introduction
| Yes, it's your man of the (Way More Than an) Hour.
I got the e-mail from "CassieRosechu", so I followed the address. Y'all are just simply the Sweetest. I've read my accent/voice was a favorited feature *blush*; I've rarely thought my voice was that alluring, although IMHO, it sounds like a direct-match to Sonic the Hedgehog (anywhere; from the classic and Sonic X shows and all games starting from Sonic Adventure), and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor. Anyway, I'll pour a pint of my heart just for y'all. :) Honestly, I don't know why I'm still single either; even my own mother finds me handsome. Yet sometimes after she reminds me of that, I reply, "If I'm so handsome, why won't any women (in person) approach me?" During my Sweetheart Search, while I'm waiting to be personally approached by an "18-(my age at that time and current) Boyfriend-Free, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl, to make into a Sweetheart from the ground-up," I did feel lonesome. Yet at the end of each time out to the location, I did feel a sad moment, but I take it with a "That's okay; maybe next time" attitude. But I can tell y'all understand from my past actions that I am honest, dedicated and true, and I truly appreciate that. If anything, that is exactly a neutral fact that I would wish to be fully understood among the worldwide fanbase. Aside from the understood fact, I feel that I am truly in touch with my feminine side, to the point where I am capable of learning from that to better understand how to treat women in a caring, nuturing, positive way; I've also learned from Red Skelton of how to be a gentleman. Sometimes I wonder between my caring attitude and the lack of a Sweetheart if I was born the wrong gender; I would wonder what life would have been like if I had actually been born a girl. But afterwards, I'd realize that I should still apreciate being born a boy to gentleman; God gave me the package, and I signed for it. Another thing I feel I should bring up is my honest feelings to validate my being Straight (although it goes without saying). I honestly feel more comfortable around women, because y'all are mostly more sympathetic and caring to another's feelings, y'all are mostly honest in your converstations, y'all are emotionally better and stronger than the majority of the male population, and simply put, y'all are simply fun and delightful to be around. And while it is true (and I am not ashamed to admit it) that I have seen my share of porn, I have learned how to better, positively treat a woman before, during and after the act. I would definitely stay until she woke up, and I would call her back later to see how her day was. And I have and would put the seat up then back down when I use the restroom she would use later. But I digress. When it comes to the private parts, be they covered or not, I look more at the female parts, and definitely her face, because not only of my being straight, but every one is truly a masterful work of God's art that is simply beautiful in their own way. But even more beautiful beyond that which makes it truly a wonderous design are the individual personalities. I care more about every woman's feelings and opinions over their body. On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel jerks. I could go on with what I detest about them, but I will not stoop to their level of cruelty. Also, I feel discomfort when shopping for underwear for myself; they do not need models pictured on the package. It grosses me out to see that thing. It's bad enough that I sometimes see my own when I look down (of which I don't feel as much discomfort), but the very sight of others is like kryptonite to me; it makes me feel like throwing up even when the image randomly pops up in my head. *sigh* I'm okay; I just took some deep breaths. I want to thank y'all again for treating me like a King, not just with respect, but with emotional understanding of my feelings. And y'all do not need feel inhibitation in personally approaching me in public *blush*; shoot I would honestly feel most flattered and would personally/emotionally benefit from it (I would most welcome it). Y'all know I live in Ruckersville, Virgina, and I can be found in the Charlottesville area when I'm out and about. Please feel free to say Hi or offer a hug or what you each feel is comfortable at the moment. Love & Peace, Christian W. Chandler. ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com PSN ID: Sonichu |
Pokeboy
| If you all will recall, I had mentioned the idea of creating a one-time magazine of pictures of the Rosechus (minus Zapina, since she's underage) being sexy in underwear or naked, as a protest of mine against the ED jerks who drew dicks on my female characters and women in general; the heinous, slanderous act still infuriates me. But I withold my rage. A Sonichu Girl asked me when I was going to draw the comic of the Rosechus stripping in protest, so I felt I should put it to a popular vote.
Would you all like to see the multiple pages of the Rosechus being sexy in underwear or naked in the protest against those jerks in the Playboy parodied magazine, or do you all feel I would be crossing a line doing so? If the popular vote is good, I will draw up the magazine either before or after drawing and coloring my #9 Comic Book, depending on how I feel. I'll make my decision based on the popular responses after a week to a month's time. Thank you all again for understanding my true meaning behind the stripping protest. :) Love and Peace. |
Chris's hair
Cassie, co-founder of Sonichu Girls, asked Chris for locks of his hair so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as souvenirs. Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady (or a dude pretending to be one), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair and placing the locks into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself. Due to the Mexican postal service [insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here], it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.
Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's butchered version of Spanish, with each side having a Sonichu drawing, where the Spanish side has Sonichu in a sombrero (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZED SOMBREROS).
The letter in English
| Dear Cassie,
I hope you and your family are well. I apologize for not writing in a while, and I hope my spanish in this letter is good. Good. I thought felt I should send you the sample of my hair locks I was able to divide for you and your friends including Sarah May. Enclosed in are 23 locks of my hair. I felt bad for not making 200 cards in the time. I've been through a bunch of bad times, and none good. I trust that you can understand fully, and I deeply thank you for that. Like a (bonus points for whoever can read what he crossed out) trusted friend, I love you Cassie. Love and Peace, Christian W.Chandler. |
The letter in Spanish
| Hola, Cassie,
Yo espero que estar bien, y tú familia están bien tambien. Yo lo siento que fue no escribi te por tan tiempo mucho. Y esto espero mí español aquí esta bien. Bien, yo piensé qué yo debo enviar mí "samples" de pelo yo dividí para tu y su amigas de Sonichu Girls, incluia Sarah May. En esta "envelope", hay viente y tres tarjetas con mi pelo. Yo siento un poquito mal que no puedo dividir dos cien tarjetas durante el tiempo. Tenía veces mal mucho y veces bien tambien. Yo pienso bien que tu comprendes bien, y yo tengo muchas gracias para ti para comprender. Como un amigo bueno, yo te amo. Amor y paz, Christian W. Chandler. |
The Spanish Letter, translated
| Hello, Cassie
I hope that to be well, and you family are good too. I regret it that it was not I wrote to you during so time much. And this I hope my Spanish here is well. Good, I thought what I should send my "samples" of hair I divided for you and your Sonichu girl friends, including Sarah May. In this envelope, there are 23 cards with my hair. I feel a little bad that I can't divide 200 cards during the time. I have bad times many and well times also. I think well that you understand well, and I have many thanks for you in order to understand. As a good friend, I love you. Love and peace, Christian W. Chandler. |
Gallery of hair
Now future generations of trolls will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
The entire packets of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: trolls and especially homos from rival Gay 4 Sonichu)
Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it to be Chris's.
Letter accompanying the hair.
Spanish translation of the letter.
All the packets.
And the actual hair.
Sonichu Girls revealed
On 23 February 2009 (the day before Chris's birthday), the Sonichu girls forum was revealed to be nothing more than a fake fanbase created by Clyde Cash. The board itself then morphed into a message board to possibly be used by The Miscreants. In his post, Clyde made it very clear that "Sonichu Girls" was an attempt to troll Chris.[1]