Take that Page DOWN NOW!
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WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage. |
Take that Page DOWN NOW! is a YouTube video, posted by Chris on 30 March 2009. Demanding the ED page on Chris-Chan is taken down. Later, Chris takes the video down, and updates a longer version, with added footage of him shouting and growling at the camera. He makes several threats on Clyde Cash's life in this video, including a threat to "shove [his] ass down [his] throat' and "make [him] eat [his] underwear." (A line he stole directly from a South Park episode.)
The Original
Transcript: Original
Just a major up--just a small update. Well, I just wanted to, uh, ask a small favor. You know what would really inspire me to continue doing the comics? I tell you what--[removes glasses, grows more stern]--you take down that ED page forever. Take it down. It and al--everything about it, including the, the discussion pages. Everything. Delete it.
[sighs] Because you don't--because that thing has been bothering me for so ma--for that long time. And you know how the expression "Too many cooks spoil the broth?" Well, call it--this was "too many crooks." Too many crooks! Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page--every word on the discussion page is a crook.
Mmmm! It just makes me really [tries to flex nonexistent muscles] angry! Nnngh, nngh! Nnnngh! You know how it makes me angry?
[reaches off camera; after jump cut, picks up the Clown Doll with picture taped to it]
This is Clyde.
[jump cut to Chris holding doll in left hand and making fist with right]
And this is how angry I am for every waking moment that that ED page is up. [begins pounding the shit out of doll]
[reaches down to retrieve picture, rips it in half] NNNGH!
[looks into camera, sneering] You want me to calm down? YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? You want me to draw the comics? YOU TAKE DOWN THAT ED PAGE! [picks up piece of picture, puts it back on doll] Or Clyde is--BAM! [resumes punching his clown]
The Director's Cut
| “ | I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT...AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR! | ” |
Transcript: Director's Cut Bonus Material
[jump cut, apparently later in the day; Chris is tensing is arms and either hulking up or trying to fart] Ngh...EEENNNNRRRRGGHHHH!!!
[picks up doll again, tries to tear its head off, fails] EENNGH--GGH!
[begins beating it more savagely] NGH! NGH! [throws it to ground, reaches down to pound on it] NGH! NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH!
[pops back up to give a primal growl] ERRRNNNRGGGHH! URRRGH! RRRGH-HAAAGHH! EERGHHAAGHH!
[raises hand up as he stares off into space, talking like the Ultimate Warrior] CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME. YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! [hiccups] YOU ARE DEAD! AND SO IS THAT PAGE! RRARRGGH--[hic]--RRRGGHH!! [snorts] EEEEENNRRRHHH! [begins smacking his fist into his palm]
[jump cut; Christian is speaking normally again]
Mmm! You despi--you are so despicable, Clyde! I am going to BEAT your lights out! I am going to DRAG you right in front of EVERYONE if we ever meet in public! I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT--[Ultimate Warrior voice]--AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR! NNNGHHGGGHH!
[throws something into his camera, obscuring it] NNNAGGHHHH!!!