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| =Chris and America=
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| [[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|right|Chris's thoughts on the U.S.]]
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| {{Quote|Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here!|[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]}} | |
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| [[Chris]] is a citizen of '''The United States of America''', a democratic nation in the western hemisphere. The nation is considered the only remaining superpower since the end of the cold war, and is a leading economic, political, and cultural force in the world. | | [[Image:ModNation Racers.jpg|thumb|''MR'' [[America]]n box art]] |
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| But none of that matters to Chris.
| | '''''ModNation Racers''''' is a customizable kart racing game for the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]] that [[Chris]] has taken a liking to. It isn't quite [[2010]]'s answer to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', but it's close. |
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| ==Politics==
| | In addition to providing [[Autism|autistics]] with the simple gameplay used in all racing games and cute, [[Homos|gaily]]-colored characters found in [[Animal Crossing|children's games]], ''ModNation Racers'' is heavily based around user-generated content, much like ''LittleBigPlanet''. Chris can now foist his questionable [[Chris and art|design skills]] upon the world through a kart racing game. |
| From a glance, the politics of Chris seem very inconsistent, on some issues he takes a very conservative stance, on others a very liberal one. That said, the quagmire of political inclinations becomes much simpler once you realize that Chris doesn't vote on what's good for America, but on what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates the [[homos]], supports [[Obama]] because he sees himself in him, and [[Mailbag 20#Chris on abortion|supports abortion]] because he thinks that might make girls more inclined to fuck him.
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| Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate". While typically this simply means not having political beliefs that are extreme or overly partisan, Chris takes this as an all-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues all voters should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion.'' | | ==Chris's ModNation career== |
| | When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted exactly 25 screen caps of him driving a yellow, [[Sonichu]]-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the [[CWCipedia]]. These were filed under [[Copyright|"Original CWC Art"]]. Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a CWCville track. |
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| ==Understanding of Government==
| | It is of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he has a large [[fanbase]], barely anybody has bothered to download his poorly designed track and he continues to whore it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his [[Twitter]] account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for special game content and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire yet another trophy. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews. |
| Chris's grasp on how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[reality]] as a whole, is shaky at best. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes and presumably files no tax returns. However, he still considers himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays ''sales taxes'' on the massive amount of crap he buys. | |
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| {{Quote|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.|Chris, [[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever|explaining to a taxpayer why he deserves free money]].}}
| | He also posted multiple threads on the forums at [[GameFAQs]] and Gamespot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again. |
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| It's highly unlikely that Chris understands, the massive discrepancy between the amount the government pays him, and the amount he gives back via sales tax. IT doesn't matter in the end though, because in the US, sales taxes are collected by the state, and Chris receives his welfare from the federal government.
| | Despite having all the free time in the world, Chris is mediocre at ''ModNation Racers''. This should come as little of a [[Soul Calibur|surprise]]. After racing in 500-plus contests, Chris has only "won" 100 of these (with a noticeable "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finish" tally indicating some [[Rage|tard-rage]] present). |
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| Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the Majority, while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. When asked hypothetical questions about what he would do if he were running things, he proposes bizarre sweeping laws that single out [[Homos|certain minorities]], and force people into relationships wether they want to be in one or not.
| | ==Beta screen caps== |
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| {{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris, [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|on effective leadership]].}}
| | <center> |
| | <gallery> |
| | Image:MODNATION.JPG|Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting. |
| | Image:MODNATION_1.JPG|Sonichu license plate |
| | Image:MODNATION_2.JPG|''Modnation'': the game that lets you make Sonichu [[medallions]] |
| | Image:MODNATION_19.JPG|Chris plows his car into an orange pylon |
| | </gallery> |
| | </center> |
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| The fact that this would not help the country at all, and in fact could possibly destroy society as we know it does not factor into Chris's thinking. By Chris logic, he wants a girlfriend, so everybody must want a girlfriend. And if everybody wants a girlfriend, the government needs to make it happen.
| | ==Post-Beta creations== |
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| == Chris on Patriotism ==
| | It's now generally accepted that if you give Chris a character creation tool, he'll make himself and then Sonichu. ''ModNation Racers'' is no exception. The cars Chris has created actually contain a few relatively faithful replicas of real cars. Inside sources report that this isn't Chris taking an interest in cars, but Chris taking regaining his once-thought-lost interest in ''Hot Wheels'' toys. How very mature. |
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| {{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|Sonichu, delivering the Clarksville Address}} | | {{collapsible |
| | |Chris's ModNation Creations |
| | |<gallery perrow="5"> |
| | File:Modnation ChrisChan.jpg|Chris |
| | File:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|[[Sonichu]] |
| | File:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]] |
| | File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Lego Chris]] |
| | File:Modnation LegoInfomaniac.jpg|[[Legos|The Infomaniac]] |
| | File:Modnation 1stTransformersRacer.jpg|[[Transformers|A "Transformer"]] |
| | File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Excel]] |
| | File:Modnation HayattHatchan.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Hyatt]] |
| | File:ModNation Wild.jpg| [[Wild Sonichu]] |
| | File:ModNation Punchy.jpg| [[Punchy Sonichu]] |
| | File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg| [[Magi-Chan]] |
| | File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg| [[Bubbles Rosechu]] |
| | File:ModNation Angelica.jpg| [[Angelica]] |
| | File:Modnation SonichuKart.jpg|A car for Sonichu |
| | File:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg|And Rosechu too! |
| | File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|[[Son-Chu]] |
| | File:Modnation 1991CamaroZ-28.jpg|Hot Wheels |
| | File:Modnation JaguarXj220Revealers.jpg|More Hot Wheels |
| | File:Modnation Zr1CorvetteRevealers.jpg|Still more Hot Wheels |
| | File:Modnation PontiacBanshee.jpg|You get the idea |
| | File:Modnation AMansToy.jpg|[[Homo]]wagon? |
| | File:Modnation 1stTransformerRaceCar.jpg|Transformation not included |
| | File:Modnation Wiimote.jpg|[[Chris and death|<s>A casket</s>]] Nintendo Wiimote |
| | File:ModNation AuNatured.jpg| Au "Naturel" |
| | </gallery>}} |
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| As Chris likes to point out, he is American. This doesn't make him [[Chris and his ego|special]], considering there are 300 million people who can make the same claim, he also likes to point out how he is a "true American". His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his [[Twin Falling Towers|tendency to mock national tragedies]] and [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" make him out to be even less of one in the eyes of the [[Troll|trolls]].
| | ==See also== |
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| Chris treats patriotism (love of one's country) the same as he does with every other 'love' in his life; lip service and mindless devotion without criticism. Further, much as with other things, Chris believes that by one thing simply existing as a part of something, it will automatically inherit all other parts of that thing. Sonic the Hedgehog is a good character, therefore everything that features Sonic the Hedgehog (even terrible, terrible computer games such as the universally panned Sonic Revolution) must automatically be good. To whit:
| | *[[Fan:Sonichu Racers]] |
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| {{quote|00:18 <@cogsdev> What do you think about Yahtzee's insulting review of Sonic Unleashed?
| | ==External links== |
| <br>00:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> if it's against Sonic, I would not read it at all.|Chris, displaying blind obedience in [[IRC (18 December 2008)]]}}
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| Chris takes the same attitude towards America. CWCVille is inside Virginia, which is inside America. CWCVille is a thing to be loved and never questioned, therefore America is a thing to be loved and never questioned; this is especially true since him being American is part of his identity, which means any attacks on America are [[Chris and his Ego|attacks on him personally]]. In [[Do_Not_Dis_C_Ville]], Chris said that ''any'' mocking of him, Sonichu, Rosechu or [[CWCville|his personal dictatorial hellhole]] was, in fact, mocking Charlottesville, Virginia and all who dwell there. In that same video, Chris pointed out that he started with a red, white and blue shirt, which was a further display of his patriotism (or, more likely, a co-incidence he turned into a huge retcon).
| | *[http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu Chris's ModNation profile] |
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| == Chris and Being American ==
| | [[Category:Video Games]] |
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| {{quote|[''speaking about Liquid Chris'']
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| Dad: I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?
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| Chris: I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual...
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| Dad: Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.
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| Chris: I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.|Chris, in the [[Father Call]].}}
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| Chris has a warped view of what constitutes a good American. Chris countered Kacey's father's assertion that Liquid Chris was an upstanding young man by spluttering about having never left America. In Chris' mind, being called an American is the opposite of being called a [[niggo]]; it's just a generic word used to compliment someone. He had no problems calling [[Tito|Surfshack Tito]] a 'nigger' to his face, even with absolutely no evidence that Tito was any particular race at all. Presumably, the same logic holds true for being American. If he wants to compliment someone, he'll call them an American.
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| [another quote]
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| {{quote|I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a good American.|Chris, [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|not feeling sorry for a damn thing]].}}
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| blah blah write more about how Chris fails at 9/11
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| Other miscellaneous things I found but am too tired to babble about at the moment:
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| - Chris bolded the word 'patriotic' on his [[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)|harmonized version of the ED page]].
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| - Chris wrote: "Sonichu is not necessarily a symbol of America, but he, and all the Electric-Hedgehogs are Patriotic to the United States." in response to the "Sonichu American Gothic" in [[Mailbag 3]]. Really? ALL members of the Electric-Hedgehog species, including the villians, are patriotic to the United States? Do any Sonichus live in Australia? Would they also be true American patriots? Wow. If only we could ask that question in the mailbag.
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| - Chris wrote, regarding joining the [[Navy]] and getting [[semen]] on his [[dirty, crapped briefs|poop deck]]: "I have considered it before, and due to my Autism, I am not qualified. Plus, a LOT of women feel depression when their boys are off in the Army, and their patience wears thin often. I SHOULD KNOW, My Mothers HATES TO BE MARRIED TO AN ARMY DUDE Because of that STRESS." I dunno, maybe we could get something outta this.
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| - In Mumble 7, Chris told a "patriotic" joke that was racist towards Mexicans. Unfortunately that part hasn't been transcribed yet.
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| - Chris also tried to sing patriotic songs in Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day.
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| - Babble about how [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit]] influenced Chris' views on what constitutes a good American.
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| - etc.
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ModNation Racers is a customizable kart racing game for the PS3 and PSP that Chris has taken a liking to. It isn't quite 2010's answer to LittleBigPlanet, but it's close.
In addition to providing autistics with the simple gameplay used in all racing games and cute, gaily-colored characters found in children's games, ModNation Racers is heavily based around user-generated content, much like LittleBigPlanet. Chris can now foist his questionable design skills upon the world through a kart racing game.
Chris's ModNation career
When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted exactly 25 screen caps of him driving a yellow, Sonichu-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the CWCipedia. These were filed under "Original CWC Art". Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a CWCville track.
It is of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he has a large fanbase, barely anybody has bothered to download his poorly designed track and he continues to whore it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his Twitter account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for special game content and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire yet another trophy. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews.
He also posted multiple threads on the forums at GameFAQs and Gamespot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again.
Despite having all the free time in the world, Chris is mediocre at ModNation Racers. This should come as little of a surprise. After racing in 500-plus contests, Chris has only "won" 100 of these (with a noticeable "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finish" tally indicating some tard-rage present).
Beta screen caps
Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting.
Modnation: the game that lets you make Sonichu medallions
Chris plows his car into an orange pylon
Post-Beta creations
It's now generally accepted that if you give Chris a character creation tool, he'll make himself and then Sonichu. ModNation Racers is no exception. The cars Chris has created actually contain a few relatively faithful replicas of real cars. Inside sources report that this isn't Chris taking an interest in cars, but Chris taking regaining his once-thought-lost interest in Hot Wheels toys. How very mature.
| Chris's ModNation Creations
|
Transformation not included
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See also
External links
