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| [[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]] | | [[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually belie... no wait.]] |
| | [[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|right|'''This''' is what Chris actually believes.]] |
| | {{Quote|Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here!|[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]}} |
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| {{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}
| | Of all the things Chris [[fails]] at, you would think '''Patriotism''' wouldn't be one of them. Sadly, you would be wrong. |
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| '''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.
| | == The United States and Chris == |
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| {| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
| | In truth, Chris is quite blessed to be an American. In almost any other non-western country in the world he would have been shot or put to work as menial labour. How good the US is compared to other nations is a debate that will rage on forever, but in the States Chris is guaranteed the same basic rights guaranteed all Americans, as well as a few perks such as his [[monthly tugboat]]. |
| ! CWCville
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| |'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)
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| |[[File:Cwcflag1.png|200px|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]
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| |'''Flag''' (National)
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| |[[File:Newflag1.png|The national flag of CWCville.]]
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| | '''Location'''
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| | Virginia, U.S.
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| | '''Coordinates'''
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| | Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe
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| | '''Date established'''
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| | ''Fictional'': 1982<br>''Real world:'' 2000
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| | '''Population'''
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| | Large. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs
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| |'''Political Ideology'''
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| | Chandlerian Socialism
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| | '''Area code'''
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| | N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link
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| | '''Website'''
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| | None (formerly ''cwcville.com'')
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| | '''Also known as'''
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| | Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, Hell, etc.
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| | '''Exports'''
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| | Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen, nuclear weapons
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| | '''Current relevance'''
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| | Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe
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| |}
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| ==Overview==
| | From a glance, the politics of Chris seem very inconsistent, on some issues he takes a very conservative stance, on others a very liberal one. That said, the quagmire of political inclinations becomes much simpler once you realize that Chris doesn't vote on what's good for America, but on what's good for Chris. |
| [[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville. Note that CWCville's postal code is the same as Chris's birthday, and that the address is nearly identical to his real address.]]
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| [[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|The toys that started it all.]]
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| CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a manner similar to [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ The Democratic People's Republic of Korea].
| | In all honesty, there's not a lot that can be said about how Chris views his country. He proven time and time again in his [[Videos]] and [[Mailbags]] that he barely has any idea of what's going on outside of his [[room]], and avoids even hearing about bad news because he finds it [[stress|stressful]] The politics of Chris-Chan have very little to do with what he actually believes America needs, and everything to do with his prejudices, [[Ego|egotism]] and desire for [[china]]. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates the [[homos]], supports [[Obama]] because he sees himself in him, and [[Mailbag 20#Chris on abortion|supports abortion]] because he thinks that might make girls more inclined to fuck him. |
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| It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.
| | == Chris on Patriotism == |
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| Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.
| | {{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|Sonichu, delivering the Clarksville Address}} |
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| The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.
| | As Chris likes to point out, he is American. This doesn't make him [[Chris and his ego|special]], considering there are 300 million people who can make the same claim, he also likes to point out how he is a "true American". His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his [[Twin Falling Towers|tendency to mock national tragedies]] and [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" make him out to be even less of one in the eyes of the [[Troll|trolls]]. |
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| Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C," but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes."<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world. | | Chris treats patriotism (love of one's country) the same as he does with every other 'love' in his life; lip service and mindless devotion without criticism. Further, much as with other things, Chris believes that by one thing simply existing as a part of something, it will automatically inherit all other parts of that thing. Sonic the Hedgehog is a good character, therefore everything that features Sonic the Hedgehog (even terrible, terrible computer games such as the universally panned Sonic Revolution) must automatically be good. To whit: |
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| ==Name==
| | {{quote|00:18 <@cogsdev> What do you think about Yahtzee's insulting review of Sonic Unleashed? |
| | <br>00:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> if it's against Sonic, I would not read it at all.|Chris, displaying blind obedience in [[IRC (18 December 2008)]]}} |
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| One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym," while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)
| | Chris takes the same attitude towards America. CWCVille is inside Virginia, which is inside America. CWCVille is a thing to be loved and never questioned, therefore America is a thing to be loved and never questioned; this is especially true since him being American is part of his identity, which means any attacks on America are [[Chris and his Ego|attacks on him personally]]. In [[Do_Not_Dis_C_Ville]], Chris said that ''any'' mocking of him, Sonichu, Rosechu or [[CWCville|his personal dictatorial hellhole]] was, in fact, mocking Charlottesville, Virginia and all who dwell there. In that same video, Chris pointed out that he started with a red, white and blue shirt, which was a further display of his patriotism (or, more likely, a co-incidence he turned into a huge retcon). |
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| Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're in Eastern Europe or perhaps Wales. In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]], Chris slams [[Evan]] and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.
| | == Chris and Being American == |
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| ==Government and politics==
| | {{quote|[''speaking about Liquid Chris''] |
| {{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}} | | Dad: I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this? |
| | Chris: I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual... |
| | Dad: Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American. |
| | Chris: I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.|Chris, in the [[Father Call]].}} |
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| [[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]].]]
| | Chris has a warped view of what constitutes a good American. Chris countered Kacey's father's assertion that Liquid Chris was an upstanding young man by spluttering about having never left America. In Chris' mind, being called an American is the opposite of being called a [[niggo]]; it's just a generic word used to compliment someone. He had no problems calling [[Tito|Surfshack Tito]] a 'nigger' to his face, even with absolutely no evidence that Tito was any particular race at all. Presumably, the same logic holds true for being American. If he wants to compliment someone, he'll call them an American. |
| [[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor.]]]]
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| [[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]
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| [[File:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris and his men weilding the CWCville ceremonial flag while on parade in Town Square.]]
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| CWCville is like many contemporary third world countries. Its government, likely unbeknownst to Chris, eerily parallels [[Wikipedia:Turkmenistan|Turkmenistan]] under [[Wikipedia:Saparmurat Niyazov|Saparmurat Niyazov]], who was also known for governing with an iron fist, enacting ridiculous bans and possessing a titanic ego. Nonetheless, even Niyazov was a much better leader and much smarter person than Chris. Chris also mirrors Norsefire leader [[Wikipedia:Adam Susan|Adam Susan]] from Alan Moore's graphic novel ''V For Vendetta'': both Chris and Susan are homophobic, racist, fascist adult virgins who spend all day isolated, trying to find love in their computer, only to be trolled.
| | [another quote] |
| | {{quote|I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a good American.|Chris, [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|not feeling sorry for a damn thing]].}} |
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| According to [[Sonichu 8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.
| | blah blah write more about how Chris fails at 9/11 |
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| According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]]. Voting is strictly for the Town Council, which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a ''monarchy'', by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of ''[[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|damnatio memoriae]]'', where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, [[Crystal]] Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.
| | Other miscellaneous things I found but am too tired to babble about at the moment: |
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| On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by [[niggos]]. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion of Fail]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, and quickly undid all of MAYS' initiatives, before announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink he was always the ruler], and that there would be no further elections.
| | - Chris bolded the word 'patriotic' on his [[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)|harmonized version of the ED page]]. |
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| The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded.
| | - Chris wrote: "Sonichu is not necessarily a symbol of America, but he, and all the Electric-Hedgehogs are Patriotic to the United States." in response to the "Sonichu American Gothic" in [[Mailbag 3]]. Really? ALL members of the Electric-Hedgehog species, including the villians, are patriotic to the United States? Do any Sonichus live in Australia? Would they also be true American patriots? Wow. If only we could ask that question in the mailbag. |
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| Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to [[Magi-Chan|an obvious closet case]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and [[Mailbag|disputing the authority has been futile in general]]), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual ''law'', otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.
| | - Chris wrote, regarding joining the [[Navy]] and getting [[semen]] on his [[dirty, crapped briefs|poop deck]]: "I have considered it before, and due to my Autism, I am not qualified. Plus, a LOT of women feel depression when their boys are off in the Army, and their patience wears thin often. I SHOULD KNOW, My Mothers HATES TO BE MARRIED TO AN ARMY DUDE Because of that STRESS." I dunno, maybe we could get something outta this. |
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| CWCville has a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army]]; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. For a normal townsperson, hardly a day passes without a tank rolling past their home, military helicopters buzzing over the shopping centers, or seeing a group of heavily armed mercenaries bullying a hapless youngster on the other side of the street for simply ''looking'' a little bit "trollish", whatever that means. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on [[Chris and copyright|curious misinterpretations]] of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by [[Sandy Rosechu|underage assassins]]. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remain at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].
| | - In Mumble 7, Chris told a "patriotic" joke that was racist towards Mexicans. Unfortunately that part hasn't been transcribed yet. |
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| The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[jerkops]] and [[manajerks]] are depowered, yet are allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]] and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in ''cruel and inhumane ways''.
| | - Chris also tried to sing patriotic songs in Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day. |
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| The basic services are lacking: [[Blake]] wasn't sent to a hospital E.R. after being attacked by [[Silvana]], but was sent to a wholly inadequate [[Pokémon]] Center instead. (although [[Reldnahc]] was sent to a hospital in ''[[Sonichu 6]]''). Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The [[CWCville Shopping Center|rare buildings of CWCville]] are sad, lopsided affairs, betraying [[CADD|a lack of architectural and engineering skills]] brought on by a national brain drain, as the educated classes seek asylum in the U.S., Canada, or Europe (the map shows many buildings, but they tend not to appear in [[Comic|pictures]] — we can assume they were simply never built). As the poor citizens of CWCville suffer in the squalor of refugee camps, the mayor wastes precious UN [[Monthly tugboat|aid money]] on [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|oversize novelty drinking straws]] and [[Patti-chan|credit cards for dogs]]. As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], there were 10 homeless shelters set up: [[Mailbag 20|Chris himself]] claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. They are almost certainly havens for junkies, crack dealers and whores openly plying their trade in the hallways and elevators, while the mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. It is not clear how CWCville finances such a ludicrously generous welfare system, given that the city's economy (and thus its tax take) appears to be almost non-existent.
| | - Babble about how [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit]] influenced Chris' views on what constitutes a good American. |
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| Conditions in CWCville are worsening daily. As mayoral forces clash with [[Jerkop|rebel police]] in the streets of the capital, aid organizations have been forced to withdraw. While his people starve, mayor Chandler has funneled government money into illegal arms trades, probably with rogue nations, with the stated goal of building a rocket to "send all the [[tobacky]] to the moon". The lavish living conditions and the [[Mailbag 21|salary of his squad of Pokémon goons]] are fully supported by the city's budget.
| | - etc. |
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| '''tl;dr''' CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.
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| ==Economy==
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| CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over; the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The requirement that private, "independent" business (i.e. businesses that are not CWCville mall tenants) pay tribute to Chris and be named after him have frightened away investors who could provide the city with the billions of dollars it desparately needs just for basic services.
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| The banning of goods that the mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. Tobacco, unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.
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| Chris's control over the supply chain has led to demand for all goods outpacing the industrial output of CWCville. As a direct consequence, shortages of basic goods and services are chronic and a threat to the health and safety of average citizens while Chris and his gang live lavishly. For reference, communist nations such as the Soviet Union and pre-1980's China operated under this economic system.
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| CWCville also mints its own money, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, which are mutually exclusive to the point where vending machines will take only one or the other, and the exchange rate between the two is uncertain (usually 10 C's = 1 W). The confusing fiscal policy has contributed to hyperinflation and extreme poverty throughout the city.
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| Under the Mayor's rule, [[Wikipedia:Communism|business owners and managers who try to stand up for themselves are ruthlessly crushed]].
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| ==Flora and fauna==
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| [[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]
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| CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.
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| Zapbuds are a horrible new invasive species imported from the hell-hole of Chris's mind. They have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystems, killing off native species such as [[pickle]]s with their weedy tendencies. While some claim zapbuds have [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu|narcotic properties]] similar to opium poppies, little attempt has been made to market or cultivate them outside of CWCville due to intervention from environmental groups from letting this horrific weed from spreading. Aside "healing woes", relatively little is known of them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" and electrical hazard symbol suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field. Zapbuds reproduce asexually as they have no pistils or stamens for sexual flower reproduction.
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| ==See also==
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| * [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
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| * [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]
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| ==Sauces==
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| <references/>
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| ==External links==
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| * [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
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| * [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
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| * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
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| {{CWCverse}}
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| [[Category:Chris-chan]]
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| [[Category:Places]]
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| [[Category:Sonichu]]
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This is what Chris actually belie... no wait.
This is what Chris actually believes.
Of all the things Chris fails at, you would think Patriotism wouldn't be one of them. Sadly, you would be wrong.
The United States and Chris
In truth, Chris is quite blessed to be an American. In almost any other non-western country in the world he would have been shot or put to work as menial labour. How good the US is compared to other nations is a debate that will rage on forever, but in the States Chris is guaranteed the same basic rights guaranteed all Americans, as well as a few perks such as his monthly tugboat.
From a glance, the politics of Chris seem very inconsistent, on some issues he takes a very conservative stance, on others a very liberal one. That said, the quagmire of political inclinations becomes much simpler once you realize that Chris doesn't vote on what's good for America, but on what's good for Chris.
In all honesty, there's not a lot that can be said about how Chris views his country. He proven time and time again in his Videos and Mailbags that he barely has any idea of what's going on outside of his room, and avoids even hearing about bad news because he finds it stressful The politics of Chris-Chan have very little to do with what he actually believes America needs, and everything to do with his prejudices, egotism and desire for china. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates the homos, supports Obama because he sees himself in him, and supports abortion because he thinks that might make girls more inclined to fuck him.
Chris on Patriotism
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Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.
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”
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| Sonichu, delivering the Clarksville Address
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As Chris likes to point out, he is American. This doesn't make him special, considering there are 300 million people who can make the same claim, he also likes to point out how he is a "true American". His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to mock national tragedies and complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs. If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" make him out to be even less of one in the eyes of the trolls.
Chris treats patriotism (love of one's country) the same as he does with every other 'love' in his life; lip service and mindless devotion without criticism. Further, much as with other things, Chris believes that by one thing simply existing as a part of something, it will automatically inherit all other parts of that thing. Sonic the Hedgehog is a good character, therefore everything that features Sonic the Hedgehog (even terrible, terrible computer games such as the universally panned Sonic Revolution) must automatically be good. To whit:
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00:18 <@cogsdev> What do you think about Yahtzee's insulting review of Sonic Unleashed?
00:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> if it's against Sonic, I would not read it at all.
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”
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| Chris, displaying blind obedience in IRC (18 December 2008)
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Chris takes the same attitude towards America. CWCVille is inside Virginia, which is inside America. CWCVille is a thing to be loved and never questioned, therefore America is a thing to be loved and never questioned; this is especially true since him being American is part of his identity, which means any attacks on America are attacks on him personally. In Do_Not_Dis_C_Ville, Chris said that any mocking of him, Sonichu, Rosechu or his personal dictatorial hellhole was, in fact, mocking Charlottesville, Virginia and all who dwell there. In that same video, Chris pointed out that he started with a red, white and blue shirt, which was a further display of his patriotism (or, more likely, a co-incidence he turned into a huge retcon).
Chris and Being American
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[speaking about Liquid Chris]
Dad: I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?
Chris: I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual...
Dad: Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.
Chris: I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.
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”
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| Chris, in the Father Call.
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Chris has a warped view of what constitutes a good American. Chris countered Kacey's father's assertion that Liquid Chris was an upstanding young man by spluttering about having never left America. In Chris' mind, being called an American is the opposite of being called a niggo; it's just a generic word used to compliment someone. He had no problems calling Surfshack Tito a 'nigger' to his face, even with absolutely no evidence that Tito was any particular race at all. Presumably, the same logic holds true for being American. If he wants to compliment someone, he'll call them an American.
[another quote]
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I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a good American.
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| Chris, not feeling sorry for a damn thing.
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blah blah write more about how Chris fails at 9/11
Other miscellaneous things I found but am too tired to babble about at the moment:
- Chris bolded the word 'patriotic' on his harmonized version of the ED page.
- Chris wrote: "Sonichu is not necessarily a symbol of America, but he, and all the Electric-Hedgehogs are Patriotic to the United States." in response to the "Sonichu American Gothic" in Mailbag 3. Really? ALL members of the Electric-Hedgehog species, including the villians, are patriotic to the United States? Do any Sonichus live in Australia? Would they also be true American patriots? Wow. If only we could ask that question in the mailbag.
- Chris wrote, regarding joining the Navy and getting semen on his poop deck: "I have considered it before, and due to my Autism, I am not qualified. Plus, a LOT of women feel depression when their boys are off in the Army, and their patience wears thin often. I SHOULD KNOW, My Mothers HATES TO BE MARRIED TO AN ARMY DUDE Because of that STRESS." I dunno, maybe we could get something outta this.
- In Mumble 7, Chris told a "patriotic" joke that was racist towards Mexicans. Unfortunately that part hasn't been transcribed yet.
- Chris also tried to sing patriotic songs in Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day.
- Babble about how The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit influenced Chris' views on what constitutes a good American.
- etc.
