User:Beat/Sandbox
| “ | Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here! | ” |
| Red Letter CWC Certified Day | ||
Of all the things Chris fails at, you would think Patriotism wouldn't be one of them. Sadly, you would be wrong.
The United States and Chris
In truth, Chris is quite blessed to be an American. In almost any other non-western country in the world he would have been shot or put to work as menial labour. How good the US is compared to other nations is a debate that will rage on forever, but in the States Chris is guaranteed the same basic rights guaranteed all Americans, as well as a few perks such as his monthly tugboat.
From a glance, the politics of Chris seem very inconsistent, on some issues he takes a very conservative stance, on others a very liberal one. That said, the quagmire of political inclinations becomes much simpler once you realize that Chris doesn't vote on what's good for America, but on what's good for Chris.
In all honesty, there's not a lot that can be said about how Chris views his country. He proven time and time again in his Videos and Mailbags that he barely has any idea of what's going on outside of his room, and avoids even hearing about bad news because he finds it stressful The politics of Chris-Chan have very little to do with what he actually believes America needs, and everything to do with his prejudices, egotism and desire for china. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates the homos, supports Obama because he sees himself in him, and supports abortion because he thinks that might make girls more inclined to fuck him.
Chris on Patriotism
| “ | Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him. | ” |
| Sonichu, delivering the Clarksville Address | ||
As Chris likes to point out, he is American. This doesn't make him special, considering there are 300 million people who can make the same claim, he also likes to point out how he is a "true American". His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to mock national tragedies and complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs. If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" make him out to be even less of one in the eyes of the trolls.
Chris treats patriotism (love of one's country) the same as he does with every other 'love' in his life; lip service and mindless devotion without criticism. Further, much as with other things, Chris believes that by one thing simply existing as a part of something, it will automatically inherit all other parts of that thing. Sonic the Hedgehog is a good character, therefore everything that features Sonic the Hedgehog (even terrible, terrible computer games such as the universally panned Sonic Revolution) must automatically be good. To whit:
| “ | 00:18 <@cogsdev> What do you think about Yahtzee's insulting review of Sonic Unleashed?
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” |
| Chris, displaying blind obedience in IRC (18 December 2008) | ||
Chris takes the same attitude towards America. CWCVille is inside Virginia, which is inside America. CWCVille is a thing to be loved and never questioned, therefore America is a thing to be loved and never questioned; this is especially true since him being American is part of his identity, which means any attacks on America are attacks on him personally. In Do_Not_Dis_C_Ville, Chris said that any mocking of him, Sonichu, Rosechu or his personal dictatorial hellhole was, in fact, mocking Charlottesville, Virginia and all who dwell there. In that same video, Chris pointed out that he started with a red, white and blue shirt, which was a further display of his patriotism (or, more likely, a co-incidence he turned into a huge retcon).
Chris and Being American
| “ | [speaking about Liquid Chris]
Dad: I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this? Chris: I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual... Dad: Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American. Chris: I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America. |
” |
| Chris, in the Father Call. | ||
Chris has a warped view of what constitutes a good American. Chris countered Kacey's father's assertion that Liquid Chris was an upstanding young man by spluttering about having never left America. In Chris' mind, being called an American is the opposite of being called a niggo; it's just a generic word used to compliment someone. He had no problems calling Surfshack Tito a 'nigger' to his face, even with absolutely no evidence that Tito was any particular race at all. Presumably, the same logic holds true for being American. If he wants to compliment someone, he'll call them an American.
[another quote]
| “ | I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a good American. | ” |
| Chris, not feeling sorry for a damn thing. | ||
blah blah write more about how Chris fails at 9/11
Other miscellaneous things I found but am too tired to babble about at the moment:
- Chris bolded the word 'patriotic' on his harmonized version of the ED page.
- Chris wrote: "Sonichu is not necessarily a symbol of America, but he, and all the Electric-Hedgehogs are Patriotic to the United States." in response to the "Sonichu American Gothic" in Mailbag 3. Really? ALL members of the Electric-Hedgehog species, including the villians, are patriotic to the United States? Do any Sonichus live in Australia? Would they also be true American patriots? Wow. If only we could ask that question in the mailbag.
- Chris wrote, regarding joining the Navy and getting semen on his poop deck: "I have considered it before, and due to my Autism, I am not qualified. Plus, a LOT of women feel depression when their boys are off in the Army, and their patience wears thin often. I SHOULD KNOW, My Mothers HATES TO BE MARRIED TO AN ARMY DUDE Because of that STRESS." I dunno, maybe we could get something outta this.
- In Mumble 7, Chris told a "patriotic" joke that was racist towards Mexicans. Unfortunately that part hasn't been transcribed yet.
- Chris also tried to sing patriotic songs in Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day.
- Babble about how The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit influenced Chris' views on what constitutes a good American.
- etc.