Manajerks

The Manajerks are villains featured in Sonichu #3 and 4. Residing in the Sho-Mall, Mal-Wart, and Get-Tar Regions, they seek to frustrate Chris's efforts to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl within their respective territories.

Manajerks in Real Life

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Example of a Real Life Manajerk.

Real-Life Manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers", are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a patron who loiters in the workplace, purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be unwilling to shower and had numbers of pairs of dirty crapped briefs, his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold a sign expressing his desire for intimate relations with Caucasian women, it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron crude and bizarre. In situations like these, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes unresponsive or difficult, the manager may also be charged with contacting the proper authorities to have him escorted--forcibly, if need be--from the premises.

Manajerks in Sonichu

Fictional Manajerks.

In the pages of Sonichu, Manajerks, like Jerkops, college deans, CADD instructors, and other authority figures, are big tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing video games, building crude sculptures with Pixelblocks, and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil Manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the Manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local GameStop), which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the Manajerks and Jerkops as operatives of the same Chris-hating team, with Mary Lee Walsh as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the Manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-virgin, anti-autistic, etc.

Scotpalazzo

Possibly the first Manajerk Chris had encountered, Scotpalazzo was based upon the manager of the Fashion Square Mall, rechristened the Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region in Sonichu #4. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square Mall were documented earlier in the series when he battled the Jerkhief and got trolled hard by Hanna, but Scotpalazzo himself would not be introduced until Sub-Episode 6, when he expressed envy Chris for his made-up TV show "CWC's Backyard Safari". Scott was clearly redesigned to resemble Lord Il Palazzo from Excel-Saga, and depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love for his mother's murder-suicide.

B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, and W-M-Manajerk

Banished from the Fashion Square Mall, Chris resumed his Love Quest at the local Wal-Mart, until the management there called the police and had him tossed out. The incident was dramatized in Sub-Episodes 4 and 5, now set in "M-C-D-Ville of the "Mal-Wart Region", and the three Manajerks re-imagined as bumbling fools with powerful cybernetic bodies. B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, collectively known as the McDuo, attacked Chris first, and after they were defeated, the W-M-Manajerk stepped in to finish the job.

Manajerks of the Get-Tar Region

With help from Darkbind Sonichu and Crystal, Chris emerged victorious, and discovered that all three Manajerks were in the service of Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC.

Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)

Subepisode 7 detailed Chris's attempts to make a fresh start in the local Target store, which had just opened in his area. Paying a single dollar, he would receive a soda at their snack bar, which he would refill over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned Bagget to get him out of the store. The incident was dramatized by Chris in Sub-Episodes 7 and 8, entitled "Off-Target". Ironically, by changing the name of the location to "The Get-Tar Region", Chris undermined the supposed cleverness of his title.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until Sonichu #7, when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. "Turdijerk" seems especially juvenile, even for Chris, while "Trebor Capman" might actually be the guy's real name.

The Future

By the time Megan Schroeder came into his life, Chris had abandoned the classic tactics of his Love Quest, disavowing the Attraction Sign as "stupid" in Sonichu #5. This may be a "chicken-or-the-egg" situation, however. By 2006, Chris had most likely been banned from his usual haunts, and may have abandoned his sign because he had nowhere else to display it. Since attracting the attention of Encyclopedia Dramatica, Chris has shifted his focus to the internet for fame and China. And while his search for both have been in vain, he has at least failed to incur the wrath of a Manajerk capable of kicking him off the Internet for good. And so, IRL-based villains like the Manajerks appear to have been phased out in favor of troll-inspired characters like Blanca, Robert Simmons V, Jason Kendrick Howell, and Clyde Cash.