W-M-Manajerk

File:WalMartStoreManager.jpg

You local, friendly Wal Mart manager or a villainous, Kick the Autistic playing W-M-Manajerk? You decide.

W-M-Manajerk is a villain featured in Sonichu #3 and 4. So great was his power that Chris was forced to summon the aid of his imaginary twin sister Crystal to defeat him.

W-M-Manajerk in real life

Little is known about the W-M-Manajerk, including his real name. What little information is available comes to us from Chris's records of their initial encounter.

"June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the McDonald's at Wal-Mart, and apparently complaints were made. The two manajerkss, a Seinor Comic, and a Black, Fat Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the Jerkops at the Mall, whom I refer to now as the Jerkhief) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl, like I have been doing for the past over one-year and ten-months. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the sign from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my Pixelblock sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off." --Christian Weston Chandler

Translation: After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonald's, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonald's, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his weeaboo magic spells at him. The part about his car is probably an embellishment, but it's hard to be sure.

Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, 2005, Chris took revenge in the only way he could by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his fantasy life. Apparently worried about legal ramifications, Chris shortened "Wal-Mart Manajerk" to "W-M-Manajerk", and history was made. Pathetic, shitty history. (Ironically, the store in the comics is called "Mal-Wart", completely ruining the meaning behind the "W-M".)

In the You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!! segment Christian put on his ED page in March 2008, he implies he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from the McAttack chapters of Sonichu of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be crippled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

McAttack

The W-M-Manajerk first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in Sonichu #3 and reused in Sonichu #4. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of Darkbind Sonichu. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on Richard Nixon in Futurama. In that cartoon, Nixon, having somehow been resurrected and kept alive as a head in a jar, runs for President of Earth, using a robot body to circumvent rules against his seeking a third term. Why Chris would steal this idea of all things is a mystery, unless he somehow sensed that a comic about himself being girly-slapping by an ordinary Wal-Mart employee would have been too dull.

Something we've all wanted to do at one time or another.

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would.

Just as Chris begins to lose hope, he receives a vision from the Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan, who informs him that he must combine the powers of his Medallion of Fail with his Heart Torch of Fail to summon his Dream Sibling of Fail. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to one of his home-made Yugi-Oh! cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into their respective Chris-Chan Sonichu fursonas, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, are agents of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens and its President Mary Lee Walsh. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the headjar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of Sonichu #7, when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where Mary Lee Walsh announced Chris's disappearance into the time void.

Powers

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is pretty damn strong, actually. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking.

Weaknesses

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. It's possible that Bionic the Hedgehog could take him out pretty easily, but this remains to be seen.

Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, Sonichu could probably beat him up now.