CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions
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Introduction
In the world of Chris-chan, new people are being initiated to the horrors every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran Miscreant might be answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same question time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the common questions encountered.
All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.
Questions and Answers
- Is Chris a troll?
- No, the documentation on his entire life and testimony by real life people are way too complete.
- Is Ivy imaginary?
- No.
- No. His sex dolls are Kimmi and Officer Nasty. Disregard anything you read on either ED or YouTube. The CWCki is your one true source.
- Why doesn't he just get a fucking prostitute?
- He wants true and honest love. Prostitutes are expensive, and he wants a mothering companion. When prostitutes were sent to his house, Chris cried.
- How can you get off taunting an autistic guy?
- We don't do it because he's autistic, but rather because he's a racist, sexist, homophobic, unsympathetic, ungrateful, jealous, kid-scaring and troll-feeding thief, narcissist, antagonizer and all-around failure who wastes your tax money while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities.
- Can he be helped? Should I try?
- Better people than you have tried and accomplished nothing. See the white knight article for reasons for and against trying to save Chris. You won't be able to do it regardless.
- Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
- Chris is seeing a church counselor. He refuses to get professional help because of money and because he thinks God, Jesus and his church will pull through much better.
- Is he really autistic?
- This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He was, at the very least, clinically diagnosed with high-functioning autism. His behavior contains signs that support it.
- Is he retarded?
- Possibly, but definitely not completely retarded. He managed to graduate from community college and obtain a driver's license.
- Is he gay?
- This is a hotly debated point, and as yet there's no consensus on this. He's certainly into women and masturbating while thinking about women; on the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, and makes a practice of meditating upon Sailor Moon in order to keep himself strength. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, or b) a homophobic bicurious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to repress.
- Is he a furry?
- Definite maybe. He states that he does not consider himself one, however he admits to being turned on by Rosechu (not as much as a human female, natch), has drawn Rule 34 artwork of his characters, and has depicted himself as Chris-Chan Sonichu having sex with a furry version of his current sweetheart Ivy. He is a furry in the sense that he clearly derives enjoyment from sexualised anthropomorphic animal characters, and personally identifies with a particular anthro character; he is not a furry in the sense that he does not participate in the wider furry community. Lucky bastards.
- What's the deal with Sonic, anyway?
- He has always liked kids games, and he won a Sega contest that allowed him to stock up on Sonic titles. Sonic has certain qualities that attract autistic people more than other titles such as Mario.
- What's the deal with the shirts he always wears?
- Chris buys his shirts from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.
- Does Chris drink or do drugs?
- Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
- Post it on PVCC or /cwc/. The trolls closest to Chris do look at these and do read these boards for suggestions.
- What's this about Jimmy Hill?
- Jimmy Hill was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sychophant Squad (SASS), but disintegrated in November 2008 at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his Sonichu character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This may be the only recorded example of Chris realising that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it.
- Where does Chris currently publish new content?
- cwcville.com, Sonichu site
- youtube.com/user/CChanSonichu, YouTube account
- Where can I learn more about this guy?
- Well, right here at this fine wiki of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the Megan Saga and the release of email correspondence between the two. Other resources include: