Difference between revisions of "F Abstinance"

Revision as of 19:36, 13 September 2017

F Abstinance [sic] (officially "F Abstinance.MOV") is a video uploaded on to YouTube on 28 March 2010. Chris goes on a tirade about sexual abstinence for no other reason than having been an adult virgin with rage.

Similar to his views on the friend zone, he appears to cling viciously to the belief that he is owed sex merely because he exists. This video is also filled with irony, considering his Christian faith, once again proving that Chris knows nothing about Christianity - only parroting things he hears and agrees with while ignoring things that give him prickly-wicklies. It's likely that Chris believes the fear of pre-marital sex is the only thing keeping women from having sex with him, while ironically it's because of his excessive eagerness to have sex and his desperation are his biggest problems. Chris also tells everyone to not buy any of the Sonichu books that Clyde has put on the internet because Chris is not getting paid for any of it. While he commands people not to buy any comics he goes on to say that "small things" such as toys and backpacks are okay.

Chris later removed this video, most likely at the request of Rocky Shoemaker.

Description


AND Practice Safe Sex with proper Condom or B.C. medication usage. Ask your parents or teachers for more info, or look it up on the internet or library. Also, the Sonic and the Werehog Costumes in LittleBiGPlanet; the Headdress needs to be TWO PARTS; EARS for HEAD, and SPIKES for HAIR. And the Spines and Tail need to be TWO PARTS; TAIL for WAIST, and Spines for NECK.

Video

WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage.

F Abstinance.MOV
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Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	28 March 2010
Subject Matter	Sex Sex
Performance Style	Rage Rage
Shirt	Captain Falcon Captain Falcon
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Cleveland Show Voice Rant	next Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

“

And you can tell 'em that I, Christian Weston Chandler, promotes you to say "FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

”

Transcript

What Chris intends to do.

Another dramatization.

[Chris dramatically removes his glasses as the video begins.]

Just a thought that I'd like to share with everybody:

Abstinence, if you're just learning about it, abstinence is nothing but crap. It is a whole fucking bunch of baloney. If eh- if I had the opportunity, I would- if I was in an assembly, I would stand right up in my chair and I would say "FUCK UP- FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

[Chris thrusts his right index finger in the air for emphasis.]

Shout it right to the choir. I mean 'cause if you got abstinence, then what- then what do you get? End up being an adult virgin, or even worse, a senior citizen virgin and that is like a hell to most anybody. And you can tell 'em that I, Christian Weston Chandler, promotes you to say "FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

[Chris punctuates his shout with another fist-pump, then collects himself and puts on his glasses.]

Updates are to come on the CWCipedia soon and do not buy any of the quote unquote books anywhere on the Internet because I have not approved of any such books and I'm not getting a dim- and I'm not seeing a penny out of that. So if there's anything that I'm not seeing a penny out of, eh- books or DVDs, yeah do not buy. Otherwise would like, you know dolls, toys, backpacks wh- that sort of- that sort of small thing, yeah that's fine, that's okay. I'll approve that.

Anyway, everybody else, have a good day.

⇐ Cleveland Show Voice Rant

Chris's videos

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean ⇒

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-[[File:skeetanimehero.jpeg]]
+'''F [[Chris and English|Abstinance]]''' [sic] (officially "'''F Abstinance.MOV'''") is a video uploaded on to [[YouTube]] on 28 [[March 2010]]. Chris goes on a tirade about [[Wikipedia:Sexual abstinence|sexual abstinence]] for no other reason than having been an adult [[virgin with rage]].
+Similar to his views on the [[friend zone]], he appears to cling viciously to the belief that he is owed sex merely because he exists. This video is also filled with irony, considering his Christian faith, once again proving that Chris knows nothing about [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] - only parroting things he hears and agrees with while ignoring things that give him prickly-wicklies. It's likely that Chris believes the fear of pre-marital sex is the only thing keeping women from having sex with him, while ironically it's because of his excessive eagerness to have sex and his desperation are his biggest problems. Chris also tells everyone to not buy any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu books]] that [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] has put on the internet because Chris [[Chris and copyright#Sonichu_as_a_copyrightable_work|is not getting paid for any of it.]] While he commands people not to buy any comics he goes on to say that "small things" such as [[Homos|toys]] and backpacks are okay.
+Chris later removed this video, most likely at the request of [[Rocky Shoemaker]].
-Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.
+==Description==
+{{quotebox|AND Practice Safe Sex with proper Condom or B.C. medication usage. Ask your parents or teachers for more info, or look it up on the internet or library.
-Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood.
+Also, the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] and the Werehog Costumes in [[LittleBiGPlanet]]; the Headdress needs to be TWO PARTS; EARS for HEAD, and SPIKES for HAIR. And the Spines and Tail need to be TWO PARTS; TAIL for WAIST, and Spines for NECK.}}
-  === Trivia ===
+==Video==
+{{Tardrage}}
+{{Infobox/video
+| name           = F Abstinance.MOV
+| video          = {{#ev:youtube|6YpcDjoF2Hk}}
+| stardate       = 28 [[March 2010]]
+| subject        = {{Sex|text}}
+| style          = {{Rage|text}}
+| saga           =
+| shirt          = {{CaptainFalconShirt|text}}
+| previous       = [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]
+| next           = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Michael Snyder is <br/>ColdHearted and Mean]]
+}}
-Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain.
+{{quote|And you can tell 'em that I, Christian Weston Chandler, promotes you to say "FUCK ABSTINENCE!"}}
-Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day.
-Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations.
+=== Transcript ===
-It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".
+[[Image:Cwc-abstinence.jpg|thumb|left|What Chris intends to do.]]
+[[Image:OBJECTION by TOCDrawings.png|thumb|Another dramatization.]]
+[''Chris [[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic glasses removal|dramatically removes his glasses]] as the video begins.'']
+Just a thought that I'd like to share with everybody:
+Abstinence, if you're just learning about it, abstinence is nothing but crap. It is a whole fucking bunch of baloney. If eh- if I had the opportunity, I would- if I was in an assembly, I would stand right up in my chair and I would say "FUCK UP- FUCK ABSTINENCE!"
+[''Chris thrusts his right index finger in the air for emphasis.'']
+Shout it right to the choir. I mean 'cause if you got abstinence, then what- then what do you get? End up being an [[Christian Weston Chandler|adult virgin]], or even worse, a [[Barbara Chandler|senior citizen]] virgin and that is like a hell to most anybody. And you can tell 'em that I, Christian Weston Chandler, [[Chris and English|promotes]] you to say "FUCK ABSTINENCE!"
+[''Chris punctuates his shout with another fist-pump, then collects himself and puts on his glasses.'']
+Updates are to come on the [[CWCipedia]] soon and do not buy any of the quote unquote books anywhere on the Internet because I have not approved of any such books [[Chris and copyright#Sonichu_as_a_copyrightable_work|and I'm not getting a dim- and I'm not seeing a penny out of that.]] So if there's anything that I'm not seeing a penny out of, eh- books or DVDs, yeah do not buy. Otherwise would like, you know [[Kimmi|dolls]], [[Sex toys|toys]], backpacks wh- that sort of- that sort of small thing, yeah that's fine, that's okay. I'll approve that.
+Anyway, everybody else, have a good day.
+{{clear}}
+{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
+{{Videos}}
+[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
+[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
+[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-28]]
+[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-03-28]]

Difference between revisions of "F Abstinance"

Revision as of 19:36, 13 September 2017

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