Difference between revisions of "The Hook Cafe"
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Education: '''[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|College graduate]]'''<BR> | Education: '''[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|College graduate]]'''<BR> | ||
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian'''<BR> | Ethnicity: '''Caucasian'''<BR> | ||
Religion: '''None, Christian / Methodist'''<BR> | Religion: '''[[Chris and religion|None, Christian / Methodist]]'''<BR> | ||
Political Leanings: '''Moderate'''<BR> | Political Leanings: '''Moderate'''<BR> | ||
City: '''Ruckersville'''<BR> | City: '''Ruckersville'''<BR> | ||
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===Personality=== | ===Personality=== | ||
I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu|Car]], [[Sonichu's Edge|Walk]]'''<BR> | I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu|Car]], [[Sonichu's Edge|Walk]]'''<BR> | ||
My dietary preferences are: '''Conscious Omnivore'''<BR> | My dietary preferences are: '''[[Obesity|Conscious Omnivore]]'''<BR> | ||
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Creating, [[Guitar Hero|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Clubbing]], [[30_Push-Ups|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Shopping]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], Biking'''<BR> | |||
Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[Random-access humor|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]''' | Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[Random-access humor|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]''' | ||
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I'm an open-minded person, but '''smokers''' is a deal-breaker. | I'm an open-minded person, but '''smokers''' is a deal-breaker. | ||
Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''college graduate''' and the body of a '''Playboy Womam''' | Design your ideal mate: [[Chris and reality|the brain of a '''college graduate''' and the body of a '''Playboy Womam]]''' | ||
People say '''[[Chris and his Ego|my face is my best feature]]'''. | People say '''[[Chris and his Ego|my face is my best feature]]'''. | ||
Revision as of 22:46, 5 April 2010
The local free weekly paper in Charlottesville is The Hook, and its online personal-ads site is called The Hook Cafe. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman."
As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" an is now looking simply to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the hanky-panky without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat. Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was one of Chris's mailbag responses.
Ad
The following is all the information included in the ad as of 5 April 2010.
Introduction
I am an honest, compassionate gentleman, with a good sense of humor. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to average body and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, overweights, blacks and liars need not apply.
Characteristics
Gender: Man
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating
Body Type: Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate
Eyes: L=Blue, R=Green
Height: 5' 10"
Hair Type: Brown
Age: 28
Seeks: Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship
Profile
Education: College graduate
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: None, Christian / Methodist
Political Leanings: Moderate
City: Ruckersville
Occupation: Artist
Have Children: No
Want Children: Yes
Habits
Smoking: Never
Drinking: Socially
Drugs: Not interested
Personality
I get around town via: Car, Walk
My dietary preferences are: Conscious Omnivore
I spend my free time: Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking
Funniest Thing: A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth
Deeper
The best thing about Charlottesville is: The vast history behind it.
My radio dial is usually tuned to? Z-95.1
Quote a line from your favorite movie. Supercalifragilisticespialadocious
Thomas Jefferson makes me: feel inspired and better enjoy Charlottesville, VA.
The first thing I read in the Hook is? The Arts.
Name three things you shouldn't have eaten. Beets, Pickles, Relish.
Fill It
I'm an open-minded person, but smokers is a deal-breaker.
Design your ideal mate: the brain of a college graduate and the body of a Playboy Womam
People say my face is my best feature.
The first section I turn to in the Hook is the Arts
The quickest way to my heart is sweet compassion The quickest way to my bed is honest lovin' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked fried and well-done
My favorite cartoon as a kid was Sonic the Hedgehog
Golden Corral is my favorite restaurant.
In and Out
Best Buy or Sidetracks
Summer or Winter
PC or Mac
Cavaliers or Redskins
Casket or Cremation
Fax or Email
Dyed or Natural
SUV or Sedan