User:SeventhBase/Misc Ideas

Find some of these poignant? There's the discussion tab!

• Chris seems to punctuate his sentences with "YAY!" to indicate his joy, in a manner typical of a retard and/or manchild. (Special Ed on Crank Yankers did this a lot). A search will confirm this. This has been noted several times, and this attribute creeps into his creations, notably his fiendish hellspawn. This mannerism should at least be on par with the Stress Sigh. Other candidates to document this include Slow-in-the-minds and Autism.
• The Random-Access Humor Quiz expects the player to know specific answers to complete non-sequiters without any sort of reference, i.e. read crap in Chris's head. In other words, it's not random AT ALL. Essentially, its purpose is self-defeating, but probably explained by an autistic mindset.
• The Seventeenth of March seems to hold some major significance for Chris, nearing February 24th in importance.
  • It is not only the birthday of Patti-chan (1988),
  • but also the creation date of the Sonichu character (2000),
  • as well as his canon birthday (1988 AGAIN),
  • Ivy's purported birthday (1992, but we all know why that's the case),
  • Sonichu's wedding anniversary with Rosechu (2006, most bafflingly, although it DOES coincide with the day Sonichu reaches legal age, but Rosechu remained underage),
  • and the day of the purchase of his Life Upgrade (2006 AGAIN).
  • It also happens to be the date that Chris was kicked out of Grace Baptist Church and transferred to Wesley Memorial (2008),
  • as well as the exact date he decided to threaten Tito (2010), although with that also being the 10th anniversary of Sonichu, it just might be coincidental.

Just how significant is this date? Has GodBear arranged the fates so that much fail surrounding Chris occurs on St. Patrick's Day? Or does Chris have some bizarre fixation on this date, like he does with the name "Reginald"? Or is this user just seeing patterns obsessively?

• We all know that Chris believes (or until some point believed) that his failworks exist on a plane parallel to our own, and does not realize that he himself is the only outlet for his characters' expressions. This is why he feels to inform us that shit already happened "off-screen". No, it's not a creative decision, it actually happened and we just need to be updated. This, of course, implies that Chris interacts with the characters on a daily basis and is constantly in contact with them. One could only shudder at the manchild speaking into thin air, asking an invisible Sonichu how his family is doing. Indicative of schizoid behavior, if anything. This has even more alarming implications when he plays the characters themselves in that grating squeaky voice. The horrorshow that is A Sonichu Day illustrates this in action, but the most telling example is in the tirade against Liquid, where Chris uses Rosechu's voice/persona to explain that she got married and had kids. One could not help but wonder if Chris actually believes Rosechu is saying these things as he vocalizes those words. If true, this could be a sign of dissociative identity disorder, where Chris at the moment believed he was Rosechu. In any case, any true and trained psychologist has a lot on his or her hands.

Alternatively, taking the Occam's Razor explanation (read: Chris is a retard), it could just be a case of childhood naiveté gone on for too long. Children play-act all the time, but only for fun, and can generally discern between their fantasy characters and real life.

• Chris has obvious gender identity issues. That has not gone around un-noticed by the trolldom, but has yet to receive a centralized article. The Crystal thing obviously opens big can of worms; she's supposed to be the "sister he's never had", but more likely she's Chris's curiosity over what would happen if he was born and/or raised a girl. In Issue 9, he makes a note after Sonichu's his tard-rage rant on dem homos that he "would rather suffer a painful gender-change operation than be a homo." The Gaybian thing also lends credence to this: He wants to identify as a woman attracted to women despite being sexed male. Combined with his latent homosexual tendencies, I can suspect that either he wants to become a woman to justify his attraction to men, or his suppressed identity is that of a heterosexual/bisexual woman, and once he transitions she will be able to love men as normal.
• We all like to ridicule Chris for being a pedofork despite tenuous evidence of this. But observing the only video that shows him having offense to child abuse, I can't help but wonder if he's actually disgusted by CP in and of itself, or is he taking more offense to:
  • His creations being portrayed contrary to his ideals
  • The personification furfagificaton of his ideals of childhood innocence doing not-so-innocent things, or
  • The idea of Sonichu as the perfect family man, and the idea of his nuclear family as the perfect familial experience being threatened

than any inherent revulsion to Loli-Shota-Guro. Keep in mind that his morality is NOT focused on the welfare of others, but the perfection of an ideal as espoused by television. If we are to assume the worst of Chris (which we ususally do anyway), then Sonichu committing Soneefuck is not AWWWWRIGHT because it involves subjecting sexuality to someone that cannot comprehend it (Remember, Chris himself is favor of sex ed for young children "because they'll end up seeing it anyway"), but because Sonichu is a good daddy like Desi Arnaz and Peter Griffin (apparently an obsession with Meg hasn't shown Chris that Peter constantly mistreats her) and would NEVER do that to his own kiddies.

• Why did Chris pair up Punchy with Layla, despite the former previously stating he had an attraction to Angelica? Most likely a spur-of-the-moment change, done to "symbolically" (assuming Chris is capable of parallelism) pair himself and Ivy together vicariously through their creations. Since Chris is unable to consummate his character's GodJesus-foretold relationship with Ivy due to being in the Time Void, he manages to do this indirectly by having Punchy perform some Far-Eastern lovin' on Layla. Of course, off-continuity, he manages to get his avatar and Ivy doing the (really fucking nasty) nasty anyway. Layla's fate after the Ivy saga scuttled is unknown. It's certainly possible that Chris will get Punchy to dump the bitch to reflect his "real-life" "falling-out" with Ivy. Or even more poetically, she will die in an elevator accident in a giant wall of text, but not before she craps out an egg that hatches into another ripoff of something that catches Chris's fancy.
• It's well-known that Chris fails completely and utterly at Show-don't-tell. All the sonichus and rosechus (ESPECIALLY the latter, oh GodBear) have almost nothing distinguishing them from each other, aside from faction/alignment (good vs. villain). All they have are "Informed Attributes", in which Chris says a character has such attributes but never backs it up with an example. The only things that can be discerned (with or without Chris confirming them outright) are:
  • Punchy is obsessed with Samurai Pizza Cats and other TV crap (informed)
  • Angelica loves using religious platitudes (semi-informed, not to be confused with actual religious devotion)
  • Magi-chan is serious and unconcerned with frivolity (implied, he is never seen smiling or joking)
  • Jamsta is a totally cool and radical, dude! Cowabunga! (Although it isn't clear whether it is a radio persona or he really acts that retarded)
  • Christine is a self-absorbed and narcissistic (in the literal sense) bint who is seldom seen without a mirror and grooming herself (not informed at all!)
  • Post-Simonla, Wild is a vengeance-obsessed psycho who is even willing to exploit his own daughter to get his revenge ("revenge" part informed, "psycho" part implied)
  • Post-Naitsirhc Black Sonichu's got a badboy image (warranted or otherwise) to maintain, despite his own unremarkable personality (implied)

I'd like to term several of these "accidental personality traits", as it seems unlikely that Chris intended to make most of these personality distinctions without stating them outright. Maybe we've underestimated Chris, and he's capable of showing some degree of Show-don't-tell after all.

• Why does Krapple's red gradient bother him so, but not the fugly-bright blues and yellows that he insists on putting on his websites? Is this symptomatic of autism in that some colors of the light spectrum bother him more than others?
• "X and I, we..." - Chris always places the redundant pronoun in referring to the first person plural. It remains to be seen whether he does this for other plural persons as well. e.g. "X and Y, they..." and "X and you, y'all..." Unsure if this goes under Chris and English or Minor CWC-isms.
• As the Official Videobooks make perfectly clear, Chris cannot tell the difference between cartoonish villainous laughter and genuine mirthful laughter. They all come out as the latter (as well as sounding VERY forced), so it sounds as if Naitsirhc and MLW are guffawing at a joke instead of cackling at their adversaries.
• Chris uses ZZZ's to indicate both unconsciousness and sleep. ZZZ's are used to represent the latter, and ONLY for comedic effect. Chris uses them even in SERIOUS AND DRAMATIC SCENES, meaning that any dramatic tension is broken by the stupid ZZZ's. This is either an example or Chris's random-access humor, which pops up even when inappropriate, or once again just Chris's inability to understand cues and emotions.
• How does Chris perceive difference? On the one hand, he simply could not tell markedly different (yet somewhat similar) faces and voices apart, like Blanca and Julie. On the other hand, he insists that Sonichu and Rosechu are VERY DIFFERENT from their bases. In other words, two girls whose only common characteristics were being white and brunette cannot possibly be different, yet all one has to do is add blue trimmings and remove some forehead spikes and you've got something totally different (and ORIGINAL, DO NOT STEAL!). Predictably, it's a consequence of autism, but a little more complicated. I hypothesize that this is because Chris is only able to perceive the IDEA of vast differences, and only when he WANTS to perceive things as different. Thus, subtle differences either go over Chris's head completely, or become marked and obvious distinctions when they serve him. So yes, yet again his ego is involved.
• According to Christian's TRUE and HONEST stats for Chus, which are both sexist and generally fucked up:
  • Sonichus are 4 ft. in length[sic] (7 inch ears) and 120 pounds in wight[sic].
  • Rosechus are 3,[sic]10" and clock in at 90 pounds.
  • Sonees and Roseys are both 2'4" and weigh 25 pounds.

Before we crunch these stats, we find that right off the bat, Chris is a sexist pig who has males weigh a boatload more than females. (I wouldn't be surprised if he gave a rosechu "measurements" - assuming he knows what those are, beyond cup size.) It's also worth mentioning that ALL chus share those stats without any variation (One would think that Punchy the Karate Man would weigh a lot more due to muscle mass), showing that Chris is a lazy bastard as well. (Also, he never draws them according to these heights, but that goes without saying.) Now, onto the numbers. Keep in mind that these are stats for HUMANS, and not furry hogmice, but since they're so anthropomorphic, we might as well use the same calculations as we do for humans.

• • Sonichus have a BMI of 36.7. This, by any definition, is considered obese (Class 2). (Ideally, they should be 81 pounds.) Even though muscle weighs heavier than fat, the chus aren't given enough muscle definition to equal this degree of weight. Thus, unless sonichus have fucking boulders in their bodies (most likely their heads), they are still fucking fat.
  • Rosechus have a BMI of 30.0 flat. This is borderline obese (Class 1). (Ideally, they should be 74 pounds.) Women are generally afforded more healthy body fat, but even then this is overweight. Thus, despite Chris wanting them to watch their diet and have cheerleader weights, for their height they are still fucking fat (rocks in head notwithstanding). Angelica is given a break here, since those wings must occupy quite a bit of her weight. She could very well be normal weight while having 20-pound wings.
  • If we are to take Cerah, aged 4 years and two months as of August 2010, as typifying the average baby chu, then roseys generally have a BMI of 22.5. This is 95 percentile overweight. (Ideally, they should weigh 18-19 pounds for their height and age.) Not obese, but still fucking fat. Taking Robbie's age into account (since he is the only sonee around anyway), sonees are similarly fat. (On second thought, they might be obese after all.)

So what does this tell us? Well, for one thing, Chris can't fucking math. Alternatively, it could just be normal for a chu to be more bodily dense without the fat. After all, those spines must weigh something, and the ability to knock into shit at high speeds means that heavy bone density must be a necessity. And they DO have disproportionately and comically large heads, so that may be where all the weight lies. However, I'm more inclined to view it as Chris seeing his own fat self as normal body weight. Therefore, if something is smaller, it can be somewhat heavy and still be "proportional" in relation to Chris.

• I can't find much evidence that Count Graduon is a representation of his graduation. AT ALL. (It's just like people claiming the FG joke in Sonichu 11 means that Christine was no longer a virgin.) Sure, the spelling is similar, but the similarities end there. The High School Story is a better indicator of Chris's feelings on graduation, frankly. He doesn't say anything about "stifling creativity" or "ensuring autistic honor roll students don't get art awards", and just acts like a generic two-bit villain. For all we know, he's based on some other faceless villain from some cartoon that Chris once saw.