Kiwi Farms posts (other users)

This page is an archive of other users' key posts about Chris on the online forum Kiwi Farms. Posts are sorted by date.

Pepper Spray Case, February '15 Hearing

5 February 2015, by Zeonista

Long time lurker, first time poster here. I'm not trying to steal Rammspieler's thunder, but I was at the hearing this morning too (I live 10 mins. away from the courthouse) and thought I'd give you guys a bit of info about what happened before he posts his account. I don't have any timestamped pics or anything to prove it, but I've got no reason to lie to any of you. I sat in the back of the courtroom, since I was trying really hard to be inconspicuous, but as a result of that it was hard for me to hear much of anything. I can't give you much in the way of specific dialogue... Rammspieler (at least, the person I believe was him) had a better vantage point, so expect more from him there. Anyway, Chris WAS wearing women's clothes, but didn't look like as much of a disaster as usual. He was wearing a black cardigan and long dark-blue skirt with white stripes, along with dark-blue leggings and a pair of tan boots. His hair still looked pretty terrible, pretty much the same as it was in his mugshot. Barb was with him, wearing what looked like a red wool coat. Chris looked pretty nervous while he was waiting for things to get started. He was fidgeting a lot and kept leaning over to ask her questions. I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside. They called Chris up pretty quickly - his case was one of the first ones to go through. Naturally, even though there were 2 or 3 female PDs in the courtroom, Chris got the one BRUTE MALE of the lot. He was summoned as "Mr. Chandler," which I doubt he liked much. I heard the PD make a brief comment about Chris' appearance, but didn't hear exactly what was said. The PD, Chris, and the judge spoke with each other for about 2 minutes, and eventually the ruling was for a continuation on April 2nd. The two of them left the courtroom, only to come back in about a minute or two later, with Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?" I guess Barb had already forgotten the date of the next hearing, or maybe she thought they needed to come back later in the day for something. Anyway, she and Chris spoke to the PD for another minute or two. I heard the PD say this to them: "I said you're free to go... Yes, it's April 2nd. April 2nd, I can write that down for you if you want." He looked just a little annoyed, because even this short exchange was enough to hold things up. Chris and Barb were blocking the middle of the courtroom while this was happening, and the judge had to ask them to move out of the way so the next guy up could get through. The two of them left a little while later. All Chris had to say on his way out was "Welp," accompanied by a stress sigh. I didn't follow them out. Didn't want to overdo it and end up looking like a ween. I'm curious myself about what Rammspieler was able to overhear, but maybe this will tide you all over in the meanwhile.

Review of Printed Sonichu Comic

5 October 2015, by Jay Owen

Because I am an autistic piece of shit, I also bought one of them. I figured it was cheap enough that I didn't mind, just to see how it came out. As you expected, it came out like shit.

Jay Owen linked to a now-defunct Imgur album.

The cover is pixelated and shitty, Chris really obviously just stretched out whatever resized image he happened to have on his PC at the time, rather than rescan the original or do anything that required any effort. The spine is completely fucked up, and spills over onto the back of the book, making it totally useless -- the bottom half of text can't be viewed from the side. If by some shitty reason you ever wanted to buy multiple future issues to put on your shelf, you'd never be able to tell which one is which. I don't know if this is because he just copied/pasted a book spine he assumed would work, or if he really underestimated how big the book would be. Probably both. The result is that the cover is one of the worst things in comic history. It honestly is so poorly done and so low quality that if Chris wasn't saying it was his I would assume this was a troll attempt to make him look bad. The back cover is significantly less pixelated, but still looks like garbage because it is, of course, drawn all in markers and pen by Chris. The paper used is matte and looks like the lowest quality/cheapest option he could get it printed on. Someone else mentioned it looks like "draft" quality and that pictures make it better -- it seriously is so ugly and the resolution so low, it looks like a test page, and I can't even capture how shitty it is on camera. I've purchased comics from Lulu before, and they weren't nearly this bad, so there must be varying levels of publishing quality (or Lulu themselves has dropped in quality significantly -- it's been years) and Chris picked the worst. So, it's exactly what you expect. Low quality and no effort by Chris other than uploading it. He didn't even check to see if things fit on the cover.

Height of Sonichu Characters

25 October 2015, by FriendlyNeighborhoodDaddy

Just thought of something that's a ridiculous waste of time, so I decided to pursue it. Just how frickin' tiny are Cera and Christine's classmates? Chris showed in Sonichu 8 that Rosechu is 3'10" (or 46 inches tall). Christine, after her evolution, is the same height as Rosechu, and is able to scoop her siblings up like babies. I measured them, and compared to Christine, Cera and Robbie are 26% her size, or 11.96 inches (just under 1 foot). Cera and Kevin are the same height. Sonichu's kids are all two years old, so let's assume Kevin and the others are too, and just really articulate toddlers. The average height for a two year old boy is 34 inches (or 2'10), which means best case scenario they are all less than half the size they should be. If they are indeed supposed to be grade schoolers, then CWCville is filled with primordial dwarves.

Eyewitness account of Chris at CVille Pride

19 September 2015, by Lucrid

I just came back from the event. I did see Chris there a few times as I was walking around, but whenever I saw him, he was sitting at this one specific booth that unfortunately I can't remember the name of. I don't get the impression that he was officially affiliated with that booth, but since he was sitting there the whole time (or at least during the time I was there), I am guessing that they know him/tolerate him. He was dressed in a bluish sleeveless top and a white skirt. What was most surprising was that he was wearing a Sonichu medallion, but I guess it's actually not all that surprising given that he's trying to revive the comics. There was a bulletin board that had printouts of the Sonichu comic tacked on to it, and right before I ended up leaving, I walked by again and I saw Chris handing out printouts of Sonichu to people while sitting at that same booth. I didn't take pictures or really hang around Chris too much because I didn't want to arouse suspicion, but that's what I saw. Also, his behavior at this event seems different than what I've heard at other places -- in the past it sounded like he would go around talking to everyone, but he mostly stayed in his one spot. At one point he also was drawing on this red tablet-like thing (I only saw the back of it, but I think it was a dry-erase board). Though, the event is still going on for four more hours, so perhaps Chris will be up to more things later.

Happy Birthday, Jonathan

12 June 2016, by Vanillacone

In response to a thread on the Happy Birthday, Jonathan video:

Don't know if you all will believe me, but I actually bought this for my friend. Proof, if this can even count as it; Been a fan of Chris for a long time, and thought this was a perfect gift for my friend. To be honest, I got what I expected out of the video, and money well spent in my opinion. Although his name is Johnathon, not Jonathon. Ask any questions, if you want.

Short on Cash

20 July 2016, by timtommy

Here is a story. I am putting it in here because it is way too minor to have its own thread and I have no proof of it. I have a friend who goes to grad school at UVA. One night at a conference we had too much to drink and both revealed we knew about Chris. He knows a lot less and doesn't post on the forums, but we were chatting over the weekend and he told me this story which happened a couple weeks ago. My friend walks into a gas station/convenience store on the northern edge of Charlottesville. Chris is trying to buy $7 or so of junk food type stuff, but he only has $5 in cash. The cashier tries to make understand he owes $2 more. Chris seems to understand, but is slow to process what to do about it. My friend who is second in line, picks out two ones, says "here you go" and puts them on the counter. Chris, it seems more out of stupidity and confusion than malice, picks up the $2 and his purchases and makes to leave. My friend and the cashier, both object and yell that he has to leave the $2 with the cashier. Chris doesn't seem to react. A dude who was behind both of them in line is between Chris and the door. As Chris passes him, he taps him to get his attention, and says something like "Hey buddy ..." Chris makes a get-away-from-me hand wavy gesture without looking at any of the three of them, and fairly loudly says "It's Miss!" and hurries out the door. Chris continues to his car in a half run, half walk, as all three of the people in the store watch confused and amused. Chris pulls out of the parking spot, but for some reason heads towards the back of the lot, where there is no exit. As Chris gets to the back of the lot, he stops, backs up a few feet, tries to turn the car around, doesn't make it, backs up again, and finally gets around. Essentially making a 5 point turn in a fairly large empty parking lot. Chris drives past the store again not looking inside, and finally drives off.

Subliminal Frequency Playlist

31 March 2016, by MudMux

She'll be blossoming in no time.

Subliminal Frequency Like

27 July 2016, by The American Hedgehog

In a thread on the self-inflicted taint wound:

Chris still has faith in the subliminal videos. He liked a video called "Super Biokinesis Booster" today. It's not a good sign. He told Marvin's source that he finally realized it's a wound, so why is he still listening to the videos?

Status of 14 Branchland Court

29 August 2021, by Phillip_Jeffries

I'm just gonna go ahead and share my findings here. A few days ago I went to 14 Branchland Court with a friend of mine to update everyone on the van and the cats. I can confirm that the van is indeed back at the house. The plates have been replaced with what I assume are the original plates for the car. You can tell these aren't old photos by checking the date on the plate as well as the broken tail light, which apparently happened after the car was left at the motel in Richmond. And as we left I noticed the cats by the side of the house so I took a pic, but it's not the greatest. After we took our photos we started to leave. As we did, someone opened the door. At first I thought it was the neighbor that was taking care of the cats in the Chandlers' absence, but it turned out to be Barb herself. I was so freaked out I didn't know what to do, so I just said "Hi, Barb" and she said hi back then got into the van and drove off. My friend and I immediately left. I still don't know what this means in terms of how the case will go. We all thought she'd be in hospice care until she passed. Then again this is the state with the same mental health care system that ignored Chris all these years. I wish I had more proof than just my account of what happened but I wasn't able to take any pictures of her. Maybe someone else can go to Ruckersville and corroborate my claims? (without being a ween) If you have any questions let me know and I'll answer them.

Incest Case September '21 Continuance

16 September 2021, by GypsyBard

Well guys his hearing has been continued As of this moment the video link I posted showing 2 weens drive to the courthouse has been privated If the video is ever made public again skip to 40:40 to hear the news -Next will be on November 18 2021-

CWCVillie Shopkeeper agreed:

I can confirm this - it was rescheduled to November 18th at 10 AM. I went there myself before checking this thread and found out the hard way

October Photos of 14 Branchland Court

15 October 2022, by Jeff_the_Thriller

I made a pilgrimage to the Sonichu temple and I thought it would be worse. Not to say it isn't bad but someone is taking care of the yard and basic landscaping. I didn't get out my car or do anything stupid because their poor neighbors have had to deal with ween bullshit for like two decades. The backyard is a different story. Its over grown with a rotted patio and collapsing shed. The place doesn't look like it's seen basic upkeep since the Clinton administration.

Incest Case November '21 Continuance

18 November 2021, by Undersideofcwcspillow

I'm on the phone with the a clerk right now. Case is continued to the new year. It is in J&DR, but because there is an adult and it is a family matter she will have to ask her supervisor about what would be public after the case is finalized.

The following day Undersideofcwcspillow followed up:

I called and spoke to someone at J&DR again. Actually the same person. I'm going to go out on a limb and say they really AREN'T that busy. I get connected immediately every time and they don't seem in any hurry to get off the phone, so I really doubt there's 50 weens calling screaming JULAAAAY every day. Anyway, the new date is February 3rd 2022. The reason it was closed was because Chris's attorney requested it. That is all she could tell me. Then like a re+tard I forgot my third question and hung up. I can't edit my OP to add this info By the time Chris goes to the courthouse he'll have done half a year behind bars. There are actual gangbangers who have spent less time in jail than Chris. He's gonna be a hard MF when he gets out.

Confirming Car Crash

11 December 2021, by ThatGuyWhoLikes The Chili

In a thread on the topic of Barbara's car crash:

So I have a buddy who works at a dealership, they looked up the VIN# of Chris's van on Carfax and apparently the story checks out. It shows it was Tboned and the air bags not deployed is more likely a result of it being totalled. If it goes on a wrecker and right to a junk yard they don't care/check that Pics for proof, might wanna add this to the OP just so everyone can stop arguing if it's real or not.

December Photos of 14 Branchland Court

20 December 2021, by Tennis-Ball-Tony

I was in the area today and had just a little time to swing over to 14 Branchland and stop at the Goodwill in Ruckersville. Sorry for the shit pictures, I literally had zero time to hang around. No for sale sign or stuff that I saw. When I was pulling up to the stop sign on the cul-de-sac, the neighbor directly across the street from 14 Branchland yelled out "He's in jail!" with a big grin. That house also has a pile of Christmas lights up. I mean, the entire yard is nothing but Christmas displays and lights and they're all pointed at the Chandler's house. I also stopped at the Sheetz and the local Goodwill. I asked the clerk at Sheetz if they knew who Chris Chan was, and another employee said that he got arrested for "raping his elderly mother". At the Goodwill, none of Chris's stuff was there. It was crazy packed with people so I didn't want to ask. One thing about Ruckersville and Charlottesville, is it's a pretty happening place. It seems like there's not a lot of stuff to actually do, but people tend to be a lot more friendlier in businesses, talking to each other, everybody seemed to know one another. I can definitely see the Chandlers being shunned and having it actually mean something.

Incest Case February '22 Continuance

3 February 2022, by Peanut Head

I just called the office. His Hearing is just beginning, but the lady said she was 99.9 percent sure they're keeping it closed from the public. I will call in an hour or so and update.

Later, Peanut Head followed up:

UPDATE: Chris is getting another continuance. There is no date yet. They were unable to give me the case number or state the nature of the case. (I miss the nice lady from this morning). I will call tomorrow to see if I can find us a date! Until then, looks like he's stuck in a cell unless he gets the portal working.

On 9 February, WolfKiller reported:

I called the courthouse. The next hearing is July 28

Shoutout Video

12 March 2022, by Shovel Mech Pilot

One of my personal favorite quotes was Chris' shoutout to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Shout out to Fans in Hospital It was a super small piece of Christory but I was the one who sent him that email... I asked specifically for him to draw Eric and Dylan in the comic but I got a video shoutout instead. Still was fun. My fake teacher's name was "Rebdoomer", the handle that Eric used online.

Patreon Orders From 2020

18 July 2022, by The American Hedgehog

Adding to the list of reasons why it's a bad idea to do business with Chris... back in Sept 2020, he effectively doxed 23 of his own customers to the Watchmen. He had a bunch of outstanding orders from between June-August 2020 and didn't feel like working on that, so he DM'd Naught and ordered him to do it instead. Chris then screencapped the information of his customers and sent that to Naught. Naught dumped that stuff into the Second Layer of The Place's Discord server. These are a couple of the caps Chris had sent (censor bars added by me for this post). Information such as name, address, phone number, and email was included. Naught also posted excerpts from Chris's convo with him to The Place's Second Layer.