Unholy Quintet

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PROTIP:

As tempting as it may be, it is best not to assign labels to certain people that contact Chris until they have been proven to have fulfilled at least one of the criterium listed
Failures in a half shell!

The Unholy Tetrad is to the Miscreants as Ben Saint is to Asperchu. As the name suggests it is a term used by Christorians to refer to the four types of people that attempted to contact Chris, but end up receiving backlash and/or LOLs from others as a result. These include:

  1. White Knights, those who try to protect Chris for misguided purposes.
  2. A-Logs, those who feel Chris should suffer greatly from whatever comes to him.
  3. Enablers, those who feed into Chris's self-destructive habits.
  4. Weens, those who try and fail to annoy Chris.

White Knights

Main article: White Knights

White Knights are people who feel sorry for Chris, and feel that they need to help him overcome his demons. Out of all of the groups in the Unholy Tetrad, White Knights are by far the most benevolent, but many are naive to the fact that getting Chris to halt his self-destructive lifestyle is going to take a lot more than a message on social media, or a Patreon donation.

There is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for Chris, but without a combination of really tough love and proper resources, White Knights can unknowingly be as dangerous to Chris as the other three (sometimes worse), especially if they play along with Chris's belief that CWCville and his characters are real, or donate large amounts of money that Chris will blow away on conventions, toys and video games, instead of allaying growing fears of the so-called "Homeless Saga".

The level of devotion by White Knights vary greatly: the most moderate either back down or ask for a second opinion before making a fool of themselves, but the most fanatical may defend Chris even when it is clear as day that Chris was in the wrong. There is also a subgroup within the White Knights called Counter-trolls, who are always on Chris's side in regards to the trolls.

Criteria

  1. A person fervently defends Chris, even after it is obvious that Chris was in the wrong.
  2. A person believes that Chris's poor decisions can be overlooked, because of his disability (spoiler: it's not always the case).[1]

A-Logs

Main article: A-logging

A-Logs (or A-Loggers) are people who express disproportionate levels of hatred for Chris, often wishing misery or physical harm on him. The term comes from Anthony "A-Log" Logatto, who would constantly boast about his superiority over Chris (and other people), and attempt to frame Chris as evil (and not naive in reality).

A-Logs often sit in the opposite extreme of White Knights: while White Knights try (and fail) to defend and help Chris, A-Logs try (and fail) to compare Chris to actual tyrants like Théoneste Bagosora and Nicolae Ceaușescu: one does not have to mention another certain tyrant to understand how A-Logging against Chris makes no sense.

Some weens and malicious enablers may adapt one or more tactics from A-Logs as part of their attempt to ruin Chris's life: examples include flooding listings of locations that Chris go to with negative reviews about him, or pure extortion in an attempt to brute-force misery or physical harm (such as the so-called "Homeless Saga") on Chris.

Criteria

  1. A person tries to compare Chris to someone who is genuinely evil, such as a mass murderer or a war criminal.
  2. A person tries to interpret Chris's flaws as a threat to society, rather than as a result of bad parenting.
  3. A person wishes for misery or physical harm on Chris.
  4. A person celebrates or gloats when something bad happens to Chris.
  5. A person tries to brute-force misery or physical harm on Chris.

Enablers

Main article: Enablers

Enablers are people who consistently play along with Chris's beliefs about himself and the rest of the world. Enablers usually agree with Chris's belief that CWCville and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon are real, or donate large amounts of money that Chris will blow away to fuel his Peter Pan lifestyle. However, some enablers and weens (such as the Idea Guys) exploited Chris's weak grasp on reality for nefarious purposes.

Enablers are the most harmful to Chris, because it only fuels his already hyperinflated ego, in which he answers to no one but himself, and that people will always provide for him in all cases. In the case of the Idea Guys, their exploitation of Chris's naivety not only corrupted the Sonichu lore, but their extortion nearly caused the dreaded "Homeless Saga" in May 2018.[2]

In the 24 years since the creation of Sonichu, Chris's grasp on reality has deteriorated to a point that some White Knights face having to play along with Chris's beliefs to get in touch with him, and even after that there is no guarantee that Chris will follow their advice.

Criteria

  1. A person pretends to believe Chris's interpretation of reality as fact.
  2. A person genuinely believes Chris's interpretation of reality as fact.
  3. A person exploits Chris's weak grasp on reality for malicious purposes.

Weens

Main article: Weens

Weens are people that try and fail to ruin Chris's life. Examples of weening include trying to get him banned from places or websites that he visits, persistently spamming Chris's social media feeds with pickles and similar stuff to annoy him, or trying to start the so-called "Homeless Saga" by getting the local authority to condemn his house for demolition.

However, there is a lot of confusion as to what counts as weening: some observers tend to erroneously use the term against any trolling attempt since the death of Bob Chandler in 2011, even if it succeeds: some erroneously use the term against anyone who contacted Chris, even if they do not even fit the criteria of any of the Unholy Tetrad.

Regardless of how the term is used, trying to annoy Chris or ruin his life is a very bad idea now, especially with the devastating impact of the Idea Guys, and the escalating Financhu Crisis.

Criteria

  1. A person tries and fails to annoy Chris or ruin his life, and makes a fool of themselves as a result of it.
  2. A person brags about trying to annoy Chris or ruin his life.[3]

References

  1. Tate Modern balcony push: Teen admits attempted murder (London: BBC News, 6 December 2019). Accessed 12 February 2020.
  2. See also: 14 Branchland Court, Idea Guy influences section.
    1. A person constantly blurts out dated Chris memes like "JULAY" and "Ian Brandon Anderson" in order to appear relevant.
    So much for that "business" address on Reddit
The Unholy Quintet
White Knights  • A-logs  • Enablers  • Weens  • Carpetbaggers