Difference between revisions of "SpaghettiRoutine"

Latest revision as of 19:34, 13 September 2021

SpaghettiRoutine is a YouTube video that Chris uploaded on 30 October 2010. Jackie had requested him to make a video depicting him actually cooking spaghetti (which is a very simple dish to make) in his kitchen. Chris claimed that his mother had cluttered up the stove, and thus pretended to make spaghetti instead. Chris then presents microwaved spaghetti served on a paper plate and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he shoehorns in a not-so-subtle jab at Clyde Cash.

Video

SpaghettiRoutine
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Direct link	YouTube, archive
Stardate	30 October 2010
Subject Matter	Other Food, Trolls Trolls, Racism Racism
Performance Style	Crazy Crazy, Comedy Comedy
Shirt	Vert Red Vertical Red
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous ShowerClean2	next WelcometoBollywood

“

Unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way.

”

Transcript

Thank goodness for Chris's TRUE and HONEST Special Recipe. (DO NOT STEAL.)

For this presentation, I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen. But unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So, I am going to mime it.

[Mimes picking up a pot.]

Here's the pot.

[Wipes down the imaginary stove and mimes putting the pot on the burner.]

Put it on the stove.

[Mimes turning on the stove.]

Set it to the boiling temperature.

[Gestures upwards, making a sound that imitates steam rushing up, before making a tapping motion with his fingers to represent the water bubbling.]

Boop-boop-boop-boop! Ah, in time the water's boiling. So we take the pot of spaghetti noodles...

[Mimics opening a package of dried noodles.]

And...

[Hissing noises, wild gestures.]

Click click click click click click!

[Stirring motions. Adopts a baby voice.]

Noodles, smell so good!

[Lifts pretend noodles as if on a spoon.]

Mm, hey look at that. Drippy, no stiffy!

[Holds them close to the camera.]

I offer you some don—some non stiff drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might wanna wait a while.

[More hissing, more stirring.]

Yeah, I say our noodles are done.

[More imaginary knob turning. Chris motions as if holding a fishing rod.]

Hey, we pour—we drain the water out.

[Does so, and sets “pot” down.]

We get some plate-we get some plates.

[Mimes getting plates down.]

Oh wait a minute...we're serving two!

[In light of this epiphany, Chris tosses the excess plates away and makes shattering sounds.]

Heh heh! I'm just kiddin'.

[More gesturing, seems to be serving spaghetti.]

Fork.

[Mimes scraping pot.]

We don't want any noodles left behind! We'll rinse that out later! In the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce.

[Produces imaginary sauce. Unscrews it with unnecessary groaning noises, then a pop sound to indicate the lid coming off.]

There we go, I popped the seal!

[Pours it.]

Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop...and now some grated mozzarella!

[Sings while caressing the mozzarella.]

I gotta pop this seal. Bloop-bloop...

[Shakes it over the food.]

And we'll add other spices...from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever.

[More “unsealing”, more “shaking.”]

And you can make your own meatballs with uh, processed meat and... put it all on a tray or something, let me throw it in, rolling it all into balls. But they end up not so good, not as good, are they? So, what about we did, what if you buy your own meatballs? We had this pot-we had this package of Swedish meatballs, cook it in the microwave alread- so they're warming up already.

[Opens a package of imaginary meatballs, does something unidentifiable to them, and appears to dump them all over the “table.”]

And in the end, on one-at least on one of the two plates, you get somethin'...like this!

[Turns the camera to focus on a plate of real, albeit canned, spaghetti and meatballs on a paper plate. Zooms in and out on it.]

Yummy, yummy, delicious!

[Focuses back on himself. Goes back to the baby voice.]

So now we can sit down and eat our spaghetti. It is so delicious.

[Stirs the plate of real spaghetti with a plastic fork.]

Mmm...it smells so good!

[Holds a forkful up to the camera.]

You want a bite? Look at this, you want a bite? Mm, very good, num. You better take a bite, because you know what? Watch this- watch this- you watchin'?

[Chris mashes his face into the spaghetti like a child and takes several disgusting bites, then emerges with sauce on his nose and chin. He holds out his arms and flashes a shit-eating grin, like he did something worth praising.]

Ta-da!

[Laughs. Wipes his face with a paper towel.]

I'm just kiddin'. I wouldn't do that to you for real life, huh-huh. It's fun. Hey, at least my head's not fuckin' orange. Like a certain...

[Wipes nose some more]

...Cashey-type person I know.

[Turns camera off.]

⇐ ShowerClean2

Chris's videos

WelcometoBollywood ⇒

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-'''SpaghettiRoutine''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris mimes the preparation of spaghetti. He had planned to actually cook some spaghetti in his [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]], but [[Barb|his mother]] had cluttered up the stove. Chris then presents the finished dish served on a paper plate (due to lack of clean ones?) and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he makes a reference to an orange-faced [[Clyde Cash|Cashy type person]] he knows.
+'''SpaghettiRoutine''' is a [[YouTube]] [[video]] that [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. [[Jackie]] had requested him to make a video depicting him actually cooking spaghetti (which is a very simple dish to make) in his [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. Chris [[List of Chris's lies|claimed]] that [[Barb|his mother]] had cluttered up the stove, and thus ''pretended'' to make spaghetti instead. Chris then presents microwaved spaghetti served on a paper plate and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he shoehorns in a not-so-subtle jab at [[Clyde Cash]].
 ==Video==
@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 {{Infobox/video
 | name           = SpaghettiRoutine
-| video          = {{#ev:youtube|IZe8iAvUDMs}}
+| ytid           = BAIXSVcmZP8
 | stardate       = 30 [[October 2010]]
-| subject        = {{Other|Home Cooking}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
+| subject        = {{Other|[[Obesity|Food]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Racism|text}}
 | style          = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
-| saga           =
 | shirt          = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
 | previous       = [[ShowerClean2]]
@@ Line 15: / Line 14: @@
 }}
-===Transcript===
+{{quote|Unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way.}}
+=== Transcript ===
+[[Image:Chefboyardee.jpg|thumb|right|Thank goodness for Chris's [[TRUE and HONEST]] Special Recipe. (DO NOT STEAL.)]]
+For this presentation, I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen. But unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So, I am going to mime it.
+[''Mimes picking up a pot.'']
-For this presentation I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen! ...but unfortunately I don't have access cause Mom (garbled) put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So I am going to mime it.
-(Chris reaches over and grabs an imaginary pot.)
 Here's the pot.
-(Chris waves his hands over the imaginary stove, apparently cleaning it.)
-Put it on the stove.
+[''Wipes down the imaginary stove and mimes putting the pot on the burner.'']
-(He tweaks the air in front of him, turning the "stove" on.)
-Set it to the boiling temperature...
+Put it on the stove.
-(He waves his hands in front of him.)
-Boop-boop-boop! In time, the water's boiling, so we take a box of spaghetti noodles (he opens the "box" and dumps it in the "pot", then stirs it.)
+[''Mimes turning on the stove.'']
-Tweet-tweet-tweet-tweet!
-(He continues stirring, making a hissing noise as he does so.)
+Set it to the boiling temperature.
-(Baby voice) Noodle is so-so good!
-(He "lifts" some of the "noodles" out of the "pot.")
+[''Gestures upwards, making a sound that imitates steam rushing up, before making a tapping motion with his fingers to represent the water bubbling.'']
-Hey look at that, trippy, no sticky, I often use them don-- to non-stick drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might want to wait a while!
-(He hisses again and resumes stirring.)
+Boop-boop-boop-boop! Ah, in time the water's boiling. So we take the pot of spaghetti noodles...
-Well, I say our noodles are done.
-(Chris turns the "stove" off.)
+[''Mimics opening a package of dried noodles.'']
-Then we pour it-- we drain the water out!
-(He makes a draining noise and a kissy face.)
+And...
-We get some pla--we get some plates...
-(He grabs the "plates" and mimes distributing them.)
+[''Hissing noises, wild gestures.'']
-Oh wait a minute, we're serving doo (?)
-(He throws a "plate" and makes a smashing noise.)
+Click click click click click click!
-I'm just kiddin'.
-(He grabs some "noodles" from the "pot" and puts them on the "plate," then grabs "silverware.")
+[''Stirring motions. Adopts a baby voice.'']
-Fork!
-(He uses the "fork" to scrape the "noodles" onto the "plate.")
+Noodles, smell so good!
-Don't want any noodles to be left behind! And in the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce!
-(He takes the "jar", opens it with some difficulty...)
+[''Lifts pretend noodles as if on a spoon.'']
-Here we go, I popped the seal!
-(...and pours it onto the "noodles.")
+Mm, hey look at that. [[Duck|Drippy, no stiffy!]]
-Glug-glug-glug. And now, some grated mozzerella!
-(He "grinds" some "cheese" onto the "pasta" while making shaking noises.)
+[''Holds them close to the camera.'']
-And we'll add some other spices from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever!
-(He mimics doing so.)
+I offer you some don—some non stiff drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might wanna wait a while.
-And you can make your own meatballs with processed meat and putting it on a tray or something, letting it (?) and then rolling it all in a ball. But then they're not so good-- not as good, are they? So why not buy your own meatballs? We had this package of Swedish meatballs and we put it in the microwave-- warm it up already!
-(He mimics adding the meatballs to the pasta.)
+[''More hissing, more stirring.'']
-And in the end, on what-- at least-- on one of the two plates you get something like THIS!
-(He turns the camera toward a finished paper plate of pasta.)
+Yeah, I say our noodles are done.
-Yummy-yummy delicious!
-(He turns the camera back toward himself.)
+[''More imaginary knob turning. Chris motions as if holding a fishing rod.'']
-Now we can sit down and eat our spagheddy...it is so delicious! It smells so good! You want a bite?
-(He holds a forkfull of spaghetti up to the camera.)
+Hey, we pour—we drain the water out.
-Look at this, you want a bite? You better take a bite, cause you know what? Watch this! You watchin'?
-(He abruptly slams his face into the plate of pasta, getting sauce everywhere and laughs.)
+[''Does so, and sets “pot” down.'']
-I'm just kiddin'! (He wipes his face off.) I wouldn't do that to ya in real life, it's funny.
-Hey, at least my head's not fuckin' orange like a certain...Cashy-type person I know!
+We get some plate-we get some plates.
+[''Mimes getting plates down.'']
+Oh wait a minute...we're serving two!
+[''In light of this epiphany, Chris tosses the excess plates away and makes shattering sounds.'']
+Heh heh! I'm just kiddin'.
+[''More gesturing, seems to be serving spaghetti.'']
+Fork.
+[''Mimes scraping pot.'']
+We don't want any noodles left behind! We'll rinse that out later! In the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce.
+[''Produces imaginary sauce. Unscrews it with unnecessary groaning noises, then a pop sound to indicate the lid coming off.'']
+There we go, I popped the seal!
+[''Pours it.'']
+Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop...and now some grated mozzarella!
+[''Sings while caressing the mozzarella.'']
+I gotta pop this seal. Bloop-bloop...
+[''Shakes it over the food.'']
+And we'll add other spices...from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever.
+[''More “unsealing”, more “shaking.”'']
+And you can make your own meatballs with uh, processed meat and... put it all on a tray or something, let me throw it in, rolling it all into balls. But [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|they end up not so good]], not as good, are they? So, what about we did, what if you buy your own meatballs? We had this pot-we had this package of Swedish meatballs, cook it in the microwave alread- so they're warming up already.
+[''Opens a package of imaginary meatballs, does something unidentifiable to them, and appears to dump them all over the “table.”'']
+And in the end, on one-at least on one of the two plates, you get somethin'...like this!
+[''Turns the camera to focus on a plate of real, albeit canned, spaghetti and meatballs on a paper plate. Zooms in and out on it.'']
+Yummy, yummy, delicious!
+[''Focuses back on himself. Goes back to the baby voice.'']
+So now we can sit down and eat our spaghetti. It is so delicious.
+[''Stirs the plate of real spaghetti with a plastic fork.'']
+Mmm...it smells so good!
+[''Holds a forkful up to the camera.'']
+You want a bite? Look at this, you want a bite? Mm, very good, num. You better take a bite, because you know what? Watch this- watch this- you watchin'?
+[''Chris mashes his face into the spaghetti like a child and takes several disgusting bites, then emerges with sauce on his nose and chin. He holds out his arms and flashes a shit-eating grin, like he did something worth praising.'']
+Ta-da!
+[''Laughs. Wipes his face with a paper towel.'']
+I'm just kiddin'. I wouldn't do that to you for real life, huh-huh. It's fun. Hey, [[Clyde Cash|at least my head's not fuckin' orange]]. Like a certain...
+[''Wipes nose some more'']
+...Cashey-type person I know.
+[''Turns camera off.'']
 {{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ShowerClean2]]|nextlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]}}
@@ Line 70: / Line 145: @@
 [[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
+[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 c]]
+[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 c]]
+[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 c]]

Difference between revisions of "SpaghettiRoutine"

Latest revision as of 19:34, 13 September 2021

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