Obesity

Look at his "slender" figure.

PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, fatty.

“	One more thing, I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!	”
Chris, lying to White Knight

“	I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.	”
Chris to Jackie

Obesity is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the USA, with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the Chandler home, in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: Chris, Barbara, and even their cat, Desi.

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as a slim, barrel-chested hero in his comics and in Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE, when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named Sammy, whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But that's a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on October 2nd, Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on manboobs.co.uk.

Exercise

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing Guitar Hero a workout. During one of his PSN chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down, but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

Emily has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "Sonic speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in Sonichu's Edge.

In Mailbag 21, Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

Actual weight

In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with Kacey and Liquid Chris, he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." But in February 2010, he admitted that he once weighed even more than 220 pounds.

In WeighIn video, Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most experts believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity have caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point of him looking like he weighs more than 250 pounds, when he really is just 216 pounds of pure fat.

Denial

Horizontal stripes are very slimming!

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight. In IRC, Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing Guitar Hero. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called gay. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a poster that will help him lose weight. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with Evan, during his phone call with Kacey's father, and especially in his conversation with Kacey and Liquid Chris, where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with Liquid Chris, Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the real Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the Asperchu saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he used to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since high school. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a phone call with Jack Thaddeus that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that Chris has difficulty recognizing the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.

See also

• Chris and health
• Manboobs
• Country Cookin
• McDonald's
• Golden Corral
• Chick-fil-A