Difference between revisions of "DayOut"
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The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of nine videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], which show the rare sight of Chris's fat ass outdoors. | The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of nine videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], which show the rare sight of Chris's fat ass outdoors. | ||
Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as a [[McDonald's]], a [[Wal-Mart]], and a [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement? Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with his typical droning monotone; he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights – for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus – that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are an old hat, he ups the ante and launches into a [[random access humor]] assault. At this point, we must conclude that Chris's presentation skills still need a lot of work. | |||
[[File:Oil_Change_due_4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris' absurdly overdue oil change]] | [[File:Oil_Change_due_4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris' absurdly overdue oil change]] | ||
Revision as of 08:00, 27 October 2010
The DayOut videos are a series of nine videos Chris uploaded on 25 October 2010, which show the rare sight of Chris's fat ass outdoors.
Chris takes us on a trip around Ruckersville and Charlottesville and shows us such wonderful places as a McDonald's, a Wal-Mart, and a Burger King! Can you feel the excitement? Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with his typical droning monotone; he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is truly closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights – for example, the historic University of Virginia campus – that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are an old hat, he ups the ante and launches into a random access humor assault. At this point, we must conclude that Chris's presentation skills still need a lot of work.
His trusty steed shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change is for 5 April 2009 — nineteen months before this video was made — or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).
There are no less than three items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view — a tacky, faded plastic American flag, an Indian Head air freshener and a custom-made Sonichu air freshener — and a Homer Simpson doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.
Chris holds the camera while driving, panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his house. It's a miracle he didn't get in an accident.
DayOut1
| DayOut1 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter |  Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style |  "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt |  The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Wigwam |
next DayOut2 |
Transcript
Hello, today we are going on a drive-by tour of some of my favorite places around... town, here and there. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna... drive around.
DayOut2
| DayOut2 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut1 |
next DayOut3 |
Transcript
And, ah, coming up on, first on our trip we take a- as we go north to Ruckersville.
And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently, lets get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Wal-Mart that has been constructed, that has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.
There is the new McDonald's, small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement, because you basically have to go around the building twice just to get to the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane out of here, around there, I don't know or make this whole building do a whole 180.
Other than that, the Wal-mart is just fine the way it is.
And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the Burger King, that my father goes to sometimes.
DayOut3
| DayOut3 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing,  Rumors
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut2 |
next DayOut4 |
Transcript
This here is the Burger King that my father, goes to ever- practically every morning for breakfast and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes.
I am not a fast-food addict. And I am not that big, though I can stand to lose a few pounds.
DayOut4
| DayOut4 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut3 |
next DayOut5 |
Transcript
And next on our drive-by tour is our, is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, especially when they're on sale.
Sometimes we get our food from the ah, new Wal-mart. But it depends, but it depends on where the prices, or which one has lower prices. Cause most likely, over at Wal-mart, their food items are not on sale. They're usually on, quote on quote, roll-backs.
DayOut5
| DayOut5 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut4 |
next DayOut6 |
Transcript
[Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background]
Next up! Next up, in our drive by tour, we are in the For- we are in the shopsss of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, Tar-get? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selec-SHIN... possibly prices lower than Wal-Mart sometimes, but not all da tiiime.
Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys Restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar... uhhm. Paah... a Sakura-s, but then t'... An a'course one of the eh-many Gamestops, TGIFridays (a TGIFridays over there, za Gamestop here). And! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Deeter! Right over, there!
I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.
Anyway, a 'arrir Deeter, right over... there!
I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.
DayOut6
| DayOut6 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut5 |
next DayOut7 |
Transcript
[small pan around, the Handicap Sticker is prominent for a bit]
Chris: An-a-and in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is Fashion Square Shopping Center, at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, You have a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenny. Uhhh yes there is a Gamestop in there, an' a Spencers, and a Toys 'R' Us Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, back to the shopping center, because they lost some of-they lost that PO when they closed the Kaybee Toy Store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.
[pans camera to his face]
On the way over here, a few other note-kit-notable locations. Where um, the Sears Club and the Wal-Mart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a Chik-Fil-A, a Kroger's, Crutchfield, and Atlas Comic Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. Its just one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys-R-Us. Up the road...northwise. And there are other places, of which uh, we'll be taken note of. Ah, also up the road some more, is a K-Mart and a Big Lots... a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, I probably admit, there's another...Gamestop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a... Fed-Ex/Kinkos, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there . Bunch'a good stores over there. Shenanigans, and... that other store that's to it. Forget its name... I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.
DayOut7
| DayOut7 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut6 |
next DayOut8 |
Transcript
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be ah, passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.
I- I mean, I mean when I was ah li- just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.
Anyway we're going to drive-by now.
Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper.
There's the old playground. They need to update that, it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.
Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually.
But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little known place called McIntire Park.
I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.
And there's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.
DayOut8
| DayOut8 | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut7 |
next At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange |
Transcript
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have ah, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably Parkour thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a Parkour I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.
Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.
C'mon. Come on.
Anyway jus- just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.
Ugh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.
If you want to do this step by step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.
At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 25 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Sightseeing
|
| Performance Style | "The Tour Guide"
|
| Shirt | The Swamp Monster
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DayOut8 |
next WeighIn |
The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido Clyde Cash.
Transcript
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places, we can drive down the t- down the corner, and the UVA, the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.
Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.
Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. (Sigh). Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.
Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Wal-mart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.
UVA medical, medical centre and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.
Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.
Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.
Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)
Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. Circuit City, there's one left, come find us. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or at least was, no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.
Everybody wants to sing the song.
And a few calls of ah, rape around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.
And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, my father was first on the race, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. Please forgive the reflective sunlight.
Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr Thomas Jefferson and the winners, the, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.
Hmmm,give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.
There's something strange, in your head, who you gonna call, Mr Fred. He wets the bed. What are you gonna do when Mr Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.
Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.
This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-
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