June 2014 leaks
In June 2014, CWCkiforums user SkyRaider91[1] leaked scans of several documents from Chris' high school classes. Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of the January 2014 fire and subsequent events at 14 BLC.
Parenting
Parenting Interview
Presumably Chris interviewed Barb and/or Bob for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving brief answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "dealing w. public school sys", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations", possibly referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children.
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Describing Development
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly.
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Help This Unborn Child
Chapter 1 study guide
Chapter 2 study guide
Chapter 5 study guide
Empathy Belly essay
Chris describes the experience of wearing an empathy belly.
“ | ...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my private part, which gave me a strange, weird feeling. | ” |
Chris, describing in a typed essay that the empathy belly rubbed his penis |
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U.S. Government
Amendment Timeline
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is to be expected, Chris used multiple conventions for writing out dates, and made several prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.
“ | Dear LADY; PAYUP! | ” |
Congress |
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English
English 1999 Grade Report
Chris' 1999 English grade report reveals that he received failing grades on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year.
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================================================================================ Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26 ================================================================================ Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990 NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English I.D.: SECTION: LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio ASSIGNMENTS ----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+ NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE | ----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+ 1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 | 2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 | 3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 | 4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 | 5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 | 6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X | 7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 | 8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 | 9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 | 10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 | 11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 | 12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 | 13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 | 14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 | ----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+ CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+ COMMENTS: year- 78 |
Japan War Essay
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay intended to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris describes as "a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!". Most of the content is directly quoted from other works (although attributed), and the thesis (if it can be called that) is incredibly vague.
Also note that despite this essay being for his English class, and apparently being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as Ricardo, on the final draft.
“ | So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to get it on. | ” |
Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history |
“ | At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war. | ” |
Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he quoted begins with "At the end of World War I..." |
“ | But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way... | ” |
Chris |
“ | "Very confusing + unclear." | ” |
Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as Chris's writing in general |
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Best President Essay
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included, and both include teacher corrections. Both drafts are typed. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Whether this grade was deserved will be left as an exercise for the historian.
{{collapsible|transcription|{{quotebox|
TYPE THREE WRITING
Name: Christian Weston Chandler.
Subject Area: Social Studies
Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart
English Teacher: Dorazio
English Period: 1st
Christian W. Chandler. 3/25/99 U.S. Govt., 3.
FCA's: 1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points) 2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points) 3. Spelling. (10 points)
"Who was our best President" essay:
The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.
Kennedy had integrity when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.
Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."
And Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.
To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
Warm Fuzzies
Student Life Essay
A rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance. For some unknown reason, Chris drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below in bold; possibly a peer or the teacher) has struck out and corrected some parts of the draft, and ironically made several errors of their own in doing so.
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S.O.L. Test
Chris suggests in this Standards of Learning (SOL) essay that his high school's "seinor" class fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, demonstrating that he has no concept of how much that would cost. He alludes to gym teachers having "wet-wild" times with the students in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at innuendo or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how creepy it came across.
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Spanish
This work is dated 7/12/98, most likely referring to 7 December 1998 using the Spanish date format. Chris used pop culture figures (Pokémon, Sonic, The Powerpuff Girls) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seem to have watched Spanish dubs of The Powerpuff Girls in class[2], so for once he isn't randomly shoving fictional characters into schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as muy delgado ("very thin"), Ricardo the Raichu as muy divertido ("very funny"), Cole the Beedrill as muy feo ("very ugly"), and later refers to Ricardo as a bombero ("firefighter").
Chemistry
Mock Job Interview
Getting Acquainted
Safety Worksheets
Safety in the Kitchen worksheet
Chris would go on to ignore many of the lessons from this kitchen safety worksheet, allowing him to slip on cat shit in the kitchen and burn down his house by plugging in a coffee maker to an extension cord in the bathroom.
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Kitchen Safety outline
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless "putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks" counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
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Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.
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History
Map showing strategic movements during the Korean War, including those of Dong Mc Arthur.