Difference between revisions of "CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009"
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[[Captain%27s_Log|Captain's Log]]: Stardate August 11, 2009 | |||
Hello my loyal fanbase, I would like to address the impostor, Ian Brandon Anderson, for a moment. I officially declare myself the winner of the [[SingStar_Challenge|SingStar Challenge Contest]] between your- because your judges have not followed- have not followed any rules, uh, up- uploaded any videos. My judges have been following the rules and given me scores. Therefore, because you have no scores, you are out of the running, and I am the true Christian Weston Chandler. | |||
Now, I don't care if you're stealing my original work and comic pages, and arts, and uploading onto a dimpy little website where no one will see them and be- while the true comics are about to be published by {{w||Dark Horse Comics}}. Yes, you heard it right. Dark Horse is fent- they are working fedrously ??- furiously to create and draw and write the first Sonichu Episode 0 comic within accordance from SEGA and Nintendo. | |||
Now they are also working with a certain Microsoft as well. My current status on the project is they may hire me as Production Manager. So, y'know, keep my fingers crossed. [''holds up crossed fingers close to the camera for a few seconds'']. But uh, another thing, I present to you another true Sonichu merchandise selling site. It's cwcstore.blogspot.com, and it's your one-stop-shop for anything [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], or [[CWCville]]-related. I will show you a bit of the site right here. | |||
[''Camera shows scrolling through front page of shop with various products such as T-shirts, DVD sets, and comics''] | |||
And on another note, they're, uh, umm, gonna start selling, uhh [[LEGO]] sets of CWCville along with guides to the city, so, uhh, be looking forward to that one, uhh, true believers. [''holds up box of LEGOs with very clearly fake CWCville label''] | |||
The, uhh, [[The_Sonichu_Chronicles|Sonichu Crystal Chronicles]] game has come along pretty well. It's going to be a, uhh, RPG-style game, Role-Playing Game, and outside the city of CWCville. And, ehh, it is currently being produced, uhh, in tandem with Microsoft for the X- [''sigh of disappointment, but acting strong''] for the Xbox 360. Look forward, uhh, to the official revealing of it in the, uhh, Game Developer- DOS and Game Developers' Conference. | |||
Hmm, anyway, uhh, yeah so that's about it for now. Still making lots of monies, rollin' in th- rollin' in th- rollin' in the dough, y'know, and uhh. [''melodramatically''] Who knows what the future holds! | |||
Peace. | |||
[''black screen for a few seconds''] | |||
And to my darling sweetheart [[Kacey]], eventually I'll light a magical lighthouse to randomly shown ?? its healing, guiding light upon my previously-shattered heart and tortured soul and mended them back to good shape and form. One girl walked into my life like a sailor-soldier having just vanquished a Heart Snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed your shining lustrous hair, your shiny blue Chaos Emerald-like eyes, and personality strong and caring like a true buttercup bloom. I follow my recovered heart's instincts and followed you. As I got to know you over the months, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for you. I blushed more strawberry-pink than I ever ha- than I have ever before, and everything around me was shining like a sun's mellow color, yellow. | |||
Uhh, for you I would travel even a thousand mile just to be with ya. Fortunately, uhh, you lives only about 2 hours away from my house, and uhh, I mee- I meet you when we date. This feeling, it was, and still is, so pure and true. It was as- it was if I was born to love you. When you smiles, I feel like I'm walking on sunshine. As I give my replying smile, I gaze into your eyes, and your hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud 9? I feel like I'm on 10. | |||
Kacey, my love, would you marry me? [''bends off camera to retrieve a pink Rosechu medallion, holds it in front of the camera, and awkwardly looks around the room for a few seconds''] | |||
Peace.}} | |||
===I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.=== | ===I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.=== | ||
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===GONE=== | ===GONE=== | ||
This video is a parody of the scene in ''{{w|The Dark Knight}}'' where the Joker kidnaps Brian Douglas. | |||
{{Infobox/Liquid | {{Infobox/Liquid | ||
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| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]] | | next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]] | ||
}} | }} | ||
{{ | |||
{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible" | |||
| <strong>Transcript</strong> | |||
|- | |||
|[''Liquid Chris (played by Chris Ducksworth) is shown tied up in a dingy-looking basement with a familiar orange hue, while Solid Chris (played by Jon Ducksworth) haphazardly holds the camera.''] | |||
<font color="#0033FF">'''Solid:'''</font> [[Captain's Log]], Stardate, August 13th, 2009. Tell them your name. | |||
<font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''</font> Christian Weston Chandler. | |||
<font color="#0033FF">'''Solid:'''</font> [''laughs maniacally''] Are you the ''real'' Chris-Chan? | |||
<font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''</font> Yes. | |||
<font color="#0033FF">'''Solid:'''</font> NO! | |||
<font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''</font> Yes. | |||
<font color="#0033FF">'''Solid:'''</font> NO! | |||
<font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''</font> Yes. | |||
<font color="#0033FF">'''Solid:'''</font> [''laughing''] Then why do you dress up like him?! [''takes off Liquid's medallion, laughs evilly, and drops it''] | |||
<font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''</font> It's a... symbol, so we don't have to be afraid of scum like you, Ian. | |||
<font color="#0033FF">'''Solid:'''</font> Oh, you do, Christian. [''prods his face''] Oh, you REALLY do. Huh?! Yeah. Ah, shhh... you think you've made CWCville a better place? Hmm? Look at me. {{RageQuote|''LOOK'' AT ME!}} You see? This is how kicking, this is how kickin' me in the balls works out. I would, uh, I would tell you right now I was comin' for ya, and now since I finally have ya, I'm gonna give you that ''peace of my mind'' that I told you about there. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler! [''video cuts off mid-evil laughter''] | |||
|} | |||
===10152009=== | ===10152009=== | ||
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CWC}} | CWC}} | ||
{{Transcript}} | {{collapsible|Transcript| | ||
Captain’s log, Stardate October fi-fifteenth, 2009. [''[[stress sigh]]''] | |||
Hello my loyal fanbase. As-a-alot has happened to me, uh this past month and a half. I shall tell you first and foremost that uh I am safe, as- and straight, and I would like to note to a note there that uh what- what uh happened- what happened to me there and why you have not heard from me for so long. Oh, and my- and my Sonichu medallion, I do not have it at the moment because it was stolen from me. | |||
I was ready for my bus to Redmond, but-uh-just-at the bus stop there, all of a sudden I felt someone touching me on my... yeah. So I turned around, because you know, I am TAKEN by my sweetest Kaceeyyyy, and it was none other than the impostor Christian Weston Chandler himself, or as he is better known, Ian Brandon Anderson! I called him out and I said, “Hey you Ian An-“, I said, “Hhh-hey you Ian Brandon Anderson” he st-he started screaming and covering his ears and then he knocked me out with a Chun-Li kick. And so, I woke up at a meat- in a meat packing factory. I knew it was a meat packing factory because there was- [''pauses and swallows awkwardly''] there was alotttt of pictures of uh...... [''pauses in disgust''] ducks… hanging around. Yeah, he made me uh- get on camera and then he force fed me a lots of uh… D-R-U-G-S. I-I didn’t even know there were so many kinds of them, but I passed out before I could even find ou- uh- before I could even tell, and the next thing you know eh- I’M WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SAHARA DESERT, AND MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! I’M BLEEDING OUT OF MY- t’yeah, so… yeah. | |||
So just suh- so just all y’all so you know by now, that impostor is a homosexual. I had to get an OPERATION! So I called thru- I- [''pauses, licks lips, stress sighs and shakes head back and forth''] I crawled through the desert on my stomach for like a whooole month and until some really nice guys from Aladdin picked me up and they let me stay with them in their tent, and they took me to a city and where I found out that I had been kidnapped and taken to Africa! And so- but- and- [''stress sigh''] So ‘bout a week ago I called my sweetest Kacey, and she was so happy- [''clutches chest and speaks with concern and heartache''] she was so happy to see me, and I- I had been talking to her about getting our engagement re-r-reinfor-reinstated. [''video cuts to a slightly different angle and position''] | |||
And I ask you Kasey, will you please- will you please marry me again? [''mimics opening an engagement ring box using his hands''] | |||
[''Moves engagement ring box closer to his chest and reopens it''] Opening to my heart. [''video cuts back to original angle''] | |||
And a very upcoming date... yeah and uh- yeah and on an’urr note ‘der, I am going back to Redmond to my own office with my own secretary to take up- to take up my rightful job as the owner of the Sonichu franchise, and just so y’all know, that Project Needlemouse game, that Sega was working on, that was uh- that was gonna be the Sonichu game, but when I got kidnapped they had to- they had to act like it was just another Sonic title. So now I am gonna- I am gonna- I am going back to work that up and put a jump start in the comics and- and the game, and as for that impostor, I want to see his head on a pike! [''video cuts''] | |||
Peace. [''holds up peace sign''] And have a good d-}} | |||
==Kacey Saga== | == Kacey Saga == | ||
===THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.=== | ===THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.=== | ||
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CWC (Christopher by Birth)}} | CWC (Christopher by Birth)}} | ||
{{Transcript}} | {{collapsible|Transcript| | ||
[Positioning camera] Mmm. Okay. Alright. Yeah. So, I am still not your friend, Mr. Impostor, Mister Ian Brandon Anderson himself! You know who you are. How- I- how could I be friends with such a stupid jerk who is always trying to take over my Sonichu franchise! You're the Dr. Egg-man! You're the Dr. Robotnik. Come up with a- with the new plans.. Steal my original characters. [exhales] | |||
Yeah. You know, you are so lucky, because when I was gone, Kacey started falling in love with you. And- but in ten seconds of Sonic running speed, you have dispelled her and I have picked her up in my- in my loving arms again, and I have picked her up. And you know what else, she would have... Mm. She would've a f-... Mm. She would have fallen in love with you i- [sighs], except for a good thing that you never even cared about her. Ah. I- I am- yeah, I am telling you this, and making this video here, to tell you: You lost out, man! Kinda like how Jack Shephard got lots- uh lost in the jungle... and saw a monster. Or John Locke got lost in the woods and killed a bunch of boars... one by one. [in a TV announcer voice]"LOST! Only on ABC! Only"- yeah. Hm. | |||
But yeah, aside from you being a no-good, crappy impostor, I guess maybe that you- I do have something to thank you for. Thanks for keeping Kacey all warm and fired-up for me! Now I will get all the real action, bay-bee! You- she knows how- we're gonna see how she knows- that I like- I'm gonna drive her home at night. Hm. Yeah, and this is- this is not limited to making out, kisses and, and boobies, which are so- which- her boobies are so beaut- beautiful and large, and laaarge, even for my God-given daughter, Crystal, might I mention that soon-to-be God-given daughter Crystal.. Though, err, it has yet to happen. And another thing, [exhales audibly] we are going to swim through a watery maze and make passionate love to each other and it's going to be awesome. [exhales audibly] So you leave her to me, you hear? Ha! Ha! Ha! And don't worry, Ian Brandon Anderson, I am sure you will find yourself a nice girlfriend-free boy to have as a sweetheart someday, you homo! Mm. [exhales] Yeah, only none other than a homosexual wou- who is going to hell would not fight to get a girl like Kacey. In fact, I think- I think you are so gay for resisting her obvious advances. Stay off of my Axe!... it's not for the homos. But, uhh, yeah, she is all mine now. Don't like that? Tough cookies. | |||
In fact, I have a challenge for you. You wanna save your reputation? Duuuude? Ian Brandon Aaandersson? Duuuude? I- I dare you- I dare you, and I will be waiting, I dare you to make a video about why you are better for Kacey... than me, or else... or else you w- or else you will have admitted that you have never cared for her in the first place, and everyone on the internet will see that you are a jerk and a schmuck, [vibrating noise] and they will see that I- I was always the- they will see that I was always the true and original CWC. I was... yeah. | |||
And to all you [exhales] and to all you who have placed bids on my- on my custom-painted, uhh, meat-wad, shred-wad, rock-panned Rockband guitar on eBay, it has been sold- it has now been sold, and I have the money from your sale right here. [produces a wad of folded $20 bills] | |||
To the rest of you, who are good and true, peace. | |||
And have a good day.}} | |||
===BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(=== | ===BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(=== | ||
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CWC}} | CWC}} | ||
{{Transcript}} | |||
{{collapsible|Transcript| | |||
--ut'n, don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [''Jump cut''] I'll s--I'll s--I'll school ya. I'll take you to town! | |||
[''Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and performs several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in [[CWC Fighter]].''] | |||
I'm comin' for ya! | |||
[''Re-approaches camera''] | |||
I am the only one here who is fit for [[Kacey]]! [''Jump cut''] And another thing! [''Jump cut''] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you. | |||
[''Steps away from the camera''] | |||
The real deal! '''[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!!]]''' | |||
[''Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.''] | |||
Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Gregg Mays]], who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [''Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold''] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [''More heavy breathing''] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever. | |||
So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh.}} | |||
===M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back=== | ===M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back=== | ||
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CWC}} | CWC}} | ||
{{Transcript}} | |||
{{collapsible|Transcript| | |||
[[Kacey]] doesn't love you, it's true | |||
I checked her email this Tuesday at 7:02 | |||
She has more apprehension than someone like you, | |||
having your [[semen]] and drinking it too | |||
[[Fanta|In orange fanta, chocolate syrup, you just can't refuse | |||
Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true | |||
But you prove them wrong, "bottoms up" is your motto | |||
So it slides down your throat like a melted gelato.]] | |||
Wearing that bathrobe, like greener than avocado, mashed up in a bathtub, | |||
infested with live mold | |||
Your shower's gotta problem with that so I've been told. | |||
In fact I've seen it, you're 27 years old. | |||
[[CWCFlyingElephants|You get naked on camera and dance around like a tenfold.]] | |||
Fuck you, [[Niggos|nigga]]. You're makin my head explode | |||
You know, with the "stop this" and "stop that" | |||
And the exposée of your ass crack | |||
On the camera, it was so wack | |||
Looked like jack black, on your last track | |||
Motherfucker, I never tried kicking an ass this hard | |||
But I'm about to chew up and spit yours about one million yards | |||
I'll take your picture and send it to your bodyguard | |||
Now everybody, yeah, sing along | |||
Now everybody drawing comic pages for ages | |||
The sages of rage, and the age of contagion's voracious | |||
And pages, like the motherfuckin plague is | |||
Upon a plantation, and faces can't explain this | |||
Sorry, didn't understand that? | |||
Understand my ass crack, I'm back in black | |||
And so is my battery, runs on AC/DC | |||
You don't deserve to listen to a band this legendary, get the fuck off of [[Kacey]] | |||
Blaze me? you're pasty, you can't stop me or block me or amaze me | |||
You won't even come to her rescue, cuz you're [[Chris and work|lazy]] | |||
It doesn't faze me, that you're crazy | |||
Cuz if I see you try to contain me, | |||
Then when I kick your ass I'll salt and shake thee | |||
I'm gonna rip off your [[Duck|4 inch deformed dick]], | |||
[[Julie Reveals Herself|Shove it up your ass, like a certain medallion]] | |||
Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic | |||
Because bitch I'm [[Autism|high fuckin functioning autistic]]}} | |||
===My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey=== | ===My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey=== |
Latest revision as of 15:02, 4 September 2024
The following videos were uploaded by Liquid Chris from August through November 2009.
This time period encompasses the Kacey Saga, and ends with Sonichu Special 4: the notorious shot-through-the-knees comic.
Pre-Kacey Saga
Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.
Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN. | |
Stardate | August 10, 2009 |
Subject Matter | Ian Brandon Anderson |
Performance Style | Angry |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous RE-DONE Lift Up Your Eyes |
next New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
I am VERY Ticked Off right Now.
CWC |
This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative. |
Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)
I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest | |
Stardate | 11 August 2009 |
Subject Matter | Music |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN. |
next I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
Hello, y'all. Just droppin' by For a Quick Update. Check out the New Store! http://cwcstore.blogspot.com/
CWC |
Transcript |
---|
Captain's Log: Stardate August 11, 2009 Hello my loyal fanbase, I would like to address the impostor, Ian Brandon Anderson, for a moment. I officially declare myself the winner of the SingStar Challenge Contest between your- because your judges have not followed- have not followed any rules, uh, up- uploaded any videos. My judges have been following the rules and given me scores. Therefore, because you have no scores, you are out of the running, and I am the true Christian Weston Chandler. Now, I don't care if you're stealing my original work and comic pages, and arts, and uploading onto a dimpy little website where no one will see them and be- while the true comics are about to be published by Dark Horse Comics. Yes, you heard it right. Dark Horse is fent- they are working fedrously ??- furiously to create and draw and write the first Sonichu Episode 0 comic within accordance from SEGA and Nintendo. Now they are also working with a certain Microsoft as well. My current status on the project is they may hire me as Production Manager. So, y'know, keep my fingers crossed. [holds up crossed fingers close to the camera for a few seconds]. But uh, another thing, I present to you another true Sonichu merchandise selling site. It's cwcstore.blogspot.com, and it's your one-stop-shop for anything Sonichu, Rosechu, or CWCville-related. I will show you a bit of the site right here. [Camera shows scrolling through front page of shop with various products such as T-shirts, DVD sets, and comics] And on another note, they're, uh, umm, gonna start selling, uhh LEGO sets of CWCville along with guides to the city, so, uhh, be looking forward to that one, uhh, true believers. [holds up box of LEGOs with very clearly fake CWCville label] The, uhh, Sonichu Crystal Chronicles game has come along pretty well. It's going to be a, uhh, RPG-style game, Role-Playing Game, and outside the city of CWCville. And, ehh, it is currently being produced, uhh, in tandem with Microsoft for the X- [sigh of disappointment, but acting strong] for the Xbox 360. Look forward, uhh, to the official revealing of it in the, uhh, Game Developer- DOS and Game Developers' Conference. Hmm, anyway, uhh, yeah so that's about it for now. Still making lots of monies, rollin' in th- rollin' in th- rollin' in the dough, y'know, and uhh. [melodramatically] Who knows what the future holds! Peace. [black screen for a few seconds] And to my darling sweetheart Kacey, eventually I'll light a magical lighthouse to randomly shown ?? its healing, guiding light upon my previously-shattered heart and tortured soul and mended them back to good shape and form. One girl walked into my life like a sailor-soldier having just vanquished a Heart Snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed your shining lustrous hair, your shiny blue Chaos Emerald-like eyes, and personality strong and caring like a true buttercup bloom. I follow my recovered heart's instincts and followed you. As I got to know you over the months, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for you. I blushed more strawberry-pink than I ever ha- than I have ever before, and everything around me was shining like a sun's mellow color, yellow. Uhh, for you I would travel even a thousand mile just to be with ya. Fortunately, uhh, you lives only about 2 hours away from my house, and uhh, I mee- I meet you when we date. This feeling, it was, and still is, so pure and true. It was as- it was if I was born to love you. When you smiles, I feel like I'm walking on sunshine. As I give my replying smile, I gaze into your eyes, and your hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud 9? I feel like I'm on 10. Kacey, my love, would you marry me? [bends off camera to retrieve a pink Rosechu medallion, holds it in front of the camera, and awkwardly looks around the room for a few seconds] Peace. |
I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up. | |
Stardate | 14 August 2009 |
Subject Matter | Music Kacey |
Performance Style | Reason |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :) |
next GONE |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
The Judges also Agree: I am the WINNER of the SingStar Challenge and the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler. Goodbye, Youtube. And Every Soul whose Heart I have Touched, and has Touched Mine Back. I have Found Myself, and Kacey and I will Grow Together.
CWC |
This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative. |
GONE
This video is a parody of the scene in The Dark Knight where the Joker kidnaps Brian Douglas.
GONE | |
Stardate | 15 August 2009 |
Subject Matter | Death threats |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up. |
next 10152009 |
Transcript |
[Liquid Chris (played by Chris Ducksworth) is shown tied up in a dingy-looking basement with a familiar orange hue, while Solid Chris (played by Jon Ducksworth) haphazardly holds the camera.]
Solid: Captain's Log, Stardate, August 13th, 2009. Tell them your name. Liquid: Christian Weston Chandler. Solid: [laughs maniacally] Are you the real Chris-Chan? Liquid: Yes. Solid: NO! Liquid: Yes. Solid: NO! Liquid: Yes. Solid: [laughing] Then why do you dress up like him?! [takes off Liquid's medallion, laughs evilly, and drops it] Liquid: It's a... symbol, so we don't have to be afraid of scum like you, Ian. Solid: Oh, you do, Christian. [prods his face] Oh, you REALLY do. Huh?! Yeah. Ah, shhh... you think you've made CWCville a better place? Hmm? Look at me. LOOK AT ME!
|
10152009
10152009 | |
Stardate | 15 October 2009 |
Subject Matter | Rumours Homos |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous GONE |
next THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher. |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
I am Not Dead!!! Also, I have Sonichu's Patent now. Thank you For Your Support, my Fans!
CWC |
Transcript |
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Captain’s log, Stardate October fi-fifteenth, 2009. [stress sigh] Hello my loyal fanbase. As-a-alot has happened to me, uh this past month and a half. I shall tell you first and foremost that uh I am safe, as- and straight, and I would like to note to a note there that uh what- what uh happened- what happened to me there and why you have not heard from me for so long. Oh, and my- and my Sonichu medallion, I do not have it at the moment because it was stolen from me. I was ready for my bus to Redmond, but-uh-just-at the bus stop there, all of a sudden I felt someone touching me on my... yeah. So I turned around, because you know, I am TAKEN by my sweetest Kaceeyyyy, and it was none other than the impostor Christian Weston Chandler himself, or as he is better known, Ian Brandon Anderson! I called him out and I said, “Hey you Ian An-“, I said, “Hhh-hey you Ian Brandon Anderson” he st-he started screaming and covering his ears and then he knocked me out with a Chun-Li kick. And so, I woke up at a meat- in a meat packing factory. I knew it was a meat packing factory because there was- [pauses and swallows awkwardly] there was alotttt of pictures of uh...... [pauses in disgust] ducks… hanging around. Yeah, he made me uh- get on camera and then he force fed me a lots of uh… D-R-U-G-S. I-I didn’t even know there were so many kinds of them, but I passed out before I could even find ou- uh- before I could even tell, and the next thing you know eh- I’M WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SAHARA DESERT, AND MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! I’M BLEEDING OUT OF MY- t’yeah, so… yeah. So just suh- so just all y’all so you know by now, that impostor is a homosexual. I had to get an OPERATION! So I called thru- I- [pauses, licks lips, stress sighs and shakes head back and forth] I crawled through the desert on my stomach for like a whooole month and until some really nice guys from Aladdin picked me up and they let me stay with them in their tent, and they took me to a city and where I found out that I had been kidnapped and taken to Africa! And so- but- and- [stress sigh] So ‘bout a week ago I called my sweetest Kacey, and she was so happy- [clutches chest and speaks with concern and heartache] she was so happy to see me, and I- I had been talking to her about getting our engagement re-r-reinfor-reinstated. [video cuts to a slightly different angle and position] And I ask you Kasey, will you please- will you please marry me again? [mimics opening an engagement ring box using his hands] [Moves engagement ring box closer to his chest and reopens it] Opening to my heart. [video cuts back to original angle] And a very upcoming date... yeah and uh- yeah and on an’urr note ‘der, I am going back to Redmond to my own office with my own secretary to take up- to take up my rightful job as the owner of the Sonichu franchise, and just so y’all know, that Project Needlemouse game, that Sega was working on, that was uh- that was gonna be the Sonichu game, but when I got kidnapped they had to- they had to act like it was just another Sonic title. So now I am gonna- I am gonna- I am going back to work that up and put a jump start in the comics and- and the game, and as for that impostor, I want to see his head on a pike! [video cuts] Peace. [holds up peace sign] And have a good d- |
Kacey Saga
THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.
THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher. | |
Stardate | 21 October 2009 |
Subject Matter | Kacey |
Performance Style | Angry |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous 10152009 |
next BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-( |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE, for KACEY AND I'S PURE LOVE. I will Be Right Here.
CWC (Christopher by Birth) |
Transcript |
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[Positioning camera] Mmm. Okay. Alright. Yeah. So, I am still not your friend, Mr. Impostor, Mister Ian Brandon Anderson himself! You know who you are. How- I- how could I be friends with such a stupid jerk who is always trying to take over my Sonichu franchise! You're the Dr. Egg-man! You're the Dr. Robotnik. Come up with a- with the new plans.. Steal my original characters. [exhales] Yeah. You know, you are so lucky, because when I was gone, Kacey started falling in love with you. And- but in ten seconds of Sonic running speed, you have dispelled her and I have picked her up in my- in my loving arms again, and I have picked her up. And you know what else, she would have... Mm. She would've a f-... Mm. She would have fallen in love with you i- [sighs], except for a good thing that you never even cared about her. Ah. I- I am- yeah, I am telling you this, and making this video here, to tell you: You lost out, man! Kinda like how Jack Shephard got lots- uh lost in the jungle... and saw a monster. Or John Locke got lost in the woods and killed a bunch of boars... one by one. [in a TV announcer voice]"LOST! Only on ABC! Only"- yeah. Hm. But yeah, aside from you being a no-good, crappy impostor, I guess maybe that you- I do have something to thank you for. Thanks for keeping Kacey all warm and fired-up for me! Now I will get all the real action, bay-bee! You- she knows how- we're gonna see how she knows- that I like- I'm gonna drive her home at night. Hm. Yeah, and this is- this is not limited to making out, kisses and, and boobies, which are so- which- her boobies are so beaut- beautiful and large, and laaarge, even for my God-given daughter, Crystal, might I mention that soon-to-be God-given daughter Crystal.. Though, err, it has yet to happen. And another thing, [exhales audibly] we are going to swim through a watery maze and make passionate love to each other and it's going to be awesome. [exhales audibly] So you leave her to me, you hear? Ha! Ha! Ha! And don't worry, Ian Brandon Anderson, I am sure you will find yourself a nice girlfriend-free boy to have as a sweetheart someday, you homo! Mm. [exhales] Yeah, only none other than a homosexual wou- who is going to hell would not fight to get a girl like Kacey. In fact, I think- I think you are so gay for resisting her obvious advances. Stay off of my Axe!... it's not for the homos. But, uhh, yeah, she is all mine now. Don't like that? Tough cookies. In fact, I have a challenge for you. You wanna save your reputation? Duuuude? Ian Brandon Aaandersson? Duuuude? I- I dare you- I dare you, and I will be waiting, I dare you to make a video about why you are better for Kacey... than me, or else... or else you w- or else you will have admitted that you have never cared for her in the first place, and everyone on the internet will see that you are a jerk and a schmuck, [vibrating noise] and they will see that I- I was always the- they will see that I was always the true and original CWC. I was... yeah. And to all you [exhales] and to all you who have placed bids on my- on my custom-painted, uhh, meat-wad, shred-wad, rock-panned Rockband guitar on eBay, it has been sold- it has now been sold, and I have the money from your sale right here. [produces a wad of folded $20 bills] To the rest of you, who are good and true, peace. And have a good day. |
BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(
BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-( | |
Stardate | 28 October 2009 |
Subject Matter | Kacey |
Performance Style | Angry |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher. |
next M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
Recorded in Front of the CWCVille Mayor's Office :)
CWC |
Transcript |
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--ut'n, don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [Jump cut] I'll s--I'll s--I'll school ya. I'll take you to town! [Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and performs several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in CWC Fighter.] I'm comin' for ya! [Re-approaches camera] I am the only one here who is fit for Kacey! [Jump cut] And another thing! [Jump cut] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you. [Steps away from the camera] The real deal! Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!! [Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.] Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named Jack Thaddeus and Gregg Mays, who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [More heavy breathing] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever. So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh. |
M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back
M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back | |
Stardate | 29 October 2009 |
Subject Matter | Kacey Music |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-( |
next My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
Please Excuse the Curses, Swearing, and General Bad Language in this Video.
Peace, CWC |
Transcript |
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Kacey doesn't love you, it's true I checked her email this Tuesday at 7:02 She has more apprehension than someone like you, having your semen and drinking it too In orange fanta, chocolate syrup, you just can't refuse Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true But you prove them wrong, "bottoms up" is your motto So it slides down your throat like a melted gelato. Wearing that bathrobe, like greener than avocado, mashed up in a bathtub, infested with live mold Your shower's gotta problem with that so I've been told. In fact I've seen it, you're 27 years old. You get naked on camera and dance around like a tenfold. Fuck you, nigga. You're makin my head explode You know, with the "stop this" and "stop that" And the exposée of your ass crack On the camera, it was so wack Looked like jack black, on your last track Motherfucker, I never tried kicking an ass this hard But I'm about to chew up and spit yours about one million yards I'll take your picture and send it to your bodyguard Now everybody, yeah, sing along Now everybody drawing comic pages for ages The sages of rage, and the age of contagion's voracious And pages, like the motherfuckin plague is Upon a plantation, and faces can't explain this Sorry, didn't understand that? Understand my ass crack, I'm back in black And so is my battery, runs on AC/DC You don't deserve to listen to a band this legendary, get the fuck off of Kacey Blaze me? you're pasty, you can't stop me or block me or amaze me You won't even come to her rescue, cuz you're lazy It doesn't faze me, that you're crazy Cuz if I see you try to contain me, Then when I kick your ass I'll salt and shake thee I'm gonna rip off your 4 inch deformed dick, Shove it up your ass, like a certain medallion Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic Because bitch I'm high fuckin functioning autistic |
My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey
My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey | |
Stardate | 30 October 2009 |
Subject Matter | Kacey Music |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back |
next Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
Let us Sing This Duet together in Our Hearts.
CWC |
This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative. |
Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father | |
Stardate | 06 November 2009 |
Subject Matter | Comics |
Shirt | Brown |
Liquid Chris' videos | |
previous My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey |
next Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages) |
VIDEO DESCRIPTION:
Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.
Signed, "Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C) |
This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative. |
⇐ SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE | CWCivil War! | Sonichu Special 4 ⇒ |