Difference between revisions of "Minor Family Members"

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{{Quote|mom and dad's relatives gave us constant cold shoulders, thinking they're royalty, when really they're no better off.|Chris, 2011<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|mom and dad's relatives gave us constant cold shoulders, thinking they're royalty, when really they're no better off.|Chris, 2011<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives. David Alan Chandler has especially excelled, becoming an ophthalmologist and doctor.
[[Chris]]'s family has many '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives. This article aims to chronicle said relatives mentioned by Chris directly or indirectly.


==Chandler family==
==Chandler family==

Revision as of 16:43, 14 February 2020

mom and dad's relatives gave us constant cold shoulders, thinking they're royalty, when really they're no better off.
Chris, 2011[1]
It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, Christian, Bob, and everyone's favorite, Yawning Squirtle.

Chris's family has many minor family members about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at 14 Branchland Court generally lead relatively normal lives. This article aims to chronicle said relatives mentioned by Chris directly or indirectly.

Chandler family

Patricia Chandler

Patricia Harley, 1954

Patricia Faye Harley (born 20 November 1935), is Bob Chandler's first wife, a native Floridian and the mother of Drs. Carol and David.[2] She and Bob married at the respective ages of 20 and 29 on 29 September 1956 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and divorced on 28 January 1980 after a year-long separation. She was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

Carol Chandler

Carol Amiibo.

Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler (born 7 July 1969)[3] is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late Bob Chandler and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "Geinus" [sic] and "wiz."[4] She is known to have won the 1988 Mathematics Department McShane Prize at the University of Virginia.[5] Carol attended Providence Middle School.[6] Later, she was a member of Phi Beta Kappa. She earned a Ph.D. and is or was working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.[7]

According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. She and Bob seemed to have a negative or distant relationship, as it was implied in the Savannah messages that she did not attend his funeral.[8] In November 2015, Chris made a YouTube video in which he and his allies beat up Carol and other family members in Super Smash Bros. "Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father," he wrote in the video description. "There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us." He posted an image of a Carol Amiibo on Facebook, depicting her as a heartless Janekop.

David Chandler

David Alan Chandler.
David as a Jerkop, in Amiibo form.

Dr. David Alan Chandler (born 28 November 1962)[3][9] is an ophthalmologist in Richmond, Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of Bob Chandler and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris. Bob's obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.[2]

David went to high school in Chesterfield County,[10] studied medicine at Virginia Commonwealth University, and trained at Washington Hospital Center.[11] He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,[12] showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.[10]

Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January 2004 and learned then that David had a daughter by the name of Savannah, making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather. Chris also falsely claimed it made Barb a grandmother.

Diary entry:

January 6: Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [sic], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my current frames. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.
Christian Weston Chandler

One weekend Chris and Bob traveled to David's house to visit his family. The family was not at home, so Chris and Bob left gifts with the next door neighbors to give to them; an angel for Savannah from Bob and squinkles with a display from Chris[13].

Unlike Carol, David attended Bob's funeral. At the funeral Chris presented him with further gifts to give to Savannah.[14]

In Family Needs to appreciate Family, Chris called David out on not visiting Barb, seemingly unaware or ignorant of the fact that being a practicing eye doctor, David probably had more important things to focus on, and that David likely has little history with Barb which would inspire him to visit.

Uncle Wayne

A copy of Chris's DVD that was sent to a troll included a list of people whom Chris wanted to present in the DVD, but could not do so due to not having a picture of them. One of those people was an uncle from Bob's side called Wayne.[15] Virtually nothing is known about him.

Unnamed relatives in North Carolina

In his letter to Chris from 1987, Bob mentioned that his father, like him and Barb, had children through a second marriage, who at the time resided near Salem, North Carolina. As Bob was the only child of his father's marriage to his mother, Uncle Wayne was presumably one of these half-siblings.

Unnamed Maternal Cousin

According to the Autism papers, Chris has a severely autistic cousin on his mother's side. Other than that, nothing is known about that cousin.

Unnamed relatives in Oklahoma

During the course of two prank calls Bob mentioned that he has a cousin and several Cherokee relatives in Oklahoma.[16][17] Nothing else is known about them.

Jonathan Carey

Chris's cousin?

Jonathan Carey[18] is Chris's second cousin (being Aunt Corrina's grandson) who was married on the last weekend of June, 2009. He lives in Red Oak, Virginia. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder BILLY MAYS[citation needed].

June 2009 Wedding Photos:

Uncle Raymond

Uncle Raymond is Chris's step-uncle, the widower of Aunt Corrina and the step-grandfather of Jonathan Carey[19]. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the stepbrother-in-law of Snorlax, making Jonathan her great-nephew.

Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom

This is pretty much all we've got.
Save for this.

Harriet Ashby (née Weston) is Barbara's sister. She was born on 9 January 1947, and was married to Thomas Eugene Ashby on 29 May 1964 in Charlotte County, VA. Thomas was born on 28 October 1942.[20]

Harriet seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE and HONEST American patriot. Tom, according to Chris, is a retired fire inspector, and offered Barb advice after her house burned down.

As Chris told Catherine during her real-life meeting with him, Harriet and Tom still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but do not allow her over to their home. They have not even told Barb what their address is. Barb possibly went after Tom very aggressively when she was young.

Sources

External links

See also

Template:Not Jerks