User:Beat

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!

Operation Mailbag This user contributed to the Mailbag and had their e-mail answered by Chris.

CWChronology Iron Cross Thank u for ur great help towards the obsessive chronological documentation of Chris-Chan's life! :3

I think Beat is a pretty cool guy. Eh occasionally transcribes videos, and doesn't afraid of anything.

I like writing "TRANSCRIBING DIS BITCH" in talk pages, and often will transcribe bitches just for the opportunity to write that phrase.

My to do list

• My sandbox. I must have picked the worst project ever.

My letters to Chris

• The Man who was Thursday
• The Screwtape Letters

I like books.

Mailbag references

People, love to mail Chris under names of people famous enough that he really should notice them. Chris only seems to realize that he's heard of these people before if they repeatedly mention who they are and what they've done in the body of their letter. For example, Chris noticed and called out Eddie Berganza and Stephen king because they repeatedly mentioned who they were and specifically what they did in their lives. Likewise, Chris failed to notice people like Trent Reznor and Leonardo Da Vinci because the letters did not repeatedly reinforce that they were written by someone important.

Mailbag 1

• Leonardo DaVinci: Painter, inventor, super genius.

Mailbag 2

• Laura Winslow: The daughter from "Family Matters".
• Ivan Drago: Rocky's opponent from "Rocky IV".

Mailbag 3

• Manuel Noriega: Military Dictator of Panama.

Mailbag 4

• Todd Phillips: Filmmaker.
• Repeat appearance by Ivan Drago.
• Samael Morningstar: The devil.
• Joseph Stalin: Communist dictator of Russia.
• Gabe Newell: Co-founder of game design company Valve.

Mailbag 5

• Lietenant Surge: One of the Gym Leaders in Pokemon.
• Erich Von Klinkerhoffen: Nazi from the sitcom "Allo 'Allo!"

Mailbag 6

• Levi Johnston: The guy who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter.
• Kim Jong Un: Third son of Kim Jong Il, the psychopathic manchild running North Korea.
• John Gacy: Serial murder known as the "Killer Clown".

Mailbag 7

• Jeffrey Dahmer: Serial murder who liked to eat people.
• Sergeant Charles Zim: Character from Starship Troopers.
• Repeat appearance by Levi Johnston.

Mailbag 8

• Linetrap. But she doesn't really count.

Mailbag 9'

• Walter Sobcheck: Character from the big Lebowski
• Horst Wessel: Nazi activist.
• Trent Reznor: Nine Inch Nails frontman.
• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Current dictator of Iran.

Mailbag 10

• Repeat appearance by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Mailbag 11

• Paul Bernardo: Serial killer and rapist.
• Daniel Plainview: Character from "There will be Blood".
• Joseph Joestar: Second hero from "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure".

Mailbag 12

• Besarion Jughashvili:Joseph Stalin's dad.
• Another repeat appearance by Levi Johnston.

Mailbag 13

• Charles Darwin: The guy who came up with evolution.
• Gabriel Syme: Main character of the Christian allegory "The man who was Thursday".
• Rod Blagojevich: Disgraced former governor of Illinois.
• Walter Breuning: Guy who's really, really old.
• Oedipus Rex: Main character of the play by Sophocles of the same name.
• Erik Pikkuvikainen: The kid responsible for the Jokela school shooting.
• Albert Speer:Nazi Architect.

Mailbag 14

• Joseph Jackson: Michale Jackson's father.
• Charles Whitman: Clock tower sniper.
• Paul McCartney: International rock star and former member of the Beatles
• Gloria Steinem: Feminist activist.
• Elton John: International rock star. Wrote under his birth name: Reginald Dwight.
• Eddie Berganza: Comic artist. Was noticed by Chris, because he repeatedly stated his job and accomplishments.

Mailbag 15

• Norio Wakamoto: Japanese voice actor.

Mailbag 16

• Ron Jeremy: Porn star.

Mailbag 17

• Johnny Winter: Blues Singer

Mailbag 18

• Repeat appearance by Joseph Jackson.
• Edward Gein: Batshit insane murderer and grave robber.
• Wormwood: The Devil's apprentice from "The Screwtape Letters"
• Maria Renard: Character in several Castlevania Games.

Mailbag 19

• Marilyn vos Savant: Smartest person in the world.
• Light Yagami: Mass-murdering main character of "Death Note". Wrote under his Japanese name "Yagami Raito".

Mailbag 20

• While not written by any specific character, a direct reference to Wikipedia:Strong Bad.
• Corey Matthews: Main character of "Boy Meets World".
• Bruce Lee: Martial artist and actor, written under the Chinese name "Lee Jun Fan".

Mailbag 21

• Margaret Mead: Christian anthropologist and writer.
• Jesus Christ: The Christian Messiah.
• Colin Baker: English Actor, portrayed the 6th incarnation of Dr. Who.

Mailbag 22

• Tom Jones: Singer

Mailbag 23

• Guybrush Threepwood: Protagonist of the Monkey Island adventure game series.
• Howard Roark: Main character of the Ayn Rand book "The Fountainhead".
• Gary Oak: Pokémon Character.
• Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold: Columbine school shooters. The letter was not purported to be written by them specifically, but contained their pictures, and was written by someone claiming to be their teacher.
• Steven Patrick Morrissey: Singer.
• Thomas Light: Inventor of Mega Man, from the series by the same name.

Mailbag 24

• Liz Borden: Famous murderer, never proven.
• Vivian Ward: Main character of movie "Pretty Woman".
• Zetsubou-sensei: Main character of "Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei"
• Wolverine: Marvel Comics superhero (Written under real name "Logan").
• Magneto: Marvel Comics supervillian (Written under the name "Max Eisenhardt").

Mailbag 25

• Linetrap again.

Mailbag 26

• Trevor Wierzbowski: Minor character from "Aliens"
• Stephen King: Famed horror author. Chris actually noticed this one, probably because the writer of the letter was too blatant.
• Christopher Brown: Rapper. His letter is written about his girlfriend Rhianna, and how he beat the hell out of her.

Mailbag 27

• Ted Kennedy: Politician, recently deceased. Written about Mary Jo Kopechne, the girl he killed in a car accident.
• John Calvin: Christian philosopher.
• Randal Graves: Character from Kevin Smith's movies.
• David Vanian: Lead singer for the punk rock band "The Damned".
• And Linetrap again.